"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it."
On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > "I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime." > > > On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > >> "A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned >> veteran." >> >> >> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> "Jokes about German sausage are the wurst." >>> >>> >>> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>> >>>> "When chemists die, they barium." >>>> >>>> >>>> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>> >>>>> "I tried to catch some fog. I mist." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies >>>>>> with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves >>>>>> of a >>>>>> particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. >>>>>> >>>>>> When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in >>>>>> the eye and said, >>>>>> >>>>>> "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas." >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> There were three Indian squaws. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third >>>>>>> slept >>>>>>> on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two >>>>>>> each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin >>>>>>> had twin boys. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is >>>>>>> equal >>>>>>> to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his >>>>>>>> name >>>>>>>> missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining >>>>>>>> to the >>>>>>>> local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have >>>>>>>> taken Leif >>>>>>>> off my census." >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long >>>>>>>> <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or >>>>>>>>> Alzheimers (-: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the >>>>>>>>> medicine man. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin >>>>>>>>> strip of >>>>>>>>> elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, >>>>>>>>> chew,and >>>>>>>>> swallow one inch of the leather every day. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was >>>>>>>>> feeling. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady >>>>>>>>> lingers on." >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the >>>>>>>>> toilets >>>>>>>>> and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as >>>>>>>>> saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on." >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts >>>>>>>>> wanted to >>>>>>>>> produce other products, and since they already made the cases for >>>>>>>>> watches, >>>>>>>>> they used them to produce compasses. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in >>>>>>>>> Canada or >>>>>>>>> Mexico rather than California . >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> This, of course, is the origin of the expression,"He who has a >>>>>>>>> Tate's is lost!" >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered >>>>>>>>> dolphins >>>>>>>>> that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of >>>>>>>>> seagulls. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and >>>>>>>>> trap >>>>>>>>> some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, >>>>>>>>> he was >>>>>>>>> arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions >>>>>>>>> for >>>>>>>>> immortal porpoises. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams < >>>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of >>>>>>>>> war >>>>>>>>> with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the >>>>>>>>> Euphrates, >>>>>>>>> the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he >>>>>>>>> went to >>>>>>>>> Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it". >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't >>>>>>>>> you know >>>>>>>>> who I am? I am the king!" >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no >>>>>>>>> difference >>>>>>>>> who you are." >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid >>>>>>>>> bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were >>>>>>>>> destroyed in a >>>>>>>>> fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>> >> >
