Oh my heart is aching for your loss of precious Nitnoy!
Have to admit I had tears in my eyes when I read this.
I've been on this group/list for many years as I'm a old timer. Seen many come and go but there are some stories of a kitty's life that grips my heart..and this is one of them!
 
You sound like me there was no limit on costs. I spent thousands of dollars to try to help and make my late Taz comfortable.
You had the comfort of your furbaby pass in your arms at home! She knew you loved her and bless you for giving her the chance at life even though it was short. 
I know you are hurting and it is never easy to lose a precious life that is close to our heart. There is never enough words to express my thoughts but let it be known you are in my prayers.
 
I didn't have the choice as Taz just had surgery made it through the worst part with a tumor removal.
(pretty extensive procedure to remove a tumor above his eye that was attached to his skull)
but wouldn't wake up.
So I had to let him go 6 hours after surgery....  :(     
Still to this day it still hurts but I'm in control of my loss of him. I lost him January 2002
I almost left animal rescue because he was my life and in my heart. My late husband said to take the negative and turn it into positive. At first I was like what the hell...but then it started to fall in place for me after one year.
So today my rescue is ran solely on his legacy. Taz had a great impact on my life and many rescue kitties.
He gave a new meaning if this makes sense. I've been in animal rescue for 35 years.
His story is told at the website below.
 

TAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTS/SIAMESE & COLLIE RESCUE
Sultan, WA. 98294
Terrie Mohr-Forker
http://tazzys.org/
Non-Profit national rescue
Dedicated to the welfare of animals.
 
 
Copyright © 1999-2012 tazzys.org. All rights reserved.
 
 
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: [Felvtalk] Nitnoy and felv
From: <dlg...@windstream.net>
Date: Mon, October 15, 2012 3:07 pm
To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org

My Nitnoy crossed over today at 12:45. She had been with me since 2008, survived a raccoon biting of her tail and being FELV +. There was nothing to idicate whaat was going on. During the holidays, she was not doing well so took her to ER. They did x-rays and complete bloodwork. I had told them she was FELV+ but they did not seem upset that she was just 1 point low on red and white cells. After the holiday, I took her to my vet as she was not improving, had not passed urine or stool. First thing he did was look at her anal glands. They were impacted and infected. He cleaned them out and gave her Covina and we brought home Orbax to be given once daily. Everything was much better, she was back to her self. Then Friday, she began hiding, not eating or drinking so took her to vet on Saturday. ONE THING SHE DID THAT STRUCK ME ODD - SHE TRIED TO EAT THE FIRBARK THAT MY ORCHIDS ARE PLANTED IN. Sat when we got to vet, my dr was not there, but his wife (also a vet) was. She said her lymph glands were slightly enlarged and gums very pale. We did another blood panel. Her white cells were .98 and her red blood cells were 3.2. Kidney and liver functions were normal as were creatine and bun. We thought about going to ER for transfusion, but she would have to stay over the weekend in a cage and we decided the stress would outweigh any good it might do plus her body might just kill the new blood and we would be right back where we started plus stress. Again, gave Covina shot and started again on Orbax. I wanted to try a tonic that has worked wonders on cancers, etc. Vet said ok but keep a record of what I did in case it worked. She actually seemed to improve. I was feeding with an eye dropper aruond 50 ml every hour (i can ad mixed with 3 cans hot water so she could swallow and also to egt fluids into her. She got around 50ml of tonic also. She took a turn for the worse this am at 3:30, but then seemed to get better. She was breathing easier, heart was strong and she responded to my voice and touch. By 12:45, she had gone completely the opposite direction. I was holding her aganst me as she seemed to like the body warmth when she gasped 3 or 4 times and the light in her eyes went out. I knew she was going and I told her it was all right. She held on with her claws, gave a sigh and that was all.

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