Hi,
I have been married for almost 25 years.
My wife has always catered to my hobbies and interests. Be it the Army
Reserve, wargames, computer games, or fly fishing.
She buys me the appropriate toys for Christmas, birthday, and anniversary.
She says that she enjoys the fact that I always play with my toys. That they
get used.
For the first 20 years of our marriage I was in the Army Reserve. That meant
that I was gone one weekend _every_ month and for 2 or 3 weeks during the
summer (or winter here in Minnesota). Before we had a child, she liked this
because it gave her a weekend to her things at her own speed.
I took up fishing at the behest of my son when he was about 10 or 11. Then
going fishing became quality father/son time. My wife certainly wouldn't
object to that! Now that my son is older (almost 18) anytime that we are
fishing together is time that my wife doesn't have to worry about where he
is at and what he doing!
My wife has absolutely no interest in fishing. However when we travel I am
able to find time to fish when she is doing something else. Last summer, on
the last full day of vacation trip, she had completely run out of steam. She
was quite happy to let me entertain my self while she napped and vegetated
in the motel room.
Of course we all know about spousal credit. The basic rule is to keep a
balance in your favor and you can basically fish when you wish. My spousal
credit balance became quite high, and stays high, because I let my wife quit
her job 18 months ago. This solution may not work for all of you.
Your milage may vary.
Mike T.
----- Original Message -----
From: Paul E. Neel <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Tuesday, February 15, 2000 9:48 AM
Subject: RE: Married?
> In all seriousness, I've been married for 22 some-odd years. My wife HATES
> flyfishing. I still get out on an on-demand. Don't know if this works for
> you but it works for me. Here is my formula:
>
> #1 -- Monitor your expenses (if you don't already)
> For years I've kept track of what is spent in nails, hair salons,
> Nordstroms. This adds up to what I think is a pretty significant amount.
In
> my marriage she spends around $4k per year on the average. Do the same on
> yourself, take the difference and that translates into trips and gear.
>
> #2 -- Encourage and insist that she takes "girls trips". Above and beyond
> #2 she will have a hard time denying you yours. My wife only ends up
taking
> a trip per year, always to a different destination San Francisco, Mardi
> Gras, Sante Fe and this year Laguna Beach. I have her do this when the
gray
> of spring is wearing on her. This dollar figure then gets played back into
> #1. More trips and gear.
>
> #3 -- ALWAYS invite her along. In reality, I'd love to have her take up
the
> sport, but to-date she happily declines. Off I go on the trip or the day
> excursion.
>
> #4 -- All marriages has sacred non-negotiable areas. At least I think they
> do. Mine is flyfishing. She knows not to go there. If there are
> possibilities for divorce it would be her interfering with the equity of
> #1. Also she knows and understands it is one of just a few things that
gets
> my mind off of work, and that is important.
>
> #5 -- With exception to tropical destinations she sees my excursions as
> cold, miserable and bear dangerous. Therefore she doesn't mind these
trips.
> To-date the tropical ones have been a hard sell!
>
> #7 -- Make sure you take family vacations. If all you do is go on fishing
> vacations and leave her with the kids, your in trouble. Relate your
> devotion back to fishing requests and acknowledgement and understanding of
> your addiction.
>
> Ladies on the server. Do you have the same issues with your significant
> others? Do you have recommendations?
>
> Paul
>
> At 06:12 AM 2/15/00 -0800, you wrote:
> >Sorry but that's spoken by an unmarried man. Knowing my wife, stopping
by
> Nordstroms or a flower shop would probably be a better bet (no, picking up
> Costco dogs for dinner won't cut it either). I think the thing to do, if
> my brother is any example, is to get started during (or before) the dating
> phase, he fishes about 4-6+ days/month (I'm lucky to do that in a
quarter).
> I will enjoy going to his wedding in Belize though! On the other hand,
my
> wife is already threatening me not to bring fishing gear or buy anything
> new to take down there, softening up/level-setting exercises are already
> beginning so I will be getting my line wet (guess now's not a good time to
> tell her about my new 890-3 RPLXi Sage that I had my brother make for me).
> >
> >Hatch
> >
> >p.s. My fate is probably sealed now that we have a little one (two years
> old now) but I'm hoping to get her into the sport which would actually
help
> the number of times I'll get out.
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: Matthew [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> >Sent: 2/15/00 2:46
> >To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >Subject: Re: Married?
> >
> >
> >I'm not married but everytime you go fishing stop by Fredericks of
> >Hollywood on the way home and pick her up something.
> >Eventually the Pavlov's dogs thing will take over and she'll be
> >begging you to fish more.
> >
> >On the other hand there's always divorce.
> >
> >Matthew
> >
> >
> >
> >> I have been on this list for about six months and I am amazed at the
> >> amount of times many of you are able to fish. Being married to a woman
> >> that hates fishing (had I been seduced by the busty mistress commonly
> >> known as fly fishing before we met I might not have been able to say
"I
> >> do" at the alter) I find it hard many times to get permission to go
> >> fishing. As I read the E-mails of many of you and the frequency of
which
> >> you are able to go fishing I find myself extremely jealous, and I ask
> >> only one thing of you blessed people. Please tell me how you get
> >> permission from your wives! Any and all excused would be greatly
> >> appreciated.
> >>
> >> Thanks.
> >> Spencer
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
> >---------------------------------
> > Matthew W. Kaphan
> > Silverdale, WA
> > [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > http://home.sprintmail.com/~mwk
> >
> >
> >
>
>
