Have a YA dance, and line all the YW up one wall and the YM up the other, and then
pair them off ;-)

Actually this isn't original -- I believe Wilford Woodruff actually proposed
something similar, although I don't know if it was tongue-in-cheek or not. My only
experience with arranged marriages has been second hand, with Muslim friends. We
had a marketing assistant at a company I worked for, with whom I worked fairly
closely. She was originally from Pakistan but was secular and non-practising, and
in fact it turned out I knew more about Islam than she did when I first met her
(she didn't even know what Ramadan was when I wished her an "Eid Mubarak" once*).
But all of a sudden she started getting interested in her religion when her
parents told her they were arranging her marriage for her. She herself said she
was the most shocked of all, and then shocked that she got over the shock so
quickly, once she talked to others in her parents' circle of friends. She ended up
getting married to an engineer from Karachi and both live here in Edmonton, but
although they consider themselves to be observant Moslems, they also live pretty
westernized lives; neither wishes to return to Pakistan (and not for economic
reasons, as both come from very elite families, but for social reasons and because
they like a democratic, open society).

*incidentally, for those with Moslem friends and acquaintances, Ramadan this year
nominally starts this Wednesday, iirc. I say "nominally" because it's never
official until the crescent moon is first sighted in Mecca. I guess they don't
accept inductive logic ;-)

It's customary to wish Moslems "Eid Mubarak", pronounced eed moo-BAHR-uk, at the
end of Ramadan, during the Feast, Eid al-Fitr, a 3-day celebration which is
culturally speaking their counterpart to Christmas. Eid is "festival, feast, fest"
and "mubarak" is "blessed, happy" (cf. the name of the current president of Egypt,
Hosni Mubarak). In a kind of cross-cultural borrowing, the Greek counterpart,
Makarios, which is the word that begins each of the beatitudes in the original
Greek, is also a Greek surname -- for a while in the 70s, iirc, the leader of
Cyprus was one Archbishop Makarios.

Stacy Smith wrote:

> How does one get an arranged marriage if one might wish one?  I'm mad it
> seems it can't be done in this culture.
>
> Stacy.
>
> At 08:49 PM 11/04/2002 +0000, you wrote:
>
> >On Tue, 29 Oct 2002 18:21:53 -0900, "John W. Redelfs"
> ><[EMAIL PROTECTED]> said:
> > > I do not think it is possible to fall out of love with your wife, at
> > > least
> > > not the kind of love I think of when I use the term.  True love lasts
> > > forever or it isn't true love.
> >
> >Well, you could get into a big semantic discussion on exactly what is
> >meant by the words, but yes, it can happen. It did to me. I remember the
> >feeling when I realized it. I talked with my bishop and he basically told
> >me to repent. I did so, and fell back into love with her.
> >
> >Unfortunately, I guess she must have fallen out of love with me, or at
> >least gave up on our commitments as bout a year later she left me for
> >some guy she met on the internet.
> >
> >This kind of falling out of love is not the same as drifting apart. We
> >had done that already or it wouldn't have happened. I think that falling
> >out of love (the real think like I experienced) is more akin to falling
> >into transgression until you can't feel the spirit. It is still there,
> >but you are incapable of feeling it because of your own actions. If the
> >person who has "fallen out of love" corrects the inapropriate behavior
> >that causes it, the love will (pardon the use of this expression, but it
> >is appropriate here) "shine through" again and they will effectively fall
> >back into love. This correction requires confirmation of commitments,
> >ceasing to dwell on what you perceive as the other's faults (true faults
> >or not) and generally making an effor to think of them in ways
> >appropriate to someone who is your spouse.
> >
> >This is one reason that I think arranged marriages work as well as they
> >often do. Both spouses go into the marriage knowing that they have to
> >build a relationship. This is the important part. Modern couples think
> >that the physical attractions _IS_ the relationship and thus often put no
> >effort into it. Once the initial physical passion wears off, the
> >"relationship" is over and they end up divorced in a few years or even
> >months.
> >
> >It is too bad in my case that I didn't do this earlier and know more
> >about what was happening. I might have saved my marriage. On the other
> >hand, I would have lost out, too, as I would not now have Jo as my wife.
> >The price I paid (and still pay) in getting to the point I was at when we
> >got to know each other is horrible to think about, but she _does_ help
> >make up for it.
> >
> >Scott
> >--
> >Buttered bread always lands butter side * Would YOU mistake these as
> >down (Unless it sticks to the ceiling!) * anyone`s opinions but my own?
> >          Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Scott McGee)
> >          Web:   http://scott.themcgees.org/
> >
> >
> >--
> >http://fastmail.fm - Email service worth paying for. Try it for free
> >
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--
Marc A. Schindler
Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada -- Gateway to the Boreal Parkland

“The first duty of a university is to teach wisdom, not a trade; character, not
technicalities. We want a lot of engineers in the modern world, but we don’t want
a world of engineers.” – Sir Winston Churchill (1950)

Note: This communication represents the informal personal views of the author
solely; its contents do not necessarily reflect those of the author’s employer,
nor those of any organization with which the author may be associated.

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