Ha! Just what I needed. Too bad my kids have outgrown traditional Halloween.
---In [email protected], <punditster@...> wrote: "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it." On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: "I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime." On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: "A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran." On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: "Jokes about German sausage are the wurst." On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: "When chemists die, they barium." On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: "I tried to catch some fog. I mist." On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas." On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census." On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long <sharelong60@... mailto:sharelong60@...> wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on." On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on." On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,"He who has a Tate's is lost!" On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams <punditster@... mailto:punditster@...> wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it". "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are." On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
