Re: [AI] Possible Spam : Re: Of disclosing 'Disability' beforemarriage
I think, inclusive planet is the best platform for such fields. - Original Message - From: "Sushmeetha" To: ; Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 11:12 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Possible Spam : Re: Of disclosing 'Disability' beforemarriage Dear Prashant I agree your point of not having a proper platform to interact. Will like to extend the small platform created by Voice Vision on our website as a matrimonial column for both able & disable. Will request all the eligible men & women to enrol yourselves on this website, so that the first step of coming together could be achieved. We cannot do wonders unless we come together & try to get what we want. According to me no one else can help us unless we want to help ourselves first. May be the platform provided by our website is very small or limited, but is & will be growing day by day. Look forward to see you there. Website address: www.voicevision.in go to the matrimonial section and register. Thanking You Regards Sushmeetha Voice Vision 103 Synthofine Estate 'A', Off Aarey Road, Goregaon East, Mumbai 400063 India Tel: +91 22 4040 / 28755300 Fax: +91 22 40400123 / 28755303 Mobile: +91 9820566010 Email: sushmee...@voicevision.in Website: www.voicevision.in Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Prashant Ranjan Verma Sent: 11 December 2011 23:34 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Possible Spam : Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Seems like there are many eligible men & women for marriage on this list itself but unfortunately there is no good platform to encourage interaction among them. I am told that efforts of many NGOs for VI in this arena has not yielded much result. The BEST Way to Read and Publish: http://www.daisy.org/get-involved -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of tkg Sent: 11 December 2011 21:39 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage hai friends the various message from the different parts of india it is realised that the problems in marriage is a big fact. in the modern society the criteria for mate selection is changing day by day even in the case of normal personthe youngergeneration have imaginationabout his partener like he must have employed with highsalary,goodlooking, the skill in driving etc.in this circumstances no one is give his or her life for an experiment the simple reason may lead to divorce. by gopi t k the medias should highlate the life of the family of disab . - Original Message - From: "Shadab Husain" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:00 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Hi Bhawani bhai, http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/ Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned person. Regards Shadab On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other attraction. latter it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. some of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family laws, there is no remedy for men. thanks. - Original Message - From: "ss sarfudeen" To: "accessindia" Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.o rg.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/acce
Re: [AI] Possible Spam : Re: Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
Dear Prashant I agree your point of not having a proper platform to interact. Will like to extend the small platform created by Voice Vision on our website as a matrimonial column for both able & disable. Will request all the eligible men & women to enrol yourselves on this website, so that the first step of coming together could be achieved. We cannot do wonders unless we come together & try to get what we want. According to me no one else can help us unless we want to help ourselves first. May be the platform provided by our website is very small or limited, but is & will be growing day by day. Look forward to see you there. Website address: www.voicevision.in go to the matrimonial section and register. Thanking You Regards Sushmeetha Voice Vision 103 Synthofine Estate 'A', Off Aarey Road, Goregaon East, Mumbai 400063 India Tel: +91 22 4040 / 28755300 Fax: +91 22 40400123 / 28755303 Mobile: +91 9820566010 Email: sushmee...@voicevision.in Website: www.voicevision.in Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Prashant Ranjan Verma Sent: 11 December 2011 23:34 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Possible Spam : Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Seems like there are many eligible men & women for marriage on this list itself but unfortunately there is no good platform to encourage interaction among them. I am told that efforts of many NGOs for VI in this arena has not yielded much result. The BEST Way to Read and Publish: http://www.daisy.org/get-involved -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of tkg Sent: 11 December 2011 21:39 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage hai friends the various message from the different parts of india it is realised that the problems in marriage is a big fact. in the modern society the criteria for mate selection is changing day by day even in the case of normal personthe youngergeneration have imaginationabout his partener like he must have employed with highsalary,goodlooking, the skill in driving etc.in this circumstances no one is give his or her life for an experiment the simple reason may lead to divorce. by gopi t k the medias should highlate the life of the family of disab . - Original Message - From: "Shadab Husain" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:00 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage > Hi Bhawani bhai, > > http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/ > Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html > > > A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court > calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned > person. > > Regards > > Shadab > > > On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: >> yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows >> interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other >> attraction. >> latter >> it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have >> many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. >> some >> of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family >> laws, there is no remedy for men. >> >> >> thanks. >> >> - Original Message - >> From: "ss sarfudeen" >> To: "accessindia" >> Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM >> Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage >> >> >>> Dear members. >>> >>> I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma >>> earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the >>> gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in >>> marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled >>> partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted >>> person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly >>> influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to >>> reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading >>> a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible >>> at all. >>> I am not saying this without any factual evidences. >>> >>> Regards >>> >>> Sultana. >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other >>> changes, please visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.o >>> rg.in >>> >> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessi
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
Dear mr Subramani, i entirely agree with your observations. thank you. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee On 12/12/11, Rishi Kewalramani wrote: > > > Dear Subramani, > > I think you've made some excellent points on this subject. > > Marriage or companionship is an important part of our >> lives, but we shouldn't base our happiness on someone's acceptance or >> rejection of us. no one has the divine >> right to hurt us that way. > > > > Every human being tries to find peace and happiness in the world. Yet none > has succeeded in gaining ever-lasting Happiness. Happiness is not something > that we draw from the external world. For example, a person finds pleasure > in smoking cigarettes while another detests smoking. The cigarette being the > same, produces pleasure to one and pain to another. Again, one wants to > divorce his wife. Another waits anxiously to marry her. The lady being the > same, produces sorrow to one and joy to the other. Hence pleasure or pain, > joy or sorrow is not inherent in the objects or beings of the world. They > are in us. Depending on how we relate to the world outside. > > true happiness lies within us. We will have to find it in our own Self, > whether maried or not. The German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer puts this > idea succinctly: It is difficult to find happiness in oneself but it is > impossible to find it anywhere else. > > > > I'm not suggesting that marriage is not important, but to base our happiness > on it alone is an overstatement. > > Infact, marriage is a very sacred institution wherein we learn to increase > our circle of identification and love, learn the higher value of living with > each other in a spirit of service and sacrifice. > > The experience of love, the expression of this feeling seems to emerge > initially with our partner, our child. We perhaps did not experience it as > clearly until we raised a family. Having generated this noble feeling of > love, let us not restrict it, confine it to the family unit. Let the rays of > our affection radiate all over. Our fondness permeate every being. Our love > pervade the flora and fauna, hills and valleys and fill up the entire > universe. Our home therefore should be the centre and not the boundary of > our affection. > > So yeah as you rightly pointed out, the essential thing is to be happy and > drift like a feather in the > wind, we will find the right tree. Certain things in life are best > left to the control of the divine who has given us the intelligence, > job and position to care for ourselves. > > > And yes, even I'm of the opinion that it makes more sense to prefer a > partner who has a similar challenge,though it is not a rule. > > Thanks for your practical insight, > Loving regards, > Rishi. > - Original Message - > From: "Subramani L" > To: > Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 8:29 AM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage > > >>I do agree marriage or companionship is an important part of our >> lives, but we shouldn't base our happiness on someone's acceptance or >> rejection of us. Of course, it may make us feel disappointed or point >> to our disability, but we are our own person and no one has the divine >> right to hurt us that way. If you think only marriage or getting a >> companion would make you happy, ask those married and they would tell >> you it need not necessarily be true. Getting a life partner is >> something that happens in the process of living, or, those lucky >> amongst us get to spend time with someone chosen for us a lifetime >> learning about her/him. If it happens, it happens. Don't get desperate >> and marry someone to prove a point, this would be disastrous. Also, >> don't get rejections get to you. Believe me, disability is only a >> convenient excuse for many people to reject you. If you really seen as >> someone valuable in some way, surely the person who is able to >> understand that would take you as his/her life partner. Happiness is >> key to everything. If you are complaining and are unhappy, how do you >> expect to let someone know that living with you is the happiest thing? >> So essential thing is to be happy and drift like a feather in the >> wind, you will find the right tree. Certain things in life are best >> left to the control of the divine who has given us the intelligence, >> job and position to care for ourselves. remember, these are the things >> we never thought we would have for ourselves once upon a time (which >> is true for me at least). >> >> Subbu >> >> >> >> >> On 12/11/11, ss sarfudeen wrote: >>> Dear members. >>> >>> I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma >>> earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the >>> gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in >>> marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled >>> partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted >>> person willingly accepts thei
Re: [AI] Solution for win32 application error
it may mean many things 1 the file may be damaged 2 it may be a win 64 bit file to resolve it re download the 32 bit version of the file On 12/12/11, ekinath ekinath wrote: > Hi list membersx, > > What does it mean when the error is > > x y z file is not a valid win32 application > > And how can I resolve it. > > Thanks in advance > > > > -- > “The waves breaking on the surface draw all the attention, > but it is the current beneath the water that determines your direction.” > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- austin pinto email austinpinto.xavi...@gmail.com alternat email austin.pi...@hotmail.com facebook www.facebook.com/austinpinto.xaviers orkut www.orkut.com/austinpinto.xaviers twitter www.twitter.com/austinmpinto join me on google + surch for +austin Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
[AI] Moderator: cross postings and request for songs
Dear All Quite often, I find members making cross postings to various groups. Please remember that AccessIndia mailing list is an open archive. Which means, it is easily picked by any search engines. Where as others may not be. Hence, we enforce strict anti piracy measures. Very recently, Yusuf got into trouble because of this. I find that folks put in their query simultaneously to various mailinglist as a matter of routine even if the issue is not very critical. They will not bother to see if there is any response to their query. This is not a good practise and you are indulging in loading resources and wasting collective time. Besides, I again find requests for songs. Please don't do so on this list. I can understand if you are doing research in music where your request is not merely for entertainment. Please understand the difference between the two scenarios Warm regards Harish Kotian Moderator. Notice: This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, use, review, distribution, printing or copying of the information contained in this e-mail message and/or attachments to it are strictly prohibited. If you have received this email by error, please notify us by return e-mail or telephone and immediately and permanently delete the message and any attachments. The recipient should check this email and any attachments for the presence of viruses. The Reserve Bank of India accepts no liability for any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
[AI] Solution for win32 application error
Hi list membersx, What does it mean when the error is x y z file is not a valid win32 application And how can I resolve it. Thanks in advance -- “The waves breaking on the surface draw all the attention, but it is the current beneath the water that determines your direction.” Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
[AI] Tailoring by visually challenged
Friends We at BGFI Resource centre for the blind at Nagpur have a friend who was a tailor while sighted. He has gone blind about five years ago and has left his job of tailoring. I know the blind can effectively do the sewing and other tailoring jobs. Now the challenge is to train him do them without sight and develop his confidence... He is totally blind. Please advice where can it be done as a short term course? I was just wondering whether anybody locally conversant with niceties of tailoring could also teach him deal with the challenge successfully? With thanks and regards (Rajesh Asudani) Assistant General Manager Reserve Bank of India Nagpur Cell: 9420397185 o: +91 712 2806846 R: 2591349 It's not activity that wears out the body and spirit- it's inactivity. Keep going!" GUS ECKSTEIN Notice: This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, use, review, distribution, printing or copying of the information contained in this e-mail message and/or attachments to it are strictly prohibited. If you have received this email by error, please notify us by return e-mail or telephone and immediately and permanently delete the message and any attachments. The recipient should check this email and any attachments for the presence of viruses. The Reserve Bank of India accepts no liability for any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Is the very reason why I said eyes or the lack of it cannot be a constraint. On 12/12/11, Subramani L wrote: > Is the very reason why I said eyes or the lack of it can be a constraint. > > Subbu > > On 12/12/11, Asudani, Rajesh wrote: >> Well, I think we cannot just push disability into oblivion like this. >> saying that "I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone ." etc. >> just reinforces false defense mechanisms we all have inbuilt. >> Love is never unconditional, believe it or not. >> >> So, only a person who is able to relevantly take cognizance of disability >> and live with it can be a good life partner... >> >> >> -Original Message- >> From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in >> [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Subramani L >> Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 8:06 AM >> To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in >> Cc: unitee-education-c...@googlegroups.com >> Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage >> >> Hai folks: >> >> Enjoyed the great discussion. I feel trust and love are the two >> important ingredients of a loving companionship and not eye contacts. >> In fact, as someone who has seen the world and living without sight >> now, I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone . I support >> being honest and get the bad news upfront. This is an emotional thing, >> a heart's thing and we may fail or succeed, but what matters is that >> we went ahead and made our attempt. If someone agrees to marry you >> because you can see or physically unchallenged, then such a decision >> is made on false sense of security. Anyone can go blind or deaf or >> mute, even lose mental composure any time in our lives. the only >> permanent thing in life is the fact that we could love someone without >> our disability affecting us. So be honest and don't worry about your >> future. Particularly, don't come to conclusions from discussions we >> have here, because everyone's life is unique and there can't be an >> exact repeat of one's experience in another's life. Don't have >> pre-conceived notions about getting a life partner. Be positive and be >> prepared any way to lead your life as you wish it. Marriage doesn't >> mean you control that person. You just live together and extend the >> trust and love to that person.. That trust can be betrayed, but it >> never makes you any less of a human being. You still had the larger >> heart to love someone who could change her stance believing in that >> false sense of security. Remember "it's better to have loved and lost >> than never to have loved at all". Choose the right worthy and sensible >> partner who reciprocates your love. Enjoy that moment and forget the >> future, because who knows about it any way. >> >> regards, >> >> Subbu >> >> >> On 12/10/11, Shadab Husain wrote: >>> Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage >>> There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for >>> me. I had insisted to have my visual 'disability' (as others call it) >>> be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness >>> in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused >>> blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further >>> or politely tendered their refusals. >>> >>> My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it >>> difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I >>> will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful >>> act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get >>> disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until >>> my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not >>> caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, >>> then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I >>> used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel. >>> >>> We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us >>> often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to >>> them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily >>> telling us "What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know >>> your son, he is our child, everything is settled." >>> >>> Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. >>> Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that >>> we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and >>> blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had >>> visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my >>> blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her >>> often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did >>> not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue >>> again as if it was hurting them. >>> >>> Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some >>> uneasiness an
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Is the very reason why I said eyes or the lack of it can be a constraint. Subbu On 12/12/11, Asudani, Rajesh wrote: > Well, I think we cannot just push disability into oblivion like this. > saying that "I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone ." etc. > just reinforces false defense mechanisms we all have inbuilt. > Love is never unconditional, believe it or not. > > So, only a person who is able to relevantly take cognizance of disability > and live with it can be a good life partner... > > > -Original Message- > From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in > [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Subramani L > Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 8:06 AM > To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in > Cc: unitee-education-c...@googlegroups.com > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > Hai folks: > > Enjoyed the great discussion. I feel trust and love are the two > important ingredients of a loving companionship and not eye contacts. > In fact, as someone who has seen the world and living without sight > now, I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone . I support > being honest and get the bad news upfront. This is an emotional thing, > a heart's thing and we may fail or succeed, but what matters is that > we went ahead and made our attempt. If someone agrees to marry you > because you can see or physically unchallenged, then such a decision > is made on false sense of security. Anyone can go blind or deaf or > mute, even lose mental composure any time in our lives. the only > permanent thing in life is the fact that we could love someone without > our disability affecting us. So be honest and don't worry about your > future. Particularly, don't come to conclusions from discussions we > have here, because everyone's life is unique and there can't be an > exact repeat of one's experience in another's life. Don't have > pre-conceived notions about getting a life partner. Be positive and be > prepared any way to lead your life as you wish it. Marriage doesn't > mean you control that person. You just live together and extend the > trust and love to that person.. That trust can be betrayed, but it > never makes you any less of a human being. You still had the larger > heart to love someone who could change her stance believing in that > false sense of security. Remember "it's better to have loved and lost > than never to have loved at all". Choose the right worthy and sensible > partner who reciprocates your love. Enjoy that moment and forget the > future, because who knows about it any way. > > regards, > > Subbu > > > On 12/10/11, Shadab Husain wrote: >> Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage >> There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for >> me. I had insisted to have my visual 'disability' (as others call it) >> be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness >> in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused >> blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further >> or politely tendered their refusals. >> >> My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it >> difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I >> will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful >> act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get >> disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until >> my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not >> caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, >> then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I >> used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel. >> >> We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us >> often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to >> them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily >> telling us "What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know >> your son, he is our child, everything is settled." >> >> Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. >> Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that >> we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and >> blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had >> visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my >> blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her >> often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did >> not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue >> again as if it was hurting them. >> >> Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some >> uneasiness and requested to talk with the girl because I did not want >> to take chances. >> >> We went to meet them. It turned out that they were not taking my sight >> problem seriously because they were thinking that
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
Dear Subramani, I think you've made some excellent points on this subject. Marriage or companionship is an important part of our lives, but we shouldn't base our happiness on someone's acceptance or rejection of us. no one has the divine right to hurt us that way. Every human being tries to find peace and happiness in the world. Yet none has succeeded in gaining ever-lasting Happiness. Happiness is not something that we draw from the external world. For example, a person finds pleasure in smoking cigarettes while another detests smoking. The cigarette being the same, produces pleasure to one and pain to another. Again, one wants to divorce his wife. Another waits anxiously to marry her. The lady being the same, produces sorrow to one and joy to the other. Hence pleasure or pain, joy or sorrow is not inherent in the objects or beings of the world. They are in us. Depending on how we relate to the world outside. true happiness lies within us. We will have to find it in our own Self, whether maried or not. The German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer puts this idea succinctly: It is difficult to find happiness in oneself but it is impossible to find it anywhere else. I'm not suggesting that marriage is not important, but to base our happiness on it alone is an overstatement. Infact, marriage is a very sacred institution wherein we learn to increase our circle of identification and love, learn the higher value of living with each other in a spirit of service and sacrifice. The experience of love, the expression of this feeling seems to emerge initially with our partner, our child. We perhaps did not experience it as clearly until we raised a family. Having generated this noble feeling of love, let us not restrict it, confine it to the family unit. Let the rays of our affection radiate all over. Our fondness permeate every being. Our love pervade the flora and fauna, hills and valleys and fill up the entire universe. Our home therefore should be the centre and not the boundary of our affection. So yeah as you rightly pointed out, the essential thing is to be happy and drift like a feather in the wind, we will find the right tree. Certain things in life are best left to the control of the divine who has given us the intelligence, job and position to care for ourselves. And yes, even I'm of the opinion that it makes more sense to prefer a partner who has a similar challenge,though it is not a rule. Thanks for your practical insight, Loving regards, Rishi. - Original Message - From: "Subramani L" To: Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 8:29 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage I do agree marriage or companionship is an important part of our lives, but we shouldn't base our happiness on someone's acceptance or rejection of us. Of course, it may make us feel disappointed or point to our disability, but we are our own person and no one has the divine right to hurt us that way. If you think only marriage or getting a companion would make you happy, ask those married and they would tell you it need not necessarily be true. Getting a life partner is something that happens in the process of living, or, those lucky amongst us get to spend time with someone chosen for us a lifetime learning about her/him. If it happens, it happens. Don't get desperate and marry someone to prove a point, this would be disastrous. Also, don't get rejections get to you. Believe me, disability is only a convenient excuse for many people to reject you. If you really seen as someone valuable in some way, surely the person who is able to understand that would take you as his/her life partner. Happiness is key to everything. If you are complaining and are unhappy, how do you expect to let someone know that living with you is the happiest thing? So essential thing is to be happy and drift like a feather in the wind, you will find the right tree. Certain things in life are best left to the control of the divine who has given us the intelligence, job and position to care for ourselves. remember, these are the things we never thought we would have for ourselves once upon a time (which is true for me at least). Subbu On 12/11/11, ss sarfudeen wrote: Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Well, I think we cannot just push disability into oblivion like this. saying that "I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone ." etc. just reinforces false defense mechanisms we all have inbuilt. Love is never unconditional, believe it or not. So, only a person who is able to relevantly take cognizance of disability and live with it can be a good life partner... -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Subramani L Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 8:06 AM To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Cc: unitee-education-c...@googlegroups.com Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Hai folks: Enjoyed the great discussion. I feel trust and love are the two important ingredients of a loving companionship and not eye contacts. In fact, as someone who has seen the world and living without sight now, I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone . I support being honest and get the bad news upfront. This is an emotional thing, a heart's thing and we may fail or succeed, but what matters is that we went ahead and made our attempt. If someone agrees to marry you because you can see or physically unchallenged, then such a decision is made on false sense of security. Anyone can go blind or deaf or mute, even lose mental composure any time in our lives. the only permanent thing in life is the fact that we could love someone without our disability affecting us. So be honest and don't worry about your future. Particularly, don't come to conclusions from discussions we have here, because everyone's life is unique and there can't be an exact repeat of one's experience in another's life. Don't have pre-conceived notions about getting a life partner. Be positive and be prepared any way to lead your life as you wish it. Marriage doesn't mean you control that person. You just live together and extend the trust and love to that person.. That trust can be betrayed, but it never makes you any less of a human being. You still had the larger heart to love someone who could change her stance believing in that false sense of security. Remember "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Choose the right worthy and sensible partner who reciprocates your love. Enjoy that moment and forget the future, because who knows about it any way. regards, Subbu On 12/10/11, Shadab Husain wrote: > Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for > me. I had insisted to have my visual 'disability' (as others call it) > be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness > in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused > blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further > or politely tendered their refusals. > > My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it > difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I > will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful > act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get > disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until > my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not > caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, > then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I > used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel. > > We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us > often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to > them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily > telling us "What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know > your son, he is our child, everything is settled." > > Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. > Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that > we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and > blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had > visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my > blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her > often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did > not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue > again as if it was hurting them. > > Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some > uneasiness and requested to talk with the girl because I did not want > to take chances. > > We went to meet them. It turned out that they were not taking my sight > problem seriously because they were thinking that I have enough sight > to do my work on my own. For instance, they knew that I work on > computers and move around the city and out of the city independently > (at the time these talks were taking place I was out of station). But > the astonishing
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
In most of the cases cheated? Have you conducted any empirical study? Please share the sample size and the results? -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can't believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don't pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can't run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: > Dear Shadab bhai, > > you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a > job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a > farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually > disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was > junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally > go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months > after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply > engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me > who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but > when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our > affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other > ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she > called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual > disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) > > she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents > are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters > as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the > disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my > parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding > all or most of my aspirations. > > but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end > of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such > end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would > continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married > life. > > sorry for a longish mail. > > with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 > > On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: >> oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the >> ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but >> also in all the developed nations too and it can't be change in one >> night. >> This is equally true that the situation is more critical for the blind >> women. >> With Regards >> B. R. Nautial >> - Original Message - >> From: "Sushmeetha" >> To: >> Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 7:41 PM >> Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage >> >> >>> Its easy for a guy to disclose & still get a wife, but its not possible >>> for >>> a lady to get a husband. >>> >>> As whatever we have achieved or however modernised we are, a man still >>> looks >>> his wife to be a good house wife only. >>> >>> Still my personal view is to disclose in the beginning & get rejected, >>> than >>> disclosing later and getting divorced. >>> >
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
I am afryed, there is some misunderstanding in my mail. I did'nt mean to say that the disability should not be disclosed at all. But my point was that, even the disability was disclosed, there is a tendency of the society to assume that it has not been fully disclosed. Renuka. On 12/12/11, Subramani L wrote: > Hai folks: > > Enjoyed the great discussion. I feel trust and love are the two > important ingredients of a loving companionship and not eye contacts. > In fact, as someone who has seen the world and living without sight > now, I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone . I support > being honest and get the bad news upfront. This is an emotional thing, > a heart's thing and we may fail or succeed, but what matters is that > we went ahead and made our attempt. If someone agrees to marry you > because you can see or physically unchallenged, then such a decision > is made on false sense of security. Anyone can go blind or deaf or > mute, even lose mental composure any time in our lives. the only > permanent thing in life is the fact that we could love someone without > our disability affecting us. So be honest and don't worry about your > future. Particularly, don't come to conclusions from discussions we > have here, because everyone's life is unique and there can't be an > exact repeat of one's experience in another's life. Don't have > pre-conceived notions about getting a life partner. Be positive and be > prepared any way to lead your life as you wish it. Marriage doesn't > mean you control that person. You just live together and extend the > trust and love to that person.. That trust can be betrayed, but it > never makes you any less of a human being. You still had the larger > heart to love someone who could change her stance believing in that > false sense of security. Remember "it's better to have loved and lost > than never to have loved at all". Choose the right worthy and sensible > partner who reciprocates your love. Enjoy that moment and forget the > future, because who knows about it any way. > > regards, > > Subbu > > > On 12/10/11, Shadab Husain wrote: >> Of disclosing ‘disability’ before marriage >> There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for >> me. I had insisted to have my visual ‘disability’ (as others call it) >> be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness >> in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused >> blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further >> or politely tendered their refusals. >> >> My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it >> difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I >> will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful >> act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get >> disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until >> my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not >> caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, >> then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I >> used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel. >> >> We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us >> often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to >> them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily >> telling us “What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know >> your son, he is our child, everything is settled.” >> >> Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. >> Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that >> we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and >> blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had >> visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my >> blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her >> often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did >> not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue >> again as if it was hurting them. >> >> Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some >> uneasiness and requested to talk with the girl because I did not want >> to take chances. >> >> We went to meet them. It turned out that they were not taking my sight >> problem seriously because they were thinking that I have enough sight >> to do my work on my own. For instance, they knew that I work on >> computers and move around the city and out of the city independently >> (at the time these talks were taking place I was out of station). But >> the astonishing thing was that they could not realise that in the >> course of time I have become blind. >> >> I told her mother point-blank: “I can only see light. I am looking >> towards your face because of your voice. I use screen reading >> technology to work on computers. And I use a cane when I
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Good Shadab, Congrats for the right approach and of course for marriage as well. However, you have conveniently chosen to omit the modus operandi of disclosure and the impact on your wife. You have just written a couple of last lines, as if positive decisions do not need any analysis Anyway, the first encounter and disclosure is praiseworthy, as you aptly chose to dispel the outward impression of no actual blindness by revealing it forthrightly I am always put off by people who while dealing with disabled say that they don't realize we are disabled because of our good performance. I thought they are just lying, but this incidence and many others have convinced me that they mean it literally. Nothing could be more harmful for persons with disabilities. In fact, due to this I am suffering in my official life also, as others, mainly orthopedically disabled do not make authorities realize that they are disabled and go at lengths for it and are more than glad. In fact they are not severely disabled and so can put up the show. However, when it comes to severely disabled, that too visually challenged, it is not possible to keep up the show, so it is better that while trying to be independent, the disability should be relevantly figured into our activities and interactions. The nature of this relevance keeps changing with time and technology and N number of other factors, and the whole issue of disability revolves around figuring out this relevance. So, good luck for your married life -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Shadab Husain Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 4:03 PM To: accessindia; unitee-education-c...@googlegroups.com Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for me. I had insisted to have my visual 'disability' (as others call it) be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further or politely tendered their refusals. My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel. We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily telling us "What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know your son, he is our child, everything is settled." Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue again as if it was hurting them. Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some uneasiness and requested to talk with the girl because I did not want to take chances. We went to meet them. It turned out that they were not taking my sight problem seriously because they were thinking that I have enough sight to do my work on my own. For instance, they knew that I work on computers and move around the city and out of the city independently (at the time these talks were taking place I was out of station). But the astonishing thing was that they could not realise that in the course of time I have become blind. I told her mother point-blank: "I can only see light. I am looking towards your face because of your voice. I use screen reading technology to work on computers. And I use a cane when I walk alone. I cannot see." She gave a pause. That pause clearly expressed that she was broken. (Later, I came to know from my mother that her hands were shaking at that time.) Then I talked with the girl who had already known about the new condition I was in. She sounded perplexed and disinclined. Their reaction, though, was normal. Anyone would have reacted in a similar manner after knowing about my blindness. My mar
Re: [AI] Regarding IAS coaching material and any Reasoning book
nope. You don't have to be a student of IGNOU to register and download books. while registering, choose "general acc" in the "Select Registration Type" combobox which is the 3rd item after student and IGNOU faculty. http://www.egyankosh.ac.in/register On 12/11/11, Shona Man wrote: > But it is requiring ignou enrolment no. which I do not have, what is > the solution for that? > > On 12/11/11, Bikash J wrote: >> friends, for IGNOU materials including Pub Ad just visitand >> register in the following link! >> >> http://www.egyankosh.ac.in/ >> >> Hope it helps! >> bikash >> >> >> On 12/9/11, Umesha Economics wrote: >>> I have heard about brilliant tutorials. they give study materials in >>> print >>> format. but I am not sure about quality. I have a print copy of agarwal's >>> verbal reasoning. but its difficult to scan it with kurzweil. public >>> administration material you can get if you have any current or past >>> student >>> of IGNOU. if there is anybody in the list, he/she can help. >>> >>> Umesha >>> >>> - Original Message - >>> From: "Shona Man" >>> To: "accessindia" >>> Sent: Friday, December 09, 2011 11:07 AM >>> Subject: [AI] Regarding IAS coaching material and any Reasoning book >>> >>> Hi friends now a days after december I am planning to prepare rigorously arduousIAS preparation, since I am a regular student therefore it will be difficult to attend any regular coaching for this purpose, still I want to take notes, weather in printed or in pdf format from any coaching center. Can anybody tell me that which coaching is providing the study material in accessible format or in printed format and what is the fee for that. Members may share that which coaching is better in this respect, remember I am talking about prilims only. Friends I want a good book upon verble and non verbal reasoning, if anybody has reasoning book written by R.S Agrwal then can he/she share with me? Can anybody tell me that from where can I get Public administration ignou notes in accessible format? any help in this regard will be much appretiated. -- LL.M candidate at Faculty of Law in University of Delhi Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> > > > -- > LL.M candidate > at Faculty of Law in University of Delhi > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
But the problem is that a partial vision person wants a sighted life partner. This is the general mentality. - Original Message - From: "B. R. Nautial" To: Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 8:58 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage oh! this is not such a big issue, only we need to prefer a good partner in the same disability. a blind girl should have to marry with a partially blind guy and a blind guy should have to marry to a partially blind girl. If we go forward with this approach, the problem will automatically be resolve. This is equally true that the situation is quite critical for the blind woman so young generation should have to come forward with some positive approach and constructive frame-work of mind. In our society, Unfortunately, generally, a girl is ready to marry with any type of person but not with the blind. With Regards B. R. Nautial Mobile: +919915073368 - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: ; Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 7:39 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage please arrange one special accessindia convention for the purpose smile! - Original Message - From: "Prashant Ranjan Verma" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 11:34 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Seems like there are many eligible men & women for marriage on this list itself but unfortunately there is no good platform to encourage interaction among them. I am told that efforts of many NGOs for VI in this arena has not yielded much result. The BEST Way to Read and Publish: http://www.daisy.org/get-involved -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of tkg Sent: 11 December 2011 21:39 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage hai friends the various message from the different parts of india it is realised that the problems in marriage is a big fact. in the modern society the criteria for mate selection is changing day by day even in the case of normal personthe youngergeneration have imaginationabout his partener like he must have employed with highsalary,goodlooking, the skill in driving etc.in this circumstances no one is give his or her life for an experiment the simple reason may lead to divorce. by gopi t k the medias should highlate the life of the family of disab . - Original Message - From: "Shadab Husain" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:00 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Hi Bhawani bhai, http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/ Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned person. Regards Shadab On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other attraction. latter it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. some of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family laws, there is no remedy for men. thanks. - Original Message - From: "ss sarfudeen" To: "accessindia" Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.o rg.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.i
Re: [AI] two requests regarding chess
Visit www.chessgames.com. There you will find loads of chessgames to learn and study. You can also join email chess club at www.chess-iecc.com. Learning by playing is the best way to learn. As for your second question, you can study the downloaded games on winboard or by playing your games and seeing the response of the program. Justin At 06:53 PM 12/7/2011 +0530, you wrote: Dear list members, as suggested in the subject line, i have two requests regarding improvement of my knowledge about chess. 1st, could anyone please send me some chess games? (off the list of course) i badly need those. 2nd, can i develop my knowledge through winboard? if yes, how? please give me some detail. looking forward to your suggestions, with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile:09433305139 Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
oh! this is not such a big issue, only we need to prefer a good partner in the same disability. a blind girl should have to marry with a partially blind guy and a blind guy should have to marry to a partially blind girl. If we go forward with this approach, the problem will automatically be resolve. This is equally true that the situation is quite critical for the blind woman so young generation should have to come forward with some positive approach and constructive frame-work of mind. In our society, Unfortunately, generally, a girl is ready to marry with any type of person but not with the blind. With Regards B. R. Nautial Mobile: +919915073368 - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: ; Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 7:39 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage please arrange one special accessindia convention for the purpose smile! - Original Message - From: "Prashant Ranjan Verma" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 11:34 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Seems like there are many eligible men & women for marriage on this list itself but unfortunately there is no good platform to encourage interaction among them. I am told that efforts of many NGOs for VI in this arena has not yielded much result. The BEST Way to Read and Publish: http://www.daisy.org/get-involved -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of tkg Sent: 11 December 2011 21:39 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage hai friends the various message from the different parts of india it is realised that the problems in marriage is a big fact. in the modern society the criteria for mate selection is changing day by day even in the case of normal personthe youngergeneration have imaginationabout his partener like he must have employed with highsalary,goodlooking, the skill in driving etc.in this circumstances no one is give his or her life for an experiment the simple reason may lead to divorce. by gopi t k the medias should highlate the life of the family of disab . - Original Message - From: "Shadab Husain" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:00 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Hi Bhawani bhai, http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/ Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned person. Regards Shadab On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other attraction. latter it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. some of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family laws, there is no remedy for men. thanks. - Original Message - From: "ss sarfudeen" To: "accessindia" Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.o rg.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.or g.in -- Develop your personality and English at http://PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com/ Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessind
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
I do agree marriage or companionship is an important part of our lives, but we shouldn't base our happiness on someone's acceptance or rejection of us. Of course, it may make us feel disappointed or point to our disability, but we are our own person and no one has the divine right to hurt us that way. If you think only marriage or getting a companion would make you happy, ask those married and they would tell you it need not necessarily be true. Getting a life partner is something that happens in the process of living, or, those lucky amongst us get to spend time with someone chosen for us a lifetime learning about her/him. If it happens, it happens. Don't get desperate and marry someone to prove a point, this would be disastrous. Also, don't get rejections get to you. Believe me, disability is only a convenient excuse for many people to reject you. If you really seen as someone valuable in some way, surely the person who is able to understand that would take you as his/her life partner. Happiness is key to everything. If you are complaining and are unhappy, how do you expect to let someone know that living with you is the happiest thing? So essential thing is to be happy and drift like a feather in the wind, you will find the right tree. Certain things in life are best left to the control of the divine who has given us the intelligence, job and position to care for ourselves. remember, these are the things we never thought we would have for ourselves once upon a time (which is true for me at least). Subbu On 12/11/11, ss sarfudeen wrote: > Dear members. > > I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma > earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the > gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in > marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled > partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted > person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly > influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to > reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a > happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at > all. > I am not saying this without any factual evidences. > > Regards > > Sultana. > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- L. Subramani, Snr. Subeditor, Deccan Herald, Bangalore, M: 91-9886046612 "You see and ask why? I dream and ask why not?" Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Hai folks: Enjoyed the great discussion. I feel trust and love are the two important ingredients of a loving companionship and not eye contacts. In fact, as someone who has seen the world and living without sight now, I feel eyes are the greatest distractions for anyone . I support being honest and get the bad news upfront. This is an emotional thing, a heart's thing and we may fail or succeed, but what matters is that we went ahead and made our attempt. If someone agrees to marry you because you can see or physically unchallenged, then such a decision is made on false sense of security. Anyone can go blind or deaf or mute, even lose mental composure any time in our lives. the only permanent thing in life is the fact that we could love someone without our disability affecting us. So be honest and don't worry about your future. Particularly, don't come to conclusions from discussions we have here, because everyone's life is unique and there can't be an exact repeat of one's experience in another's life. Don't have pre-conceived notions about getting a life partner. Be positive and be prepared any way to lead your life as you wish it. Marriage doesn't mean you control that person. You just live together and extend the trust and love to that person.. That trust can be betrayed, but it never makes you any less of a human being. You still had the larger heart to love someone who could change her stance believing in that false sense of security. Remember "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Choose the right worthy and sensible partner who reciprocates your love. Enjoy that moment and forget the future, because who knows about it any way. regards, Subbu On 12/10/11, Shadab Husain wrote: > Of disclosing ‘disability’ before marriage > There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for > me. I had insisted to have my visual ‘disability’ (as others call it) > be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness > in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused > blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further > or politely tendered their refusals. > > My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it > difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I > will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful > act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get > disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until > my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not > caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, > then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I > used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel. > > We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us > often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to > them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily > telling us “What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know > your son, he is our child, everything is settled.” > > Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. > Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that > we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and > blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had > visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my > blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her > often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did > not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue > again as if it was hurting them. > > Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some > uneasiness and requested to talk with the girl because I did not want > to take chances. > > We went to meet them. It turned out that they were not taking my sight > problem seriously because they were thinking that I have enough sight > to do my work on my own. For instance, they knew that I work on > computers and move around the city and out of the city independently > (at the time these talks were taking place I was out of station). But > the astonishing thing was that they could not realise that in the > course of time I have become blind. > > I told her mother point-blank: “I can only see light. I am looking > towards your face because of your voice. I use screen reading > technology to work on computers. And I use a cane when I walk alone. I > cannot see.” > > She gave a pause. That pause clearly expressed that she was broken. > (Later, I came to know from my mother that her hands were shaking at > that time.) Then I talked with the girl who had already known about > the new condition I was in. She sounded perplexed and disinclined. > > Their reaction, though, was normal. Anyone would have reacted in a > similar manner after knowing about my bli
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
please arrange one special accessindia convention for the purpose smile! - Original Message - From: "Prashant Ranjan Verma" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 11:34 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Seems like there are many eligible men & women for marriage on this list itself but unfortunately there is no good platform to encourage interaction among them. I am told that efforts of many NGOs for VI in this arena has not yielded much result. The BEST Way to Read and Publish: http://www.daisy.org/get-involved -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of tkg Sent: 11 December 2011 21:39 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage hai friends the various message from the different parts of india it is realised that the problems in marriage is a big fact. in the modern society the criteria for mate selection is changing day by day even in the case of normal personthe youngergeneration have imaginationabout his partener like he must have employed with highsalary,goodlooking, the skill in driving etc.in this circumstances no one is give his or her life for an experiment the simple reason may lead to divorce. by gopi t k the medias should highlate the life of the family of disab . - Original Message - From: "Shadab Husain" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:00 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Hi Bhawani bhai, http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/ Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned person. Regards Shadab On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other attraction. latter it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. some of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family laws, there is no remedy for men. thanks. - Original Message - From: "ss sarfudeen" To: "accessindia" Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.o rg.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.or g.in -- Develop your personality and English at http://PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com/ Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org .in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscripti
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
how do a person can perform love marrige. one should fall in love first. it desires a big fortune! if you have done so, you are luckey enough. smiles! - Original Message - From: "akhilesh" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 10:23 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Hello, I don't understand why the persons with disabilities prefer to marry with a sighted or the non disabled? I strongly believe that a blind person can understand the problem of a blind person better. Whatever I have seen in Delhi so far in 10 years, the trend is that the visually challenged do prefer to marry with a visually challenged only. I know so many girls who fear to marry with a sighted guy and vice versa. The points raised by Mr. Bhawani shankar are quite valid and real. Also, the number of cases of cheating by sighted partners with their blind partners as raised by Mr. Bhawani Shankar is quite high. Exceptions are always there, and this arena is not free from exceptions of cheating. However, exceptions can not be taken as examples or the guiding points. You are blind, and you’re not willing to accept a blind as your life partner then what kind of treatment and behavior you expect from society and non disabled community? This question seems important to me, because I see it as a “type of discrimination by blinds with blinds “, or some other interests such as she or he may be able to help me and things like that. I have seen and also feel and believe that in the case of visually challenged, arranged marriage is not a good option to choose. A visually challenged person should always try to perform the love marriage, and these marriages are quite successful in our field. There is so much to write, but already lengthened mail and time don’t allow me to write anything. With regards, Akhilesh Kumar Dahiya, Advocate. Mobile: +91 9210616426 New Delhi. On 12/11/11, Dr Jalaja wrote: I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we can't lead a normal married life. RegardsJalaja - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started f
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
you are absolutely right! i did not say that one should not go for sighted partner, but, preferably don't go for sighted partner. keep it as the last option. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:45 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage But I think unfortunetly, it's a reality. Accept or not, But according to my view, it's very easy to cheet a VI person. Further, I also think that most of the time, the sighted partner thinks that "chalo isko cheet karna hamaray liye bohot hi aasan mamla hai. hum insay shadi karangay aur hum puranay relation me atakay rahay to isko kya pata chalega?". - Original Message - From: "Dr Jalaja" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:10 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we can't lead a normal married life. RegardsJalaja - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding all or most of my aspirations. but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married life. sorry for a longish mail. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but also in all
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
but, you can partially agree with me. - Original Message - From: "Dr Jalaja" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:10 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we can't lead a normal married life. RegardsJalaja - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding all or most of my aspirations. but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married life. sorry for a longish mail. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but also in all the developed nations too and it can't be change in one night. This is equally true that the situation is more critical for the blind women. With Regards B. R. Nautial - Original Message - From: "Sushmeetha" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 7:41 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Its easy for a guy to disclose & still get a wife, but its not possible for a lady to get a husband. As whatever we have achieved or however modernised we are, a man still looks his wife to be a good house wife only. Still my personal view is to disclose in the beginning & get rejected, than disclosing later and
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
i entirely agree with you. we should not make extreme opinions. the chemistry of a relationship is different between 2 couples--be it in marriage or in love. so painting all with same brush is a bit unfair. what, according to me, is most important is to keep faith in oneself and one's own judgements. i've related my story with you and i must admit that i was partly wrong in my decision making. i've accepted it and moved on in my life with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee,mobile:09433305139. On 12/12/11, Mujtaba Merchant wrote: > Hello Members, > > Looks like we are having a great debate on this topic. Sighted or not Male > or Female for everyone matrimony is a challenging affair. There is always a > quest to find the perfect partner. Here the definition of a perfect partner > is different from person to person. Some might define it as someone who is > good looking, rich or for someone else it might just be loving and caring. > In India marriage is not between individuals but between two families, > cultures and other undiscussable areas. Thus the couple must meet too many > expectations to be the perfect bride, bridegroom, husband, wife, son in law, > daughter in law, brother in law, sister in law etc... > > By now I am sure that you might have got the message on what I am trying to > tell you. Our disability does not add value in such a situation but is an > added challenge to the search for that perfect partner. It is definitely a > good practise to disclose the disability before marriage rather than > getting married and then being abandoned after the truth being found leading > to more emotional and social complications. It is a matter of personal > interest for every individual to think about matrimony after a certain age. > I will not call it discrimination when it comes to choosing a partner > because everyone has a comfort zone when it comes to company for the life. > Here choosing a sighted or non sighted partner should not be of any concern > as long as the individuals are comfortable with the arrangement and are > clear on what to expect and what not to expect in the beginning of the > relationship. No matter what we try we cannot curb the chances of a marriage > failing if it has to and was ment to end up a failure. After all, the > individuals are mature enough to decide what is the bigger picture in their > marriage and if their relationship means something to them they will follow > through no matter what challenges they as a couple face. Relooking through > the definition of marriage I think the Christian vows of matrimony sum it > all and they are as follows: Through sickness and Health, For better or > worse and till death do us apart. > > Enough said from me on this never ending debatable topic. I am no matrimony > guru or someone who can guide you to a perfect partner or life. I can just > share this note with you all and make you think more on the subject. So keep > those thoughts coming and wishing you all the best in your search for a > partner! > > Mujtaba Merchant > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] need folder lock software
Dear Sheikh Saheb, Aslamalequm. On pressing enter on the link given by your goodself, my Internet explorer gives an error message, saying: "Internet explorer has an encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry if you were in the middle of something. The information you were working on might be lost." So kindly guide me further. With Heartiest care and regards. Yogesh. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
[AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
Hello Members, Looks like we are having a great debate on this topic. Sighted or not Male or Female for everyone matrimony is a challenging affair. There is always a quest to find the perfect partner. Here the definition of a perfect partner is different from person to person. Some might define it as someone who is good looking, rich or for someone else it might just be loving and caring. In India marriage is not between individuals but between two families, cultures and other undiscussable areas. Thus the couple must meet too many expectations to be the perfect bride, bridegroom, husband, wife, son in law, daughter in law, brother in law, sister in law etc... By now I am sure that you might have got the message on what I am trying to tell you. Our disability does not add value in such a situation but is an added challenge to the search for that perfect partner. It is definitely a good practise to disclose the disability before marriage rather than getting married and then being abandoned after the truth being found leading to more emotional and social complications. It is a matter of personal interest for every individual to think about matrimony after a certain age. I will not call it discrimination when it comes to choosing a partner because everyone has a comfort zone when it comes to company for the life. Here choosing a sighted or non sighted partner should not be of any concern as long as the individuals are comfortable with the arrangement and are clear on what to expect and what not to expect in the beginning of the relationship. No matter what we try we cannot curb the chances of a marriage failing if it has to and was ment to end up a failure. After all, the individuals are mature enough to decide what is the bigger picture in their marriage and if their relationship means something to them they will follow through no matter what challenges they as a couple face. Relooking through the definition of marriage I think the Christian vows of matrimony sum it all and they are as follows: Through sickness and Health, For better or worse and till death do us apart. Enough said from me on this never ending debatable topic. I am no matrimony guru or someone who can guide you to a perfect partner or life. I can just share this note with you all and make you think more on the subject. So keep those thoughts coming and wishing you all the best in your search for a partner! Mujtaba Merchant Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Of course! fully agree with you! B. R. Nautial - Original Message - From: "Dr Jalaja" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:10 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we can't lead a normal married life. RegardsJalaja - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding all or most of my aspirations. but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married life. sorry for a longish mail. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but also in all the developed nations too and it can't be change in one night. This is equally true that the situation is more critical for the blind women. With Regards B. R. Nautial - Original Message - From: "Sushmeetha" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 7:41 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Its easy for a guy to disclose & still get a wife, but its not possible for a lady to get a husband. As whatever we have achieved or however modernised we are, a man still looks his wife to be a good house wife only. Still my personal view is to disclose in the beginning & get rejected, than disclosing l
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
Seems like there are many eligible men & women for marriage on this list itself but unfortunately there is no good platform to encourage interaction among them. I am told that efforts of many NGOs for VI in this arena has not yielded much result. The BEST Way to Read and Publish: http://www.daisy.org/get-involved -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of tkg Sent: 11 December 2011 21:39 To: accessindia@accessindia.org.in Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage hai friends the various message from the different parts of india it is realised that the problems in marriage is a big fact. in the modern society the criteria for mate selection is changing day by day even in the case of normal personthe youngergeneration have imaginationabout his partener like he must have employed with highsalary,goodlooking, the skill in driving etc.in this circumstances no one is give his or her life for an experiment the simple reason may lead to divorce. by gopi t k the medias should highlate the life of the family of disab . - Original Message - From: "Shadab Husain" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:00 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage > Hi Bhawani bhai, > > http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/ > Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html > > > A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court > calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned > person. > > Regards > > Shadab > > > On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: >> yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows >> interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other >> attraction. >> latter >> it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have >> many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. >> some >> of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family >> laws, there is no remedy for men. >> >> >> thanks. >> >> - Original Message - >> From: "ss sarfudeen" >> To: "accessindia" >> Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM >> Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage >> >> >>> Dear members. >>> >>> I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma >>> earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the >>> gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in >>> marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled >>> partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted >>> person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly >>> influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to >>> reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading >>> a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible >>> at all. >>> I am not saying this without any factual evidences. >>> >>> Regards >>> >>> Sultana. >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other >>> changes, please visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.o >>> rg.in >>> >> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.or >> g.in >> >> > > > -- > Develop your personality and English at > http://PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com/ > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, > please visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org > .in > > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. T
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Hello, I don't understand why the persons with disabilities prefer to marry with a sighted or the non disabled? I strongly believe that a blind person can understand the problem of a blind person better. Whatever I have seen in Delhi so far in 10 years, the trend is that the visually challenged do prefer to marry with a visually challenged only. I know so many girls who fear to marry with a sighted guy and vice versa. The points raised by Mr. Bhawani shankar are quite valid and real. Also, the number of cases of cheating by sighted partners with their blind partners as raised by Mr. Bhawani Shankar is quite high. Exceptions are always there, and this arena is not free from exceptions of cheating. However, exceptions can not be taken as examples or the guiding points. You are blind, and you’re not willing to accept a blind as your life partner then what kind of treatment and behavior you expect from society and non disabled community? This question seems important to me, because I see it as a “type of discrimination by blinds with blinds “, or some other interests such as she or he may be able to help me and things like that. I have seen and also feel and believe that in the case of visually challenged, arranged marriage is not a good option to choose. A visually challenged person should always try to perform the love marriage, and these marriages are quite successful in our field. There is so much to write, but already lengthened mail and time don’t allow me to write anything. With regards, Akhilesh Kumar Dahiya, Advocate. Mobile: +91 9210616426 New Delhi. On 12/11/11, Dr Jalaja wrote: > I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It > is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we > can't lead a normal married life. > RegardsJalaja > - Original Message - > From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" > To: > Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > > in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted > partners. whether is male or female. > > - Original Message - > From: "Rohiet A. Patil" > To: > Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > > I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in > the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? > - Original Message - > From: "ekinath ekinath" > To: > Cc: "B. R. Nautial" > Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > > I am struck! > Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. > > Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like > that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. > Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys > its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. > > I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and > marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes > normal life. > > I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and > unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can > compensate. > > Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in > relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again > normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. > > I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, > play or even show him the way. > > Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by > doing little good that u can. > > But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love > from my friends, family and kith kins. > > Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. > Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. > > > > > > On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: >> Dear Shadab bhai, >> >> you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a >> job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a >> farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually >> disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was >> junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally >> go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months >> after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply >> engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me >> who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but >> when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our >> affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other >> ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she >> called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual >> disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) >>
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
hai friends the various message from the different parts of india it is realised that the problems in marriage is a big fact. in the modern society the criteria for mate selection is changing day by day even in the case of normal personthe youngergeneration have imaginationabout his partener like he must have employed with highsalary,goodlooking, the skill in driving etc.in this circumstances no one is give his or her life for an experiment the simple reason may lead to divorce. by gopi t k the medias should highlate the life of the family of disab . - Original Message - From: "Shadab Husain" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:00 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Hi Bhawani bhai, http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned person. Regards Shadab On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other attraction. latter it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. some of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family laws, there is no remedy for men. thanks. - Original Message - From: "ss sarfudeen" To: "accessindia" Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in -- Develop your personality and English at http://PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com/ Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Regarding IAS coaching material and any Reasoning book
But it is requiring ignou enrolment no. which I do not have, what is the solution for that? On 12/11/11, Bikash J wrote: > friends, for IGNOU materials including Pub Ad just visitand > register in the following link! > > http://www.egyankosh.ac.in/ > > Hope it helps! > bikash > > > On 12/9/11, Umesha Economics wrote: >> I have heard about brilliant tutorials. they give study materials in print >> format. but I am not sure about quality. I have a print copy of agarwal's >> verbal reasoning. but its difficult to scan it with kurzweil. public >> administration material you can get if you have any current or past >> student >> of IGNOU. if there is anybody in the list, he/she can help. >> >> Umesha >> >> - Original Message - >> From: "Shona Man" >> To: "accessindia" >> Sent: Friday, December 09, 2011 11:07 AM >> Subject: [AI] Regarding IAS coaching material and any Reasoning book >> >> >>> Hi friends now a days after december I am planning to prepare >>> rigorously arduousIAS preparation, since I am a regular student >>> therefore it will be difficult to attend any regular coaching for this >>> purpose, still I want to take notes, weather in printed or in pdf >>> format from any coaching center. Can anybody tell me that which >>> coaching is providing the study material in accessible format or in >>> printed format and what is the fee for that. Members may share that >>> which coaching is better in this respect, remember I am talking about >>> prilims only. >>> Friends I want a good book upon verble and non verbal reasoning, if >>> anybody has reasoning book written by R.S Agrwal then can he/she share >>> with me? Can anybody tell me that from where can I get Public >>> administration ignou notes in accessible format? >>> any help in this regard will be much appretiated. >>> >>> >>> >>> -- >>> LL.M candidate >>> at Faculty of Law in University of Delhi >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >> >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- LL.M candidate at Faculty of Law in University of Delhi Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
friends, now marriage becomes more social than individual because individuals give much importance to social prevailence than individuals interest. individual desire totally neglecting and make compromise with society. marriage should be an attempt to satisfy individual desire. this world is think in terms ofsight not in terms of visual impairment. krishnan. - Original Message - From: "Dr Jalaja" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:10 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we can't lead a normal married life. RegardsJalaja - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding all or most of my aspirations. but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married life. sorry for a longish mail. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but also in all the developed nations too and it can't be change in one night. This is equally true that the situation is more critical for the blind women. With Regards B. R. Nautial - Original Message - From: "Sushmeetha" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 7:41 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' be
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Hello sir, I've seen in many cases VI are smarter than sighted people, On 12/11/11, Rohiet A. Patil wrote: > But I think unfortunetly, it's a reality. Accept or not, But according to my > view, it's very easy to cheet a VI person. > Further, I also think that most of the time, the sighted partner thinks that > "chalo isko cheet karna hamaray liye bohot hi aasan mamla hai. hum insay > shadi karangay aur hum puranay relation me atakay rahay to isko kya pata > chalega?". > - Original Message - > From: "Dr Jalaja" > To: > Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:10 PM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > > I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It > is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we > can't lead a normal married life. > RegardsJalaja > - Original Message - > From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" > To: > Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > > in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted > partners. whether is male or female. > > - Original Message - > From: "Rohiet A. Patil" > To: > Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > > I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in > the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? > - Original Message - > From: "ekinath ekinath" > To: > Cc: "B. R. Nautial" > Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage > > > I am struck! > Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. > > Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like > that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. > Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys > its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. > > I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and > marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes > normal life. > > I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and > unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can > compensate. > > Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in > relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again > normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. > > I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, > play or even show him the way. > > Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by > doing little good that u can. > > But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love > from my friends, family and kith kins. > > Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. > Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. > > > > > > On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: >> Dear Shadab bhai, >> >> you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a >> job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a >> farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually >> disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was >> junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally >> go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months >> after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply >> engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me >> who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but >> when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our >> affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other >> ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she >> called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual >> disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) >> >> she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents >> are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters >> as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the >> disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my >> parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding >> all or most of my aspirations. >> >> but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end >> of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such >> end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would >> continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married >> life. >> >> sorry for a longish mail. >> >> with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 >> >> On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: >>> oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the >>> ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in I
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
But I think unfortunetly, it's a reality. Accept or not, But according to my view, it's very easy to cheet a VI person. Further, I also think that most of the time, the sighted partner thinks that "chalo isko cheet karna hamaray liye bohot hi aasan mamla hai. hum insay shadi karangay aur hum puranay relation me atakay rahay to isko kya pata chalega?". - Original Message - From: "Dr Jalaja" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 8:10 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we can't lead a normal married life. RegardsJalaja - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding all or most of my aspirations. but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married life. sorry for a longish mail. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but also in all the developed nations too and it can't be change in one night. This is equally true that the situation is more critical for the blind women. With Regards B. R. Nautial - Original Message - From: "Sushmeetha" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 7:41 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
I can't agree with you fully. Cheating happens even if both are sighted. It is a matter of mutual trust in relations, and if the trust is not there we can't lead a normal married life. RegardsJalaja - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:41 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted partners. whether is male or female. - Original Message - From: "Rohiet A. Patil" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true in the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? - Original Message - From: "ekinath ekinath" To: Cc: "B. R. Nautial" Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage I am struck! Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes normal life. I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can compensate. Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, play or even show him the way. Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by doing little good that u can. But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love from my friends, family and kith kins. Note: My thoughts are just my personal views involving emotions. Apologise if I have invoked negative feelings in someone. On 12/10/11, Anirban Mukherjee wrote: Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding all or most of my aspirations. but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married life. sorry for a longish mail. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but also in all the developed nations too and it can't be change in one night. This is equally true that the situation is more critical for the blind women. With Regards B. R. Nautial - Original Message - From: "Sushmeetha" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 7:41 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Its easy for a guy to disclose & still get a wife, but its not possible for a lady to get a husband. As whatever we have achieved or however modernised we are, a man still looks his wife to be a good house wife only. Still my personal view is to disclose in the beginning & get rejected, than disclosing later and getting divorced. Regards Sushmeetha -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Shadab Husain Sent: 10
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
Hi Bhawani bhai, http://www.punemirror.in/article/62/2011091920110919183912700db7cb168/Gentle-men%E2%80%99s-club.html A club to combat Domestic Violence Act or as the hon'ble supreme court calls it, "legal terrorism". Please forward it to the concerned person. Regards Shadab On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: > yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows interest > on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other attraction. latter > it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have many > evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. some > of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family laws, > there is no remedy for men. > > > thanks. > > - Original Message - > From: "ss sarfudeen" > To: "accessindia" > Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM > Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage > > >> Dear members. >> >> I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma >> earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the >> gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in >> marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled >> partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted >> person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly >> influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to >> reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a >> happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at >> all. >> I am not saying this without any factual evidences. >> >> Regards >> >> Sultana. >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- Develop your personality and English at http://PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com/ Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
yes, you are right. at the beginning sighted or abled person shows interest on disabled person due to his/her job income or any other attraction. latter it gradually comes down and a disabled partner suffers a lot. i have many evidence but, it is unfair to disclose the personal lives to the list. some of them having dissolved married life. secondly, in our Indian family laws, there is no remedy for men. thanks. - Original Message - From: "ss sarfudeen" To: "accessindia" Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 6:39 PM Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Regarding IAS coaching material and any Reasoning book
friends, for IGNOU materials including Pub Ad just visitand register in the following link! http://www.egyankosh.ac.in/ Hope it helps! bikash On 12/9/11, Umesha Economics wrote: > I have heard about brilliant tutorials. they give study materials in print > format. but I am not sure about quality. I have a print copy of agarwal's > verbal reasoning. but its difficult to scan it with kurzweil. public > administration material you can get if you have any current or past student > of IGNOU. if there is anybody in the list, he/she can help. > > Umesha > > - Original Message - > From: "Shona Man" > To: "accessindia" > Sent: Friday, December 09, 2011 11:07 AM > Subject: [AI] Regarding IAS coaching material and any Reasoning book > > >> Hi friends now a days after december I am planning to prepare >> rigorously arduousIAS preparation, since I am a regular student >> therefore it will be difficult to attend any regular coaching for this >> purpose, still I want to take notes, weather in printed or in pdf >> format from any coaching center. Can anybody tell me that which >> coaching is providing the study material in accessible format or in >> printed format and what is the fee for that. Members may share that >> which coaching is better in this respect, remember I am talking about >> prilims only. >> Friends I want a good book upon verble and non verbal reasoning, if >> anybody has reasoning book written by R.S Agrwal then can he/she share >> with me? Can anybody tell me that from where can I get Public >> administration ignou notes in accessible format? >> any help in this regard will be much appretiated. >> >> >> >> -- >> LL.M candidate >> at Faculty of Law in University of Delhi >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] wireless modem not connecting to the access point
wireless software is not proper. perhaps it is Wireless atheros. - Original Message - From: "Jitendra Malik" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 1:43 PM Subject: [AI] wireless modem not connecting to the access point hi friends ofaccessindia, hope all are fine. i am wanting to replace my cable modem with wireless rouder. but my computer says, your wireless modem is not configured to connect to an accesspoint. i have c734 HP laptop with windows XP. i have downloaded wireless drivers from hp.com and reinstalled on to my machine, but it didn't help. any help in this regards would be much apriciated. with many thanks and best regards. jitendra Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
[AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage
Dear members. I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at all. I am not saying this without any factual evidences. Regards Sultana. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Depends the perspective. When I was 50% visually impired, I had a proposal with a guy with the same rate of disability. But he refused the proposal stating that it is not right to marry a disable person of the same nature. Another thing, even if we sincierly disclosed our disability, the society may not acccept. I had such two experiences. Once when my disability (at that time I had 50% vision in my right eye.), to a marriage broaker, though she praised my father for his honesty, some days it was informed that according to the broaker's own opinion, if a father himself disclosed the rate of disability, the rate will be even more and the proposal cannot be forwarded. Another time, even the proposal had reached to the level of meeting with the boy, but it was later informed that the proposal was rejected due to the fact that they were doubting about the chance of loosing the sight of the right eye too.(unfortunatly it happened later.) And, I remain unmarried thereafter. Renuka E., Section Officer, ICT Center for the Visually Challenged, CHMKLibrary, University of Calicut, Kerala. - Original Message - From: "BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA" To: Sent: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:36 AM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage it is my suggestion that a disabled person should prefer a disabled partner. the same disability should be given higher preffrence. - Original Message - From: "Anirban Mukherjee" To: "B. R. Nautial" ; Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:22 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Dear Shadab bhai, you have raised an issue which is a thing of my present life. i got a job at the age of 21 years and it was a farely good job and of a farely good salary in spite of my visual disability. i am visually disabled from my birth, in my college days, i met a girl who was junior to me by 1 year. she was interested in me but could not totally go for the relationship due to uncertainty of our future. but 3 months after my getting the job, she herself proposed me. we were deeply engaged. many a night i spent with her by talking over phone. it's me who inspired her to aspire for a job. she got one 2 years later. but when talks of her marriage began in her family, she disclosed our affair. but as soon as she was opposed emotionally and in all other ways, she started fumbling and a month after the disclosure, she called it quits with me. the reason she sighted was my visual disability. (my fingers stumbling as i type) she left me emotionally bancrupt. now, a few months later my parents are searching a bride for me but i've been refused from all quarters as soon as my disability was intimated, in spite of that i believe the disability should be clearly disclosed. anyway, now the attitude of my parents is to settle for whosoever agrees to accept me disregarding all or most of my aspirations. but still i sincerely believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. hope the light of my life would emerge from one such end of the tunnel. otherwise, the quest for freedom and light would continue in all possible ways. hope you will have a splendid married life. sorry for a longish mail. with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee, mobile: 09433305139 On 12/10/11, B. R. Nautial wrote: oh! this is the part of life, no need to disappoint. Since beginning, the ladies are struggling for their rights and equality not only in India but also in all the developed nations too and it can't be change in one night. This is equally true that the situation is more critical for the blind women. With Regards B. R. Nautial - Original Message - From: "Sushmeetha" To: Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 7:41 PM Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Its easy for a guy to disclose & still get a wife, but its not possible for a lady to get a husband. As whatever we have achieved or however modernised we are, a man still looks his wife to be a good house wife only. Still my personal view is to disclose in the beginning & get rejected, than disclosing later and getting divorced. Regards Sushmeetha -Original Message- From: accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Shadab Husain Sent: 10 December 2011 16:03 To: accessindia; unitee-education-c...@googlegroups.com Subject: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for me. I had insisted to have my visual 'disability' (as others call it) be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further or politely tendered their refusals. My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it difficult to tell me that I again am being
[AI] Setting Rules For Sending Mails From A Particular List To A Specific Folder In Outlook Express
Dear Experts, kindly oblige by sending step by step instructions as to how I can Receive Mails From A Particular person/group in a specific folder. I am using Windows X P Professional, S P 2, Office 2003, Outlook express. Please do oblige with your earliest guidance on this. With heartiest care and regards. Yogesh. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
[AI] Problem While Restarting The System
Hello friends, Some time back, when I used to try shutting down my system, the computer would generally hang while the screen continued to show "Windows Shutting Down". At that point, I mostly had to press the switch off/on button on the c p u cavenet. Only then would the system finally shut down and enable me to switch it on again. At that time I was using Windows x p professional, s p 3. After several system restores, my system did start to shut down properly, but the same problem would reoccur when I tried to restart the system. Later on, I formatted my c drive and installed Windows x p s p 2. But still, whenever I try to restart the computer, the computer is stuck at "windows shutting down". At that point I either have to press the reset button, or the off/on switch in order to get out of this problem temporarily. Please suggest some remedy, through which I can get rid of this nuisance. Hope you will oblige with an early solution. With care and regards. Yogesh. Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Avast Free antivirus password lost
No, I'm talking about the system password in Avast GUI. A few months back I've set the password to protect unauthorised access to avast application but now I don't remember Now I want to uninstall avast and install kaspersky which I kind of nicked it up on letsbuy.com for 200 bucks On 12/11/11, samuel rodrigues wrote: > well its not password, guess you're searching for avast Key? in case > you're searching for a key, guess if you take the help of google and > type register free avast, and get key or something like it on google, > you should manage to go to the registration page and register your > avast successfully. > Not heard of password in avast, perhaps will look up in a moment and > see what it really is. > Because free users in avast also get a key, by visiting the free users > registration page must try out, if you dont manage it yourself. > Samuel > > On 12/11/11, syed imran wrote: >> Anyone knows how to reset the password for Avast antivirus? I've forgotten >> mine. >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- -.-.-.-Faint heart never won fair lady_._._._._ Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
[AI] compairing 2 backup programs with nvda
hi all im using norton ghost 15 with nvda 2011.3 and its fully accessable i wanted to know is accarness true image accessable with nvda -- austin pinto email austinpinto.xavi...@gmail.com alternat email austin.pi...@hotmail.com facebook www.facebook.com/austinpinto.xaviers orkut www.orkut.com/austinpinto.xaviers twitter www.twitter.com/austinmpinto join me on google + surch for +austin Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Avast Free antivirus password lost
well its not password, guess you're searching for avast Key? in case you're searching for a key, guess if you take the help of google and type register free avast, and get key or something like it on google, you should manage to go to the registration page and register your avast successfully. Not heard of password in avast, perhaps will look up in a moment and see what it really is. Because free users in avast also get a key, by visiting the free users registration page must try out, if you dont manage it yourself. Samuel On 12/11/11, syed imran wrote: > Anyone knows how to reset the password for Avast antivirus? I've forgotten > mine. > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage
Hi shadab bhai I totally agree with you it depends on the nature of partner and the situation I know many couples which have both or at least one partner differently abled and they are leading very happy maried lives some examples can also be seen on our list as well regards On 12/11/11, Shadab Husain wrote: > Thanks a lot for your emails! Thanks a lot to Retina India that it > published my post. Some comments are with the original post at > http://retinaindia.blogspot.com/2011/11/of-disclosing-disability-before.html > > Hi Nautialji, thanks for the appreciation. > > Hi Ajay, thanks. Ya will try my best. > > Hi Vetri sir, thanks for your email. > > Hi Mahendra sir, thank you so much for your wishes. I have conveyed > your wishes to my wife. > > Hi Mujtaba bhai, really moved to read your story. It seems almost all > the blind have a touching story to tell. It requires a lot of nerves > to hope for the best after suffering so much, you are great. My best > wishes are with you. > > Hi Sushmita madam, Thanks for your email. > > Hi Anirban bhai, inspired to read your email. After being deceived in > love and repeatedly getting rejected, if your quest of light is on, it > is not a common bravery. I shall think about you when faced with > trouble to emerge. My best wishes are with you. > > Hi Salman bhai, there was a phase when I too used to think that how > will I manage the responsibilities that a marriage brings. But I am > married like thousands of other visually challenged people. And the > problems I used to fear from never realized. > > I feel afraid taking decisions for anyone else because it is a matter > of great responsibility. I would only say that had I been in your > place, I would have disclosed my eye condition to the girl. If she had > agreed, I would have married her. Else the search would have gone on! > Your unwillingness for marriage proves that you care for others and I > feel that this is a basic requirement for a good husband, not > eyesight. > > Hi Srinivasuji, thanks for your email. > > Hi Ekinath bhai, so nice. Reading your email I felt as if I would have > written just like you. The points of mobility and eye contact troubled > me too. But I feel that your other qualities can fulfill that need. > > I am written hundred per cent blind, though I can see light. Yet I > create a lot of noise with my sisters’ children and with the children > of my neighbours. They play with me, beat me, scold me, are afraid of > me, obey me, and enjoy. So do I. You are saying it would be difficult > for you to handle an active child because probably you have not > remained for long time with them. From the little I know, to enjoy and > handle children, one has to be cheerful which you already are (read > your excellent response to Rahul on socializing.) > > Hi Rohietji, Thanks. > > Hi Bhawani bhai, long time! Thanks. I too have heard that the blind > are being deceived after marriage. But the decision to marry a blind > or sighted rests on numerous conditions and is bound to vary from > person to person. > > With best wishes, > Shadab > PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com > > > On 12/11/11, BHAWANI SHANKAR VERMA wrote: >> in most of the cases a blind partner have been cheated by their sighted >> partners. whether is male or female. >> >> - Original Message - >> From: "Rohiet A. Patil" >> To: >> Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 11:03 PM >> Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage >> >> >> I think what you say regarding mobility and eye contact, is equally true >> in >> the contest of VI women also. Don't you think so? >> - Original Message - >> From: "ekinath ekinath" >> To: >> Cc: "B. R. Nautial" >> Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:55 PM >> Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'disability' before marriage >> >> >> I am struck! >> Let me start with congratulating Shadab, lucky indeed both the spouses. >> >> Can’t believe in a co-incidence of this topic just propping up like >> that. Just before opening my mail I was going through these thoughts. >> Well, I had couple of playful and couple of serous relations, but guys >> its time I think that I hang my heart to hooks. >> >> I am convinced that however of a hero you are. If u r blind and >> marrying a sighted girl, you wont be able to give her normal yes >> normal life. >> >> I think, normal mobility and eye contacts really matter and >> unfortunately we are helpless here. No technology, no training can >> compensate. >> >> Well, I assume that probably, life for VI woman would be better in >> relationships as girls don’t pick up their partners, and again >> normally the lead is usually a male in terms of driving, outing etc. >> >> I painfully imagine fathering an active kid which whom I can’t run, >> play or even show him the way. >> >> Therefore, think best thing is to seek pleasure in others happiness by >> doing little good that u can. >> >> But you got to go on, so i am. Hopes of substituting love with love >> fr
[AI] wireless modem not connecting to the access point
hi friends ofaccessindia, hope all are fine. i am wanting to replace my cable modem with wireless rouder. but my computer says, your wireless modem is not configured to connect to an accesspoint. i have c734 HP laptop with windows XP. i have downloaded wireless drivers from hp.com and reinstalled on to my machine, but it didn't help. any help in this regards would be much apriciated. with many thanks and best regards. jitendra Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
