"I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime."
On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > "A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned > veteran." > > > On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > >> "Jokes about German sausage are the wurst." >> >> >> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> "When chemists die, they barium." >>> >>> >>> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: >>> >>>> "I tried to catch some fog. I mist." >>>> >>>> >>>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams >>>> <[email protected]>wrote: >>>> >>>>> A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies >>>>> with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of >>>>> a >>>>> particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. >>>>> >>>>> When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in >>>>> the eye and said, >>>>> >>>>> "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> There were three Indian squaws. >>>>>> >>>>>> One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third >>>>>> slept >>>>>> on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two >>>>>> each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin >>>>>> had twin boys. >>>>>> >>>>>> This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal >>>>>> to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his >>>>>>> name >>>>>>> missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining >>>>>>> to the >>>>>>> local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have >>>>>>> taken Leif >>>>>>> off my census." >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long >>>>>>> <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or >>>>>>>> Alzheimers (-: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the >>>>>>>> medicine man. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin >>>>>>>> strip of >>>>>>>> elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, >>>>>>>> chew,and >>>>>>>> swallow one inch of the leather every day. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was >>>>>>>> feeling. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady >>>>>>>> lingers on." >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the >>>>>>>> toilets >>>>>>>> and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as >>>>>>>> saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on." >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts >>>>>>>> wanted to >>>>>>>> produce other products, and since they already made the cases for >>>>>>>> watches, >>>>>>>> they used them to produce compasses. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada >>>>>>>> or >>>>>>>> Mexico rather than California . >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> This, of course, is the origin of the expression,"He who has a >>>>>>>> Tate's is lost!" >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams < >>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered >>>>>>>> dolphins >>>>>>>> that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of >>>>>>>> seagulls. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and >>>>>>>> trap >>>>>>>> some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he >>>>>>>> was >>>>>>>> arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for >>>>>>>> immortal porpoises. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams < >>>>>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of >>>>>>>> war >>>>>>>> with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the >>>>>>>> Euphrates, >>>>>>>> the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he >>>>>>>> went to >>>>>>>> Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it". >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't >>>>>>>> you know >>>>>>>> who I am? I am the king!" >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference >>>>>>>> who you are." >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid >>>>>>>> bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were >>>>>>>> destroyed in a >>>>>>>> fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>> >> >
