Another woman's perspective from NY Times op-ed writer Bari Weiss https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/15/opinion/aziz-ansari-babe-sexual-harassment.html
On Mon, Jan 15, 2018 at 9:12 PM, Kevin M. <[email protected]> wrote: > I genuinely didn't know Ashleigh Banfield was still on TV. Anyway, here's > her take on Ansari's accuser. I won't claim she speaks for all women, but I > do think her views fall in line with the women I've spoken about this with, > and with what we have been talking about in this thread. > > https://www.facebook.com/AshleighBanfield/videos/10155975073519757/ > > On Sun, Jan 14, 2018 at 11:18 PM, PGage <[email protected]> wrote: > >> Right, as I say, I don’t think we have any basis for talking about this >> as a criminal act (though I am aware those who have opined so far on this >> list identify as men). If I read tomorrow that Anzari has been banned from >> Netflix over this I will be troubled. But that does not mean the >> interaction described amounts to nothing. I am willing to take the specfics >> reported on their face, because I think they are consistent with two >> different interpretations of the date - consistent with the perspective of >> a man and a woman. One perspective is of a guy willing to use his position >> and power to get sex from a woman without the bother of a long term >> relationship, the other of a woman thinking she was exploring the >> possibility of a real relationship and finding the guy was only interested >> in sex. This is not news, it happens on the time. It happens enough that it >> is worth coming to some consensus on how to avoid the kind of >> “misunderstanding” Ansari thinks happened here. If you want to have sex >> with a woman, ask before touching her genitals. If you think you had >> implicit permission to touch her genitals, and she lets you know she does >> not want it, then stop. Once she lets you know she doesnt want it, the fact >> that she does not run screaming from the room, or call the police, should >> not be interpreted as tacit permission to try again. >> >> While there may be occasional, genuine misunderstandings, it really is >> not that difficult to work this out. WIthout knowing more (and it could be >> better or worse than it now seems), I would say Ansari;s behavior is >> somewhat less than that of a rapist, but somewhat short too of the behavior >> of a gentleman. >> >> On Sun, Jan 14, 2018 at 10:21 PM Kevin M. <[email protected]> >> wrote: >> >>> The writer of the article, one Katie Way, has quite an assortment of >>> headlines with her byline attached to them. Here are the most recent four: >>> >>> -- QUIZ: Plan your ideal 2018, and we’ll tell you what your makeup >>> aesthetic is >>> >>> -- God, sobriety, Mario Kart: Just a list of things we’ve pretended to >>> like to impress a crush >>> >>> -- Am I high as shit, or do these celebrities low-key look alike? >>> >>> -- Sorry, but Kendall Jenner can’t model for shit >>> >>> In the case of the article about Ansari, I am uncomfortable even >>> discussing the details of what was written in the story, because the writer >>> is not a journalist. Best case scenario, the writer took dictation or >>> transcribed what the alleged victim said (and I'm not sure the best case >>> scenario is what we are facing here). For "context" (those are sarcastic >>> air-quotes) the writer embedded video of Aziz Ansari doing stand up and >>> talk show appearances. Ansari's response didn't address any details, merely >>> reiterated what he'd written in their texts, that he believed the sex to be >>> consensual until he received a text wherein the woman said she was >>> uncomfortable after the fact. She did not directly accuse him of sexual >>> assault or abuse in those texts, and upon receiving what she texted, he >>> replied apologizing for any misread signals. This one doesn't seem to me to >>> be a career killer for Ansari. She wished him well on his movie plans and >>> thanked him for the dinner. He apologized. I'm curious if there were any >>> additional texts (you know... CONTEXT), but absent details -- realizing I'm >>> a male and my opinion will be regarded as penis-based -- this appears to >>> have been a date that ended badly and a guy who didn't act like a >>> gentleman. You can want to slap Aziz Ansari in the face for being a shitty >>> date, but I'm not sure what more we can take away from this one. Maybe if >>> the alleged victim's story had been told by a better writer I'd feel >>> differently. >>> >>> On Sat, Jan 13, 2018 at 11:55 PM, Kevin M. <[email protected]> >>> wrote: >>> >>>> This is now trending on social media. I'm not defending Ansari; not >>>> personally a fan. But I've not heard of this blog before, and the victim >>>> isn't named, so -- despite the specificity of certain details -- I'm not >>>> sure how much credence to give to this allegation. I know, I know, as a >>>> dude I'm an asshole for even suggesting a sexual assault story might be >>>> made up -- I am not saying that. I'm saying the woman isn't named and the >>>> blog isn't known to me, so it is difficult to simply take it at face value. >>>> For all I know, the blog is hugely popular in social circles I don't travel >>>> in, the story was written by a Pulitzer prize winner, and the anonymous >>>> woman in question has a genuine story to tell and a genuine fear of >>>> reprisal causing her to go unnamed. I am willing to believe the anonymous >>>> victim, but I have trust issues in my own personal life, let alone with the >>>> words of strangers. I can't see or hear the woman with my own eyes and >>>> ears, and I don't know anything about the person who wrote the story. If >>>> somebody can tell me something about babe.net that will assure me of >>>> its credibility, please do so. Right now, I'm just shocked a story from an >>>> obscure blog is trending. Hawaii had a nuclear missile scare, but that >>>> isn't trending. >>>> >>>> https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355 >>>> -- >>>> Kevin M. (RPCV) >>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> -- >>> Kevin M. (RPCV) >>> >>> -- >>> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google >>> Groups "TVorNotTV" group. >>> To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send >>> an email to [email protected]. >>> For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. >>> >> -- >> Sent from Gmail Mobile >> >> -- >> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups >> "TVorNotTV" group. >> To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an >> email to [email protected]. >> For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. >> > > > > -- > Kevin M. (RPCV) > -- Kevin M. (RPCV) -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TVorNotTV" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
