"Jokes about German sausage are the wurst."
On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > "When chemists die, they barium." > > > On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > >> "I tried to catch some fog. I mist." >> >> >> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams <[email protected]>wrote: >> >>> A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies >>> with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a >>> particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. >>> >>> When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in >>> the eye and said, >>> >>> "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas." >>> >>> >>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams >>> <[email protected]>wrote: >>> >>>> There were three Indian squaws. >>>> >>>> One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept >>>> on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two >>>> each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin >>>> had twin boys. >>>> >>>> This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal >>>> to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. >>>> >>>> >>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams >>>> <[email protected]>wrote: >>>> >>>>> A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name >>>>> missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to >>>>> the >>>>> local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have >>>>> taken Leif >>>>> off my census." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or >>>>>> Alzheimers (-: >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>> An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine >>>>>> man. >>>>>> >>>>>> After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin >>>>>> strip of >>>>>> elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, >>>>>> chew,and >>>>>> swallow one inch of the leather every day. >>>>>> >>>>>> After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was >>>>>> feeling. >>>>>> >>>>>> The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady >>>>>> lingers on." >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>> A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets >>>>>> and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as >>>>>> saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on." >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>> Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted >>>>>> to >>>>>> produce other products, and since they already made the cases for >>>>>> watches, >>>>>> they used them to produce compasses. >>>>>> >>>>>> The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or >>>>>> Mexico rather than California . >>>>>> >>>>>> This, of course, is the origin of the expression,"He who has a >>>>>> Tate's is lost!" >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>> A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins >>>>>> that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. >>>>>> >>>>>> One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap >>>>>> some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. >>>>>> >>>>>> Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he >>>>>> was >>>>>> arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for >>>>>> immortal porpoises. >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>> King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war >>>>>> with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the >>>>>> Euphrates, >>>>>> the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went >>>>>> to >>>>>> Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. >>>>>> >>>>>> Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it". >>>>>> >>>>>> "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you >>>>>> know >>>>>> who I am? I am the king!" >>>>>> >>>>>> Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference >>>>>> who you are." >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>> Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid >>>>>> bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed >>>>>> in a >>>>>> fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>> >> >
