In all seriousness, I've been married for 22 some-odd years. My wife HATES
flyfishing. I still get out on an on-demand. Don't know if this works for
you but it works for me. Here is my formula:
#1 -- Monitor your expenses (if you don't already)
For years I've kept track of what is spent in nails, hair salons,
Nordstroms. This adds up to what I think is a pretty significant amount. In
my marriage she spends around $4k per year on the average. Do the same on
yourself, take the difference and that translates into trips and gear.
#2 -- Encourage and insist that she takes "girls trips". Above and beyond
#2 she will have a hard time denying you yours. My wife only ends up taking
a trip per year, always to a different destination San Francisco, Mardi
Gras, Sante Fe and this year Laguna Beach. I have her do this when the gray
of spring is wearing on her. This dollar figure then gets played back into
#1. More trips and gear.
#3 -- ALWAYS invite her along. In reality, I'd love to have her take up the
sport, but to-date she happily declines. Off I go on the trip or the day
excursion.
#4 -- All marriages has sacred non-negotiable areas. At least I think they
do. Mine is flyfishing. She knows not to go there. If there are
possibilities for divorce it would be her interfering with the equity of
#1. Also she knows and understands it is one of just a few things that gets
my mind off of work, and that is important.
#5 -- With exception to tropical destinations she sees my excursions as
cold, miserable and bear dangerous. Therefore she doesn't mind these trips.
To-date the tropical ones have been a hard sell!
#7 -- Make sure you take family vacations. If all you do is go on fishing
vacations and leave her with the kids, your in trouble. Relate your
devotion back to fishing requests and acknowledgement and understanding of
your addiction.
Ladies on the server. Do you have the same issues with your significant
others? Do you have recommendations?
Paul
At 06:12 AM 2/15/00 -0800, you wrote:
>Sorry but that's spoken by an unmarried man. Knowing my wife, stopping by
Nordstroms or a flower shop would probably be a better bet (no, picking up
Costco dogs for dinner won't cut it either). I think the thing to do, if
my brother is any example, is to get started during (or before) the dating
phase, he fishes about 4-6+ days/month (I'm lucky to do that in a quarter).
I will enjoy going to his wedding in Belize though! On the other hand, my
wife is already threatening me not to bring fishing gear or buy anything
new to take down there, softening up/level-setting exercises are already
beginning so I will be getting my line wet (guess now's not a good time to
tell her about my new 890-3 RPLXi Sage that I had my brother make for me).
>
>Hatch
>
>p.s. My fate is probably sealed now that we have a little one (two years
old now) but I'm hoping to get her into the sport which would actually help
the number of times I'll get out.
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Matthew [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
>Sent: 2/15/00 2:46
>To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Subject: Re: Married?
>
>
>I'm not married but everytime you go fishing stop by Fredericks of
>Hollywood on the way home and pick her up something.
>Eventually the Pavlov's dogs thing will take over and she'll be
>begging you to fish more.
>
>On the other hand there's always divorce.
>
>Matthew
>
>
>
>> I have been on this list for about six months and I am amazed at the
>> amount of times many of you are able to fish. Being married to a woman
>> that hates fishing (had I been seduced by the busty mistress commonly
>> known as fly fishing before we met I might not have been able to say "I
>> do" at the alter) I find it hard many times to get permission to go
>> fishing. As I read the E-mails of many of you and the frequency of which
>> you are able to go fishing I find myself extremely jealous, and I ask
>> only one thing of you blessed people. Please tell me how you get
>> permission from your wives! Any and all excused would be greatly
>> appreciated.
>>
>> Thanks.
>> Spencer
>>
>>
>
>
>---------------------------------
> Matthew W. Kaphan
> Silverdale, WA
> [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> http://home.sprintmail.com/~mwk
>
>
>
