"... On May 10, 2:17 pm, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: ..."
> I would agree to a certain point. As a child the experiences make up > 98% of life and character, but as we grow and move on to different > experiences those early experiences become more the 80% and so on. At > your age I would think that those experiences would comprise a scant > 1%. I only wish that were universally true, but for some -- myself included -- those early experiences hung on in a greater proportion. At 69 I still suffer from a strong self-destruct psychology > the person from their life experiences". In my days of counseling I > found that those who were not able to shed their skin and walk about > anew were the ones who would carry the most burden, harbor the deepest > scars and suffer endlessly, though needlessly. Aye, that would be me. Though I've engaged countless therapists and therapies, I've never been able to shed those feelings of worthlessness, of always having done something wrong, of shame for who and what I am. Nor have I been able to undo or step outside the strong self-destructiveness that is deep within me and still controls many of my thoughts, words and deeds to this day. This is why I am live in poverty amidst the dregs of humanity today. Deep inside I feel this is where I belong. It takes all my strength sometimes to avoid taking myself out of this pathetic life. This is not to say that I don't have times when I feel mentally healthy and worthy of good things, but they are fleeting, constantly being shoved aside and disregarded by other feelings which go all the way back to my childhood which I've never been able to shed at all. > Part of that > shedding process you should be familiar with, mainly the changing of > environment and all social surroundings, a spiritual awakening through > retreat. Though I've done a lot of environmental and social changing, I've always carried those debilitations with me. I've found one can never run away from a problem. We always carry them with wherever we go. Nor am I the only one who has never been able to step outside their upbringing. I know of many who are far worse off than I and in this regard I consider myself to be somewhat fortunate. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
