This is a bittersweet time for President Bush. On one hand he is leaving
eight years of office with a very questionable record. On the other hand
he has a lot more time to play Guitar Hero."
- Alex Kaseberg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Smitty": My Dinners With Dubya
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/01/dubya-and-me200901
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"President Bush is enjoying retirement in Crawford, Texas, maybe not as
much as we are... Bush is not worrying about the country. No, it's like
he's still president."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
2009 Political Oscars
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/sc/2009/sc090126.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"RNC members decide they no longer like President Bush, just in time for
his no longer being president anymore."
- Josh Marshall
RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!!!
Backlash Against Bush Apparent in RNC
http://tinyurl.com/cp9wz4
As they begin meeting in Washington today, many members of the Republican
National Committee are focusing their ire against what they considered
George W. Bush's anti-conservative policies and trying to dump the man he
tapped to run the GOP.
With six candidates competing for the party's helm at the winter meetings
this week, some committee members are determined to remove the current RNC
chairman, Mike Duncan, who is seen as a candidate of the status quo at a
time when they want to sever all ties to the former president. Duncan has
held the office since 2007, when he ran unopposed after Bush chose him for
the post.
Duncan "has never criticized Bush when the president was wrong," said
Shawn Steel, an RNC member from California. "He's the agent of the
establishment, and we need a change in personnel." ...
Curly Haugland, a party member from North Dakota, said his opposition to
Duncan is tied to his selection by Bush rather than by the committee
members.
"Most of us strongly supported the Bush administration through the entire
two terms, but in the last few months, this bailout and the abandonment of
capitalism really kind of sealed it," he said. ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
What? You Thought We Meant It?!?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/wpnan/2009/wpnan090127.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"This news just came out. When President Bush flew home to Texas last
week, they apparently showed a video of his greatest accomplishments
during the flight. Yeah, word has it the video got them most of the way
through take-off."
- Conan O'Brien
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Everything Must Go!!!
http://www.allhatnocattle.net/Copy%20of%20Out-Of-Business-Small.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Former President Bush will receive a lucrative pension of nearly $197,000
this year. But don't get mad; if he manages his money like he managed the
economy of the country, he'll be out of it in a month."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Probably Take Awhile....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crmra/2009/crmra090126.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
September, 2003:
"A year from now, I'll be very surprised if there is not some grand square
in Baghdad that is named after President Bush."
- Richard Perle, Defense Policy Board
Well, he finally got his monument....
http://tinyurl.com/bunlye
"I looked George Bush in the eye, and I was able to get a sense of his
sole."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"This is kind of an awkward time for President Bush. He's too young to
retire, yet still too old to destroy the moral and economic infrastructure
of another country."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The Time Has Come....
http://www.bigmattress.com/weblog/wicked%20Lululemon%20window.html
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"There was a rare site in Washington on Tuesday as Pres. Obama walked the
halls of Congress in an effort to gather support for his economic bailout
package. If you'll recall, Pres. Bush never walked the halls of Congress;
he pedaled a little red fire engine."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
No, There Wouldn't Be....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/po/2009/po090128.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
55,000 LAID OFF MONDAY
http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/55_000_laid_off_monday
More than 55,000 Americans lost their jobs Monday, with companies such as
Caterpillar, Sprint, and Home Depot each laying off several thousand
workers. What do you think?
Sher Chamberlain, Unemployed
"Is that the last of the jobs? I'm getting really tired of having to hear
about layoffs all the time."
Brad Scharff, Systems Analyst
"Wait, people work at Home Depot? I've always just gone there, picked out
what I needed, then bought it at the self-serve register. Are you sure you
have the company name right?"
Travis Brooks, Customer Service Representative
"As a Sprint customer service rep, I react to the news with a mixture of
passive-aggression and moderate contempt just short of outright rudeness,
sir."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Hi-Ho! Hi-Ho!
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crgva/2009/crgva090127.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Starbucks is cutting 6,700 jobs... something that promises to be awkward
when all those laid off workers inevitably end up spending all day hanging
out at Starbucks."
- Jake Novak
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Headline of the Year:
Sprint To Give 8,000 Employees Unlimited Free Roaming Time
http://tinyurl.com/cxb2p6
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Harley-Davidson cut eleven hundred jobs Friday due to a slowdown in
motorcycle sales. It's another example of companies ignoring consumer
demands. They've had eighty years since the last depression to design a
motorcycle that people can live in."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
2009....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crjsh/2009/crjsh090127.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The porn industry is seeing an overall loss of revenue in a bad economy.
Some of the new titles are the result of cutbacks in production costs:
Debbie Does Lubbock."
- Alan Ray
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
ERROR 404: JOB NOT FOUND
http://cagle.com/working/090126/beeler.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"There should be an end point to all of this spending, say two years...
The plan was written by the Democratic majority in the House primarily. So
yeah, I think there has to be major rewrites, if we want to stimulate the
economy. I am opposed to most of provisions in the bill. As it stands now
I would not support it."
- Sen. John McCain [R-AZ], Former Pres. Candidate
Hey, tell ya what, Johnny.... you come up with another 97 electoral votes
and I'm sure they'll get right on that!
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Well, Republicans have found their voice; it sounds like "NO!"
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Tick Tock
http://us.cnn.com/POLITICS/analysis/toons/2009/01/28/mitchell/index.html
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Hey, Republicans:
You failed. Your ideology failed. Your economic theories failed, your
foreign policy failed, your theocratic social policies failed and your
theories of governing failed. Everyone knows this.... except...
apparently.... you.
- buhdydharma (DailyKos.com)
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Bipartisanship: Adopting Republican's Positions
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Holding The Ball....
http://cagle.com/working/090128/darkow.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Republicans have long been more concerned with electoral politics than
effective governance....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Obama said there are some legitimate philosophical differences between
Democrats and Republicans on how to stimulate the economy. Republicans
believe if he can stimulate Republicans, it will trickle down to
Democrats. Democrats don't want to be trickled on anymore."
- Joe Hickman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
At Least Someone's Adding Jobs....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmssa/2009/tmssa090126.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
As the Northeast braced for another winter storm this week, there were
mass quantities of flakes in the DC area.
But enough about the GOP....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Nothin' Doin'....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ta/2009/ta090129.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"As President-elect Bush has made very clear, he ran on a particular
platform that was very carefully developed. It's his program, it's his
agenda, and we have no intention at all of backing off of it. It's why we
got elected."
- VP-elect "Dick" Cheney, Dec. 17, 2000
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Okay, We Might Be A Little Late, But....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tt/2009/tt090129.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The Same Old Song
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/opinion/27herbert.html
What's up with the Republicans? Have they no sense that their policies
have sent the country hurtling down the road to ruin? Are they so divorced
from reality that in their delusionary state they honestly believe we need
more of their tax cuts for the rich and their other forms of plutocratic
irresponsibility, the very things that got us to this deplorable state?
..
The truth, of course, is that the country is hemorrhaging jobs and
Americans are heading to the poorhouse by the millions. The stock markets
and the value of the family home have collapsed, and there is virtual
across-the-board agreement that the country is caught up in the worst
economic disaster since at least World War II.
The Republican answer to this turmoil?
Tax cuts.
They need to go into rehab. ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Our Way Is Better....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmmda/2009/tmmda090128.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I really don't get it....
The Republican's plans to fix the Bush economic mess consists of pushing
through more of Bush's tried-and-failed economic policies....????
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"As the Stimulus Bill moves to the Senate, Republicans want more tax cuts,
less spending. After two Bushes and Reagan, Republicans talking about less
spending is like O.J. becoming an evangelist. It could happen, but I
wouldn't send a huge contribution."
- Joe Hickman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
What You Need Is....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/cwjmo/2009/cwjmo090129.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The GOP.... Grand (not), Old (definitely), Petty.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Shameless
http://tinyurl.com/dbccwk
Can someone explain to me why I'm seeing Republican after Republican on
television advising Americans on the right way to run the economy? Is
there any reason why we should listen to them sanctimoniously lecturing us
on "what's worked in the past" and telling us that the only way to cure
the problems they themselves created are to do more of the same? They've
always been known for chutzpah, but this takes the cake.
. . It would really be great if somebody, somewhere, could ask them why
they think anyone should take them seriously on these issues considering
the mess we are in today. I know that's a lot to ask during this time of
reconciliation but honestly, it's infuriating to see them swarm the
television and have to watch the media listen to their "analysis" and
swallow it whole. If I didn't follow politics closely, I would think these
people are the ones who won the election.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
If Republican'ts want to be against everything, why don't they just stay
home and save Americans the travel expense?
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
NEWS QUIZ
How long must Republicans wait before blaming the economic collapse on
Obama?
a) six months
b) eighteen months
c) yesterday
Hint: Can Fox spell "Obamaville?"
(IronicTimes.com)
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"A bakery in Greenwich Village was selling Drunken Negro Face Cookies.
Apparently, they were just catering for Fox News."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Oh, The Irony....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/bs/2009/bs090127.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
So, what is the Republican's preferred solution to Bush's economic mess?
You guessed it, folks: make the Bush tax cuts permanent....
Why add to the deficit to create jobs when you can add to the deficit to
mostly benefit the rich?
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Republicans understand compromise....
Their ethics have been compromised for decades.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
AIG Will Still Pay Swaps Team Retention Bonuses
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/01/27/business/AP-AIG-Bonuses.html
American International Group Inc. said it is paying retention bonuses as
planned to employees in the unit that sold credit default swaps, the risky
contracts that caused massive losses at the insurer.
According to news reports, approximately $450 million is being offered to
a group of about 400 employees in the financial products unit. That
averages to about $1.13 million per employee. ...
It's possible the retention bonus contract AIG made with its employees was
not revokable without expensive legal action, [compensation consultant
James] Reda said -- which brings up a shortcoming of the government's
Troubled Assets Relief Program, or TARP.
"In a bankruptcy, a judge has the ability to rip up agreements," Reda
said. "The TARP had no such piece."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he
gave it to."
- Dorothy Parker
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Still Can't Get A Loan?!?
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdho/2009/tmdho090128.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Business Bankruptcies Looming In 2009
http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/business_bankruptcies_looming
Thus far, 2009 is shaping up to be a tough year for businesses, with three
large companies--telecommunications giant Nortel, chemical company Tronox,
and Equal sweetener manufacturer Merisant Worldwide--having filed for
bankruptcy within the first two weeks of January. What other businesses
are on the brink of Chapter 11 and why?
Ann Taylor
Company over-projected demand for lingerie featuring large shoulder pads
Brink's
Truck carrying entire contents of company treasury was robbed
Enron
In-house accountants conceded that the company has been underperforming of
late
Suncoast Video
Though your local store has been gone for 10 years, they still haven't
filled its spot in the mall
Sunoco
Entrusted company leadership to a lady
Hanes
Tough times have caused people to immediately abandon their underwear
Sean John
After conquering the fashion and fragrance worlds, hip-hop mogul Sean
Combs' brand made a disastrous foray into pharmaceuticals
Eddie Bauer
Nuclear meltdown on Vermont–New Hampshire border eliminated 70 percent of
the company's customer base
Citigroup
Bet tens of billions of dollars that people with no verifiable income
could afford expensive houses, which, when you think about it, was pretty
stupid
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"McDonald's profits are up 80% during this recession. It appears we will
be the first country in history to get a big ol' lard ass in lean times."
- Alex Kaseberg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
It's Hard To Know....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tt/2009/tt090127.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Citigroup just got $45 billion of our tax dollars. Did you see what they
bought themselves? They spent $50 million on a brand new, French-made
private jet for their executives. Has a bar, private entertainment center,
seating for 12. You know, if there's ever a reason to reopen Guantánamo
Bay, this is it, okay."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
High-Flying Citigroup Grounds Plans For $50M Jet
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/Politics/story?id=6740011
The high-flying execs at Citigroup caved under pressure from President
Obama and decided today to abandon plans for a luxurious new $50 million
corporate jet from France.
The decision came 24 hours after the banking giant, which was rescued by a
$45 billion taxpayer lifeline, defended buying the state-of-the-art
Dassault Falcon 7X -- one of nine to be flying in U.S. skies -- as a smart
business deal. ...
ABC News has learned that on Monday officials of the Obama administration
called Citigroup about the company's new $50 million corporate jet and
told execs to "fix it." ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Good Public Relations
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/jd/2009/jd090127.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"So Citigroup was planning on using some of our bailout money to purchase
a new $50 million corporate jet. Where's a flock of Canadian geese when
you need them?"
- Janice Hough
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"On Wednesday, the House passed Pres. Obama's $819 billion stimulus
package on a 244-188 vote. No Republicans voted for the bill. Really, when
you think about it, can you think of anything less stimulating than a
Republican Congressman?"
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The Recession Game
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crmra/2009/crmra090129.gif
*********************************
Coming Soon To A Theater Near You....
BLAGONE WITH THE WIND
Starring Charlatan O'Hara and Wretch Butler
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