"Do you remember when President Obama was President-elect Obama and he said the
kids wanted a dog? Well, they've got a dog now. And they are going to be
formally introducing the dog. They chose three breeds, but two of them were
eliminated because of tax problems."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
He'll Be Back!
http://www.cagle.com/news/ObamaDog/images/darkow.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Obama's new pooch made the front page of the most important newspapers and
magazines in the world: Le Figaro in Italy, El Pais in Spain, and 101 Delicious
Recipes in North Korea."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The Obama's have a new puppy. Already, Fox News is attacking the dog. When he
pees, he leans to the left."
- Alan Ray
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Puppy Pundits
http://www.cagle.com/news/ObamaDog/images/rogers.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
WORLD'S STUPIDEST ARGUMENT
http://swampland.blogs.time.com/2009/04/15/worlds-stupidest-argument/
Bush flunkies trying to argue that Obama is more polarizing than Bush was Given
the fact that Obama had to take dramatic action, at home and abroad, to start
lifting the country from the mess Bush made almost everywhere--and also begin
to turn the country away from the myopia and greed of the Reagan era--it's
amazing that he hasn't raised more dust or teabags. And, I should add the fact
that the alleged polarization mostly results from the fact that Obama gets
extremely low ratings from self-identified Republicans, who constitute an
extremist shard of a party at this point, is a badge of honor. (Commenter
sgwhiteinfla points out that the polarization is also the result of
overwhelming--88%--support from Democrats.)
In the long run, it's a safe historical bet that Bush will prove more
polarizing than Obama because he was such an abject failure in the job--I doubt
we'll ever see Obama submerge to approval ratings in the mid-20s, or launch
wars peremptorily without cause or purpose. The constant sniping from Rove,
Wehner and the others during Obama's first 100 days is a deeply neurotic
reaction to the enormity of their own cockups in office. It shows a profound
lack of class or grace, but then, that's no surprise with these guys, is it?
They ran the country like thugs, and thugs they remain.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"I heard this coming out here a few minutes ago. Apparently, Rush Limbaugh's
dog said it hopes that Obama's dog fails."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"There was some nice news this week. The Obamas got a new dog. It's a
Portuguese water dog named Bo. Now, don't confuse that with what Dick Cheney
had. That was a waterboarding dog. That was totally different."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Bo arrived just in time, because Sasha and Malia were getting tired of
throwing Frisbees at Joe Biden."
- Jimmy Fallon
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The First Dog
http://www.cagle.com/news/ObamaDog/images/stahler3.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"A new dog in the White House. I believe there hasn't been a dog in the White
House since that pack of semi-domesticated wolves that Cheney kept in his
dungeon."
- David Letterman
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Change The Channel....
http://cagle.com/working/090414/stein.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"The big story is that the Obamas got their new puppy! How about that, huh? On
Fox News, they declared that the dog is a Muslim socialist."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Nobody Said It'd Be Easy!
http://www.cagle.com/news/ObamaDog/images/margulies.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
REMARKS ON THE AMERICAN RECOVERY AND REINVESTMENT ACT
http://tinyurl.com/ddg9g2
President Obama:
. . It has been nearly three months since I first took office, and I think
it's fair to say that we've been busy. Faced with an extraordinary economic
crisis, we've responded with extraordinary action -- action that's both
unprecedented in scale and unprecedented in its speed. ...
Today, because these projects are getting approved more quickly than we
thought, thanks to in large part the outstanding work of the TIGER team and
folks here at the Department of Transportation, and because these projects are
costing less than we thought, we can utter a sentence rarely heard in recent
years: This government effort is coming in ahead of schedule and under budget.
...
.. today, I'm proud to announce that we have approved the 2000th project -- a
project to widen an interstate and rebuild an overpass in Portage, Michigan,
improving safety, reducing congestion and boosting local businesses. ... Now,
some may have thought it would take months to get to this point. But in part
because of the hard work and commitment of the people in this department, we
approved these 2,000 projects in just 41 days. ..
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
It's Based On....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=8ecaf49f7633e0530fb41f8d87e75945
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Fox News' Glenn Beck announced a comedy tour with six performances beginning
in June. John McCain did a comedy tour with three performances last year; only
then they were called Presidential Debates."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING, April 14, 2009
http://tinyurl.com/dz89fm
Q: Tomorrow is tax day and a number of conservative groups are organizing these
so called "tea parties" across the country; there are going to be grassroots
uprising revolts against the administration's policies so far. Is the President
aware that these are going on and do you have any reaction to this?
MR. GIBBS: I don't know if the President is aware of the events. I think the
President will use tomorrow as a day to have an event here at the White House
to signal the important steps in the economic recovery and reinvestment plan
that cut taxes for 95 percent of working families in America, just as the
President proposed doing; cuts in taxes and tax credits for the creation of
clean energy jobs.
We'll use tomorrow to highlight individual and instances in families that have
seen their taxes cut and I think America can be -- Americans will see more
money in their pockets as a direct result of the Making Work Pay tax cut that
the President both campaigned on and passed through Congress
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Speaking Out.... w/BALLS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkOwsIIIe5I
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"On Monday, a guest on Glenn Beck's Fox News show passed out as he was
discussing why American companies are going bankrupt. I can relate; I get sick
and pass out every time I watch that show, too."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
He'll Learn....
http://cagle.com/working/090415/bagley.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Do they really not see the loons they have become?
Anti-Tax 'Tea Party' Could Draw Crowd To Downtown Syracuse
http://tinyurl.com/dgfgpw
Joanne Wilder has never protested anything in public before. She's never boxed
with City Hall, let alone Washington.
"I've been a quiet little person my whole life," she said.
But today in downtown Syracuse, the 60-year-old great-grandmother will lead a
Tax Day Tea Party protest against the spending policies of the Obama
administration and Congress. ...
Wilder and [organizer Jim] Smith said the events are not political, not aimed
solely at Obama or the Democrats in Congress.
"This is not a Democratic problem. Not a Republican problem. It's all of them
together," Wilder said.
They concede they did not publicly object as the federal budget deficit soared
during the Bush administration.
"President Bush kept me safe," Wilder said as an explanation. ...
After a lifetime of working, paying taxes and raising three children on her
own, Wilder is struggling.
She said she retired on disability from M&T Bank three years ago after
undergoing knee replacement and back surgeries. She lives on her Social
Security and disability benefits. Last year, she petitioned the bankruptcy
court for protection from creditors.
She said she did not have to pay federal income taxes last year because her
income was too low.
"I don't want to see this country turn into a welfare, nanny state, where we
stand in line for groceries, and we're in welfare lines, and in socialized
medicine lines," Wilder said. ...
Americans need safety nets, but Obama and Congress are pushing programs that
foster dependency and weaken capitalism, said Smith, who acknowledged he
collected food stamp benefits for a few months last year.
"Obama is horribly divisive," Smith said.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
So, they'll gladly accept "socialized" benefits, but.... don't want anyone to
pay for them?
I'm so-o-o-o-o-o-o-o confused!!!!
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"I earned my welfare, not like those other folks!"
- Ms. B.S. Teabagger III
Sounds like she needs a tax cut....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Obama is horribly divisive," Smith said.
Yeah, the most popular president in recent memory "is horribly divisive"...
What the guy meant to say is that "Obama is horribly black."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Fox News reported on Tuesday how some housewives are moonlighting as strippers
due to the economy. Many of their families have no idea. The kids are never
going to find out about it until their moms show up to pay their college
tuition in singles."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Florida plans to require state residents to pass a drug test before they
receive unemployment checks. On the bright side, Florida is now hiring
thousands of out-of-work residents to give drug tests to people getting
unemployment checks."
- Jake Novak
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"According to the U.S. Labor Department, because of the recession, the number
of unemployed lawyers in this country has hit a ten-year high. So, see, there
is a silver lining in all of this."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
FAILURES TO COMMUNICATE
http://tinyurl.com/d2uwyn
Former president George W. Bush and some of his White House aides are gathering
in Dallas this week to plan the future George W. Bush Policy Institute. There,
I guess, they will ponder grand themes and marble foyers, but I propose they
begin by simply renaming the place. I suggest naming it the "George W. Bush
Institute of Management Failure" and dedicating it to studying how this
presidency went so wrong -- a task as big as Texas itself. ...
What commends the Bush presidency to further study was its sheer managerial
ineptitude. This is irony aplenty for a man not known for irony. Bush's one
area of expertise, after all, supposedly was in management. Not only had he
been a businessman, but he had graduated from Harvard Business School. Bush was
the Decider. He was a delegator. He was precise and punctual -- early to the
office, early out of the office and a clean desk at all times. Wow! ...
The Bush Institute of Management Failure should also look into how the
administration was so late in noticing that the country was slipping into a
profound recession. This should be coupled with a look-see at how Bush's
various appointees failed to regulate the banking, insurance, housing and
mortgage industries. (Have I mentioned Hurricane Katrina and "Brownie, you're
doing a heck of a job?" No? Just as well.) ...
Bush's presidency -- rich in lessons -- should keep everyone occupied deep into
the night. If it's not too late -- and especially for those already critical of
Barack Obama -- let me suggest dessert.
How's humble pie?
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Since Leaving Washington....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=36059afbe1a9bf536d48b7fb2c314355
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Former President George W. Bush hosted a reunion dinner Monday night in Dallas
with some of his top members of the Bush administration. Of course, like
always, Michael Brown, former head of FEMA arrived late.
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Jeb Bush began giving political interviews last weekend, spurring rumors he
may run for president. Conservatives were overjoyed on talk radio.
Conservatives are like alcoholics in their persistent delusion that the next
Bush, it's going to be different."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Parishioners at a church in Sweden celebrated Easter with the unveiling of a
6-foot tall statue of Jesus made out of Legos... People in the pews didn't feel
nearly so bad when they filled the collection plate with Monopoly money."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Now, That Makes Sense!!!
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyEconSolution.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"A group of American Airlines ground employees stopped working yesterday and
staged an angry protest over the company's executive pay. During the protest,
American passengers reported a 57% decrease in stolen luggage."
- Jake Novak
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Experts are saying car sales are down this year, but marijuana sales are up.
So today, General Motors introduced a new car made of weed, the Plymouth
Doobie."
- Craig Ferguson
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Lawmakers in Nevada have rejected a proposed prostitution tax that would charge
customers five dollars on each sex act...
- Working girls find this kind of taxation very hard to swallow.
- It doesn't seem right that a prostitute would collect the five dollar tax. I
mean, she'd just go out and blow it.
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
COLEMAN TO APPEAL RULING
http://www.staugustine.com/stories/041509/nation_041509_023.shtml
Norm Coleman will appeal the court decision awarding the U.S. Senate election
to Al Franken, Coleman's chief legal spokesman said Tuesday.
Ben Ginsberg said the appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court probably will be
filed next week, to give the Coleman campaign's lawyers a chance to fully
digest the 68-page opinion that the three-judge panel handed down late Monday
afternoon.
Coleman has 10 days to file the appeal.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Let Me Rephrase That....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=2729fb413488ade6a4df751c4573e42b
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Norm Coleman.... first he lost an election to a Wrestler, and now to a Comedian.
That's right, he lost elections to both Jesse Ventura and Al Franken. No one
else can say that.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Tyra Banks got Bristol Palin's boyfriend Levi Johnston to discuss sex details
of their love life in the Alaska governor's home. It was a sad spectacle. By
the end of the show the only person in Alaska who's still innocent was Senator
Ted Stevens."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is rumored to be interested in joining a
reality show. I believe the title is 'Dancing with the Truth'."
- Janice Hough
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Newt Gingrich is warning Republicans that a third party could take shape for
the 2012 elections if the GOP doesn't 'shape up'... That's right; the party of
Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh is telling other people that THEY need to
'shape up'."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
A Reticent Justice Opens Up to a Group of Students
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/us/14bar.html
Justice Clarence Thomas has not asked a question from the Supreme Court bench
since Feb. 22, 2006. He speaks only to announce his majority opinions, reading
summaries in a gruff monotone. Glimpses of Justice Thomas in less formal
settings are rare.
But he turned up in a Washington ballroom the other night to respond to
questions from the winners of a high school essay contest. His answers and the
remarks that preceded them provided a revealing look at Justice Thomas's
worldview these days. ...
"... how can you not reminisce about a childhood where you began each day with
the Pledge of Allegiance as little kids lined up in the schoolyard and then
marched in two by two with a flag and a crucifix in each classroom?" ...
The evening was devoted to the Bill of Rights, but Justice Thomas did not
embrace the document, and he proposed a couple of alternatives.
"Today there is much focus on our rights," Justice Thomas said. "Indeed, I
think there is a proliferation of rights."
"I am often surprised by the virtual nobility that seems to be accorded those
with grievances," he said. "Shouldn't there at least be equal time for our Bill
of Obligations and our Bill of Responsibilities?" ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Wow, talk about your "activist judges"! Last time I looked, the Constitution
DID contain a Bill of Rights, but DID NOT contain any sort of Bill of
Obligations or Bill of Responsibilities.... has something changed?!?
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Clarence Thomas's Amendment I
"Congress shall make no law respecting an exemption from attendance at weekly
church services, or discouraging the exercise thereof; or abridging the
obligation to speak platitudes, or of the press to support Real American
perspectives; or the obligation of the people peaceably to teabag, and to
petition the liberal media and activist judges for a redress of grievances."
Clarence Thomas's Amendment II
"You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers."
Clarence Thomas's Amendment III
"Soldiers shall be quartered in any home in accordance with the number of spare
bedrooms, or when foreclosure is imminent, or when regular monthly payments are
in arrears at least 60 days, and cleaning and repair expenses shall be shared
by all parties, save that soldiers must wipe their feet upon entering,
especially if it's raining, or the ground is muddy from recent precipitation or
sewer leaks."
Clarence Thomas's Amendment IV
"Anyone who refuses a search shall be presumed guilty. Why wouldn't they allow
us to search if they have nothing to hide?"
Clarence Thomas's Amendment V
"It doesn't matter if what you might say may lead to your prosecution. We don't
care; we don't have to."
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
(Actual) 9th Amendment, Bill of Rights, U.S. Constitution
"The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed
to deny or disparage others retained by the people."
So, looks to me like the 9th Amendment states that rights exist IN ADVANCE OF
and INDEPENDENT OF the Constitution....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"This Supreme Court finds 5-4 in favor of the Shamwow being amazing!"
- Justice Clarence "Uncle" Thomas
******************************
That's Okay, Don't Clean It Up....
http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=0a32de7179192b639619c77f721a3523
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