"... On May 13, 4:47 pm, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: ..."

> Then I would have to conclude that you had in some way found comfort
> in being where you were/are and really have no need to step out of it,
> save for the sake of trying to live up to some implied social value,
> that we are not supposed to be "there" and if we are we should seek
> help.

You nailed it.  This was a lesson in human and my own psychology I
learned quite a while back -- that a person, me in this case, can stay
in the misery of their own perceptions because it is a known situation
and therefore to some degree comfortable and safe.   I believe a great
deal of it has to do with the genetic and environmental guilt I
inherited via my jewish and catholic background.   I've always been
generous with everything I possess but have avoided being the
recipient of anyone else's generosity or even their thanks.  Receiving
a gift or being thanked have always made me uncomfortable.

But all that aside, which could easily turn into pathetic woe is me
self-pity, I've had an exciting time, been down a lot of paths,
experienced a great deal of life that is not the norm, all of which I
think has given me a unique perspective on the whole thing.  I have a
broad understanding and grasp of this existence which I enjoy in spite
of the apparent and not so apparent degradations to which I subject
myself.  I sport an ego about some of my talents and beat myself over
others lost and wasted.  I do not rush to meet death in spite of my
occasional leanings toward self annihilation but when it comes I think
I'll greet it with willingness.and expectation.

> It may be that you should simply view the entirety of the
> experience as being not only acceptable but also advantageous thereby
> allowing for the dissipation of negative feelings.

I think to a large degree that is exactly what I do which in turn
allows me to achieve the insights and understanding which a few here
have enjoyed via my comments and thoughts.

> There must be
> countless times that you are engaged in a situation where you are
> unaware that your life experience is the basis of your ability to
> facilitate positive change somewhere for someone else.

Yes, and at times I am even aware of it which seems to enhance the
negative perception that had I not been burdened by some of my self-
defeating mechanisms I might have done more and better.  Everything
good becomes tainted by that negativity.  I readily see the flaws, the
imperfections, the failures in any successes I've had.  When I write a
piece and it's published, I dwell on the errors I know are present, on
the short-cuts I took, on the failure to do my best.  It doesn't
matter that a piece may be praised by others and that I may be paid
for it, I know what's wrong with it and dwell in that land of negative
nod.

I suppose somewhere along the line there may be some benefit accruing
to all this self-loathing, but I'll be damned if I can see it
clearly.  Yet, ironically and absurdly, for much of my middle life
I've also had a strong feeling that somewhere somehow I was destined
for greatness in some form.   This may also have been merely a
compensation mechanism to prevent me from getting too close to a
dangerous edge.

> Analogously,
> what would Moses have accomplished if he had not the enriched
> upbringing and suffering of banishment in the desert?  How different
> it would had been if he simply became a drunken fool in his desert
> dwelling constantly reflecting on his "loss" of Egyptian entitlement.
> Instead he utilized the entire experience to move forward with the
> confidence and wisdom he acquired from it.

Confidence is something I've not often had in useful quantities and
wisdom is a quality I've only come to possess in small quantities in
old age.   I've never felt like Moses and feel uncomfortable in a
leadership position.  I prefer working behind the scenes, out of sight
and out of mind.  Public acclaim makes me break out in a cold sweat.
But I've often compared myself to Job.

> The fleeting moments of wholeness are probably a result of feeling
> uncomfortable being out of the comfort zone, like cold feet moments.
> Sometimes, regardless of the quality, we choose to stay within
> negative areas of familiarity, where we know where we are and what to
> expect.  It is something like being institutionalized for so long that
> life on the outside, though representing the freedom that was dreamed
> about for years, is scary and unpredictable.

Exactly.  I've become institutionalized within the prison of my own
self-destructiveness and the freedom of which you speak is very scary
indeed.

> Perhaps you have more
> going for you than most considering the freedoms that you have created
> for yourself, the loosed responsibilities, fiscal, social and
> familial. Some that you may have thought had it better are living in
> tent cities without the amenities you are afforded.  Fact is you live
> like royalty compared to the slum dogs. Don't forget the A-1

In a very real sense this is absolutely true.  I have gained a lack of
attachment to possessions, a freedom to move about without burdens,
and the ability to turn my back on everything and head down a new path
should the responsibilities get to scary.  And I am well aware that
compared to many -- even most -- in this world, I live in relative
comfort yet the thought provides no satisfaction or sense of
accomplishment.

One solace I indulge frequently is that my suffering is preparation
for what lies beyond, if indeed anything does.  You are aware I'm
atheist but that does not preclude -- to my thinking and belief -- a
continuation of this consciousness, this sentience, after the
conclusion of my time here.   I can only hope I have prepared well.
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