Marlon, I think the issues you have here are common ones wether or not computers, hotmail, myspace or facebook are involved. They are just parent child issues.
I used to be a technology coordinator for a school district. If you place security software on the machines, it will be worked around in minutes. The best thing I ever did was remove all of the stuff blocking everything, turned all of the machines around so I could see all the screens in the classrooms from the position you were teaching from and then put out the word in a whisper campaign that "The School Tech guy can see EVERYTHING!" :) This also works in corp environments... a quick walk into the sheep-porn-surfing-CFOs office with a stern "I see everything... and I mean everything" stops that stuff cold! In my personal life (I still consider myself young) I found that trust between parent and kid was the best method. The best thing my mother did was sit down with me one day and just tell me some of the crazy (s**t)... er things she did when "she was my age"... After hearing of: -The occasional kegger in the woods with her girlfriends (pull '69 Lincoln into the beer warehouse, place kegs in back seat, fill back seat with ice, go to party...) -Dating and all the things that went on with that. -Dating my dad (stop mom, I don't want to hear that!!) -disagreements with her parents. -occasional trouble in school. -etc, etc, etc.. I really started being really open with my mother because I knew that the things I was doing (staying out late occasionally, hanging out with friends, the occasional bottle of Boones grape flavored wine...) were minor things that she had done and were not as shocking to her as I thought. Because she was open with me about the good decisions and the bad ones she made, I was open with her. This open communication allows me to ask her advice on _ANYTHING_ because she was, and is not, judging me. While I have not always taken her advice, it has helped me make decisions from my teenage years till now... Of course. As it should be, when I was doing something that my mother would think was 'bad' the guilt would make me stop... When my now 7 year old is a bit older, my wife and I have agreed to share all of our life experiences with her. Good or bad. Sometimes it helps to know your parents were not saints and did make mistakes. We hope she comes to us with her problems, not so we can judge her, but so we can offer her our advice. We hope she learns from our mistakes. I want her to be the kid that calls me when she is drunk at 17 to come pick her up, rather than driving home to hide the fact she is drunk. I want her to know that there will be A HELL OF ALOT MORE trouble if my fire pager goes off and I have to cut her out of her car in the middle of the night than there would be if she pukes in my back seat. AAAANNNNDDD That was way too much information to give out on the list. I think I might need a new [email protected] list-serv! Good luck Marlon, from a former teenage domestic terrorist all I can say is I am pretty sure your kid will survive... and prosper... I mean, you are his dad and you are a great example to follow! I have to go now. I need to call my mom! :) ryan On Tue, Apr 13, 2010 at 10:49 PM, Marlon K. Schafer <[email protected]>wrote: > Hi All, > > Here's the scenario. My kids are expressly forbidden from having email > addresses outside my domain. They are forbidden from having myspace, > facebook etc. sites. > > If they want an email, fine by me, but it's one that *I* can check on. > > If they want a web site, fine by me, but make it a real one that *I* can > delete things from. > > I'm trying to teach them to NOT do or say things on the internet that might > bite them in the butt later. The days of people eventually forgetting the > stupidity of youth or passion are long gone. > > Anyway, my 13 year old has a myspace account. He used a hotmail email > address to get it. He had permission to use neither of them. I finally > found out about the myspace account and went in to check out what he'd been > saying. His trash and sent messages had both been erased between when I > got > the password out of him and when I had time to check on it. (I didn't know > that his zune, a video player!!!! would ALSO allow him to get on the net > and > work on his page, talk to his friends etc. deep sigh) > > So, I contacted myspace, using his account, and asked for all of the > deleted > information. I explained that I was the father of a minor and that he had > no permission to use their site and I wanted to know what was being hidden > from me. I gave my full name AND phone number as well as my email address. > > They were very good about contacting me quickly about this issue. However > they flatly refused to provide me with any information!!!!! They had NO > proof of age etc. on the account. Nothing to verify that the child was > over > 18 etc. And *I* as the PARENT am prevented from accessing the account > information! "go get it from your teen" is basically what I was told. > > WTF is this??????? Absolutly amazing. > > So, what do the rest of you do to try to protect or control your kids these > days? > > thanks > marlon > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > WISPA Wants You! Join today! > http://signup.wispa.org/ > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > WISPA Wireless List: [email protected] > > Subscribe/Unsubscribe: > http://lists.wispa.org/mailman/listinfo/wireless > > Archives: http://lists.wispa.org/pipermail/wireless/ > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WISPA Wants You! Join today! http://signup.wispa.org/ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WISPA Wireless List: [email protected] Subscribe/Unsubscribe: http://lists.wispa.org/mailman/listinfo/wireless Archives: http://lists.wispa.org/pipermail/wireless/
