I think that, with all due respect, Mary Krueger has missed the point that Kathy was making. It is not that low self esteem causes women to be battered, it is what keeps them in the abusive relationship. Otherwise they would walk out after the first sign of violence - my personal experience and the experiences of hundreds of women that I have counselled bear this out. In my experience, the women just did not believe that they could make it on their own. They had been socialised to believe that without a man a woman is nothing so they had little if any belief in their ability to do anything without the man. Even if there was evidence to the contrary it was their perception of themselves that kept them tied to the abuser. Of course the abuse then deepens this belief. This does not mean that the "victim" is to blame, it just explains why she does not leave immediately. In my case, I left only when the power had shifted and I felt that I could survive on my own. I stayed for 13 years. For as long as I believed that I was nothing on my own, I could not leave.
Anu Pillay South Africa ***End-violence is sponsored by UNIFEM and receives generous support from ICAP*** To post a message, send it to: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To subscribe or unsubscribe, send a message to: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>. In the 1st line of the message type: subscribe end-violence OR type: unsubscribe end-violence Archives of previous End-violence messages can be found at: http://www.edc.org/GLG/end-violence/hypermail/
