> Well, it's impossible to know what's going on with you based on a few
> email messages but it definitely sounds like it could be a manic state to
> me--this sort of grandiosity and boundless confidence in one's own
> abilities and powers is common in mania.

Of course it is. But note that I'm not claiming any extraordinary powers -
I'm claiming that I know something ineffable, something I cannot explain
to you except by talking to you in person. And even then I can't explain
it - I can just explain part of it. You will have to figure out the rest
on your own. The thing is, the part I can explain is different for
different people. If I don't know what you believe about the world, I
can't make what I know make sense to you, because part of what I know is
literally not true, from your perspective. It's a paradox.

If I'm correct, then there are only two other people in my subjective
universe who can understand the paradox, and I can't even be sure which
people those two are. Because of the nature of the paradox. If I knew who
one of them was, I wouldn't be able to know who the other one was. It's
sort of like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.

Yes, it's exactly like the Heisenberg uncertainly principle. There are
three people in the universe who know what I know. If I interact with
somebody long enough to determine whether they know what I know, that sets
in motion a sequence of events that makes it impossible for me to know who
the other one is. I believe I know who they are, and I can't prove this
knowledge to either one of them without losing one of them. I think. It's
all very complicated, as I said.

> And having interacted with a friend in a manic state I would definitely
> say they can seem "fairly normal" if they choose to talk about
> subjects other than the grandiose and cosmic.

Because what we call "mania" is a manifestation of this same paradox in
somebody's psychology and/or brain chemistry, leading them to the eventual
resolution of the paradox in their subjective universe. They'll figure it
out eventually, although it may not appear that way to you.

> Have you been feeling particularly energetic or happy or "alive" lately?
> Any changes in your sensory experience, like colors and sounds seeming
> more vivid and beautiful? Do your body movements feel more coordinated,
> graceful, fluid?

No, none of that stuff.

> Would you consider the possibility that it is some kind of mental
> disorder if you tried to explain your ideas to some people in person and
> they didn't find your ideas coherent? Have you tried explaining them to
> anyone you know already?

Absolutely. And I've done so. Hell, I told a Catholic priest I was God and
I couldn't get him to admit that anything I was saying didn't make sense.
Although he wasn't sure what to do with the information. I sent email to
the pope last year asking politely what you were supposed to do to inform
the Catholic Church if you had a revelation from God, but I never got an
answer. Having been raised Catholic, I thought it fair to give them
another chance by asking a priest what I was supposed to do. He didn't
know. I talked to him twice. The first time, I couldn't explain it to him,
I just knew that I knew something important. The second time, I went into
more detail. I've figured some more stuff out, I'll probably talk to him
again. I'd rather talk to Richard Dawkins; it'd be easier to explain to

You'd think the church would have some kind of procedure for dealing with
revelations, but apparently they're not as organized as they appear. I
intend to fix that.

> And on this list Kevin Fischer offered to talk to
> you on Skype for half an hour, I don't know if that would qualify as
> sufficiently "in person" (if not, can you say what part of the world you
> live?)

Yes, but I don't have Skype. If installing Skype and talking to Kevin
Fischer turns out to seem to be the best thing to do, I'll do it then, if
he's still willing.

I live near Washington, DC, USA.
Mark Buda <her...@acm.org>
I get my monkeys for nothing and my chimps for free.

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