"A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran."
On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > "Jokes about German sausage are the wurst." > > > On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > >> "When chemists die, they barium." >> >> >> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> "I tried to catch some fog. I mist." >>> >>> >>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams >>> <[email protected]>wrote: >>> >>>> A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies >>>> with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a >>>> particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. >>>> >>>> When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in >>>> the eye and said, >>>> >>>> "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas." >>>> >>>> >>>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams >>>> <[email protected]>wrote: >>>> >>>>> There were three Indian squaws. >>>>> >>>>> One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third >>>>> slept >>>>> on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two >>>>> each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin >>>>> had twin boys. >>>>> >>>>> This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal >>>>> to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his >>>>>> name >>>>>> missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to >>>>>> the >>>>>> local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have >>>>>> taken Leif >>>>>> off my census." >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or >>>>>>> Alzheimers (-: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine >>>>>>> man. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin >>>>>>> strip of >>>>>>> elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, >>>>>>> chew,and >>>>>>> swallow one inch of the leather every day. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was >>>>>>> feeling. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady >>>>>>> lingers on." >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets >>>>>>> and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as >>>>>>> saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on." >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted >>>>>>> to >>>>>>> produce other products, and since they already made the cases for >>>>>>> watches, >>>>>>> they used them to produce compasses. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada >>>>>>> or >>>>>>> Mexico rather than California . >>>>>>> >>>>>>> This, of course, is the origin of the expression,"He who has a >>>>>>> Tate's is lost!" >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered >>>>>>> dolphins >>>>>>> that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and >>>>>>> trap >>>>>>> some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he >>>>>>> was >>>>>>> arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for >>>>>>> immortal porpoises. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams < >>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war >>>>>>> with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the >>>>>>> Euphrates, >>>>>>> the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went >>>>>>> to >>>>>>> Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it". >>>>>>> >>>>>>> "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't >>>>>>> you know >>>>>>> who I am? I am the king!" >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference >>>>>>> who you are." >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid >>>>>>> bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed >>>>>>> in a >>>>>>> fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>> >> >
