I also think that we will have to make realise them that we also can perceive the things in same manner as they can, though in different ways. We should our self invite them to join us in different activities, when next time they will organize any of such occasion surely they will not forget to make us part of that. What I felt that the people have their presumption that blind persons are not like us. Therefore we will have to make them realise that we are just like them and sometime better to them, though we have not to make realise it!
On 11/29/11, Adhimoolam Vetrivel Murugan <[email protected]> wrote: > One issue why your friends are not inviting you for films and other > activities may be due to the fact that they may not realize your > ability to enjoy such things and that's where your responsibility lies > in showing them how you enjoy those things despite your visual > impairment. And remember that inviting works both ways and as someone > already pointed out, you could also initiate some invitations? > > Vetri. > > On 28/11/2011, Sameer <[email protected]> wrote: >> >> Dear Rahul, >> >> I agree with the points made by Kanchan Madam in her trailing mail below >> regarding mobility. >> >> I am a late-blind individual & lost all sight when I was 22 years old. >> Prior >> to losing sight, I had a good-sized circle of friends but most of them >> started to avoid me after I lost my sight. Initially, I used to move >> around >> with a sighted guide & faced being left out from social gatherings like >> going to movies, parties etc. But since I have started moving around >> independently to a certain extent, many of my friends who had left when I >> lost my sight have returned. During talks with them, the most common thing >> for the break in friendship that I find is the presence of the sighted >> guide. Most of my friends used to consider him an outsider in the group & >> I >> was also marginalised as a result. >> >> So, I feel that you should also learn to move around without a sighted >> guide >> & trust your friends to help you move around. >> >> Regards >> Mr. Sameer Latey >> Mumbai, India >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "KanchanPamnani" <[email protected]> >> To: <[email protected]> >> Sent: Monday, November 28, 2011 10:08 PM >> Subject: Re: [AI] Socialising >> >> >>> Rahul, I have just read your mail and haven't read the trailing mails. >>> The problem is very clear. You will have to learn mobility and get rid of >>> your sighted assistant if you really want to go out wit friends. I am >>> notasking you to get rid of the driver. The driver will be an asset. The >>> faster you get more independent the better chance you have of making >>> friends >>> and moving from acquaintances to friends. >>> >>> Please understand that once you start trying to move independently others >>> around you will give you a hand. Its a bit of play acting and a bit of >>> preplanning. Call me on any Sunday morning and we can chat. >>> For those who are late blind and feel that their friends are cutting them >>> off I can only tell yu how I managed to retain my friends. >>> 1 Initially you may have to be the one who plans an outing. >>> 2. Never show your friends that you are depending upon them for reaching >>> a >>> place. Try to reach the meeting point on your own. Use others like >>> cabbies, >>> security guards, ushers and waiters. Be Bold and keep a bold face even if >>> you are scared or cursing in your heart. Kanchan >>> >>> -----Original Message----- >>> From: [email protected] >>> [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Rahul Bajaj >>> Sent: 28 November 2011 21:07 >>> To: [email protected] >>> Subject: Re: [AI] Socialising >>> >>> Hi all, >>> >>> First of all, I would like to thank you all for your wonderful and >>> informative responses. >>> I would love to be friends with everyone in this group :) >>> >>> Even I happen to be very good in studies, so there are many people who >>> contact me when they have doubts/difficulties related to studies. >>> My problem is not that I don't have friends. >>> In fact, whenever I go for a class, I mostly have someone to talk to, >>> and I usually have a lot of fun with my friends. >>> The only problem is that my friends don't call me when they go to >>> other public places. >>> >>> Ajay, >>> >>> I really appreciate your views, and I somewhat agree with you. >>> However, I have always believed that I will make myself more dependent >>> on others if I don't have a sighted guide with me. >>> I believe that my friends think that, If I go somewhere only with my >>> friends, and if something goes wrong, then they will be the ones who >>> will be answerable. >>> However, if I have a sighted guide with me, then they won't have to >>> make any extra adjustments for me. >>> >>> Most of these plans are made after the class gets over. >>> So, it could also be that I usually don't end up being a part of these >>> plans merely because I mostly have to leave immediately after the >>> class gets over, because I have to go with a sighted guide and a >>> driver. >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> On 28/11/2011, Ajay Minocha <[email protected]> wrote: >>>> Hi shadab >>>> in 4th standard I also had the same situation >>>> I was really naughty so my teacher arainged special seet for me just >>>> closed to her away from class >>>> till 12th standard teachers would want me to sit on the 1st banch >>>> because they know as soon as the teacher stoppes then ajay starts >>>> and I was too naughty I didn't miss even a single chance to moov away >>>> from my seet while in lunch or between other interwells >>>> and my friends also supported me >>>> they injoyed my company >>>> when we used to sit in class and have a chat >>>> then it was their duty to let me know when teacher is watching by >>>> touching me or some thing else >>>> and I used to become silent at once >>>> but in my whole school life >>>> I didn't let my self to loose the top 5 positions of my class in studies >>>> when my parents used to go in parents teacher meeting then teacher would >>> say >>>> " this boy is excilent in studies >>>> but he is equally naughty" >>>> regards >>>> >>>> >>>> On 11/28/11, payal <[email protected]> wrote: >>>>> Rahul, >>>>> >>>>> You've already received some excellent tips from others on this list. >>>>> The >>>>> main thing I can surmise from these and my own experience with other >>>>> sighted >>>>> people is that you need to be comfortable in your own skin to ensure >>>>> others >>>>> see you exactly the same way, confident and ready to take the world on. >>>>> >>>>> At 17, all your friends have plenty on their own to prove to the world >>> and >>>>> thus will have little time to spare you if you don't make your presence >>>>> felt. As Ajay has rightly mentioned, your sighted guide is perhaps a >>>>> deterent. They need to feel like you want to be one of them and let >>>>> them >>>>> do >>>>> all your guide perhaps does for you. You are not invisible, they need >>>>> to >>>>> see >>>>> that. I still have trouble with people wanting to speak to my companion >>>>> rather than me, simply because they know no better and I'm forced to >>>>> remind >>>>> them I'm only blind and can use all other faculties just fine and don't >>>>> bite >>>>> either. >>>>> >>>>> Give yourself the time and space to know that you indeed are a part of >>> who >>>>> all of them are and slowly, but surely things will get better. There >>>>> are >>>>> bigger things in life that will take precedence over this huge worry in >>>>> some >>>>> time. >>>>> >>>>> All the best. >>>>> >>>>> Payal >>>>> >>>>> -----Original Message----- >>>>> From: [email protected] >>>>> [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Rahul >>>>> Bajaj >>>>> Sent: Sunday, November 27, 2011 11:23 PM >>>>> To: [email protected] >>>>> Subject: [AI] Socialising >>>>> >>>>> Hi all, >>>>> >>>>> I hope you all are well. >>>>> Like I've mentioned in my earlier posts, I'm 17 and am currently in >>>>> 12th >>>>> grade. >>>>> I have quite a few sighted friends, but I've noticed that they hardly >>>>> ever call me when they go for movies, have birthday parties or have >>>>> get-togethers. >>>>> I feel that my visual impairment is a major reason for this. >>>>> We have appointed a sighted guide who goes with me everywhere. >>>>> >>>>> So, I often get depressed and frustrated when my friends don't call me. >>>>> In fact, for me, this is the biggest challenge that I currently have >>>>> to face due to my visual impairment. >>>>> I can't even ask my friends if they don't call me because of my visual >>>>> problem, because none of them will ever admit it. >>>>> >>>>> So, has anyone here faced this problem? >>>>> Please share your views and suggestions. >>>>> >>>>> Cheers, >>>>> Rahul >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>>>> >>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>> [email protected] >>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>> >>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>> please >>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>>>> >>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>> [email protected] >>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>> >>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>> please >>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> -- >>>> Ajay Minocha >>>> Mob : +91-7827188455 >>>> E mail : [email protected] >>>> [email protected] >>>> >>>> >>>> Search for old postings at: >>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>>> >>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>> [email protected] >>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>> >>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>>> visit the list home page at >>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> [email protected] >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> [email protected] >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> [email protected] >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- LL.M candidate at Faculty of Law in University of Delhi Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. 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