"Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal gave the Republican response to President Obama's
recent speech to Congress. But Jindal did not get good reviews. I don't know if
you saw it. I don't want to say Jindal seemed awkward and off message, but his
Secret Service code name is now 'Joe Biden'."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The Republican Plan
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crbbe/2009/crbbe090304.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"When it comes to jobs, the budget, children's health care and other issues,
House Republicans have offered what we believe are better solutions to the
problems facing middle-class families and small businesses."
- Rep. John Boehner [R-OH], House Minority Leader
http://tinyurl.com/aksyat
Apparently, someone forgot that there was an election on Nov. 4th last year....
and the American people rejected the solutions offered by the "Party of No".
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"I have three issues with Obama's budget."
- Rep. John A. Boehner [R-OH]
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/images/boehner-full-blog.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Some say Obama is arrogant. Yeah, but he's smart. We already tried arrogant
and stupid. And that didn't work."
- Will Durst
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
It's Insulting!!!
http://www.wwl.com/Obama-beer-sparks-controversy/3951383
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"According to Nielsen Media Research, Fox News' ratings went up 28 percent
since the beginning of the year. You know that in time of serious economic
crisis people tend to search for comedy."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
The Spin, It Begin....
http://cagle.com/working/090228/bors.jpg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I voted for Obama because he's the kind of guy I could sit down and share a
beer and arugula salad with....
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"A leader is someone who helps improve the lives of other people or improve the
system they live under."
- Sam Houston
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"President Obama officially named Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas as his
choice for health secretary. Her first order of business will be to find a cure
for peanut butter."
- Paul Seaburn
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Make It Quick....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crmth/2009/crmth090227.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
86.7 Million Americans Uninsured Over Last Two Years
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/04/uninsured.epidemic.obama/
One out of three Americans under 65 were without health insurance at some point
during 2007 and 2008, according to a report released Wednesday.
The study, commissioned by the consumer health advocacy group Families USA,
found 86.7 million Americans were uninsured at one point during the past two
years.
Among the report's key findings:
- Nearly three out of four uninsured Americans were without health insurance
for at least six months.
- Almost two-thirds were uninsured for nine months or more.
- Four out of five of the uninsured were in working families.
- People without health insurance are less likely to have a usual doctor and
often go without screenings or preventative care. ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Healthcare"? BS....
Let's call the corporate insurance scam what it really is: Deathcare™
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
I Never Thought....
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/tmdho/2009/tmdho090303.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"According to a new study by a Harvard Business School professor, when it comes
to online pornography, 8 of the top 10 porn-consuming states voted Republican
in 2008. Republicans watch more pornography than Democrats. So, apparently,
while they were voting for McCain, they were fantasizing about Sarah Palin."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers
http://tinyurl.com/akrwhz
Americans may paint themselves in increasingly bright shades of red and blue,
but new research finds one thing that varies little across the nation: the
liking for online pornography.
A new nationwide study (pdf) of anonymised credit-card receipts from a major
online adult entertainment provider finds little variation in consumption
between states.
"When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than
different," says Benjamin Edelman at Harvard Business School.
However, there are some trends to be seen in the data. Those states that do
consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states
with lower levels of consumption, the study finds.
"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very
things they claimed to be outraged by," Edelman says. ...
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Red State vs. Blue State
http://us.cnn.com/POLITICS/analysis/toons/2009/03/02/mitchell/
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"According to researchers from Harvard Business School, the state with the
highest number of porn subscribers is Utah. I guess when you start getting
tired of wife number nine you need to resort to a different kind of
stimulation."
- Pedro Bartes
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Republicans Threaten to Block Obama's Judges
http://tinyurl.com/b9mshb
In a letter released yesterday, all 41 Senate Republicans threatened to
filibuster President Obama's judicial nominees unless they were given veto
power over judges from their states. The letter also demanded that President
Obama renominate Bush nominees like Peter Keisler, Glen Conrad and Paul Diamond.
"The Republicans are doing everything in their power to cement their reputation
as the 'Party of No,'" said People For the American Way President Kathryn
Kolbert. "Voters gave President Obama a mandate to appoint judges who
understand that the Constitution and the laws provide for equal justice for
all. Now, before a single nomination has been announced, Republicans are
threatening to block every single one of Obama's nominees. That's chutzpah." ...
--------
Seems the Republicans forgot about the 'Nuclear Option'....
http://tinyurl.com/as23t
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Did you ever notice how the media reports that, in a Republican controlled
Senate, "legislation is blocked by the Democrats", and in a Democratic
controlled Senate, "Democrats fail to get 60 votes"?
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
It's As Plain As....
http://cagle.com/working/090227/heller.gif
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Meghan McCain, John McCain's daughter, said she's tired of constantly dating
guys who are obsessed with how great her father is. Fortunately for her, she
already dated all three of them."
- Jimmy Fallon
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"John McCain's daughter Meghan said Monday that her dad's presidential campaign
ruined her love life. Her father is a powerful U.S. senator and her mom owns a
huge Budweiser distributorship. For some reason all she attracts are lobbyists
and drunks."
- Argus Hamilton
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Heads I win, tails doesn't count....
COLEMAN CAMP ASKS THAT ELECTION RESULT BE 'SET ASIDE'
http://www.startribune.com/politics/40556467.html
For more than a month, Norm Coleman stressed flaws in Minnesota's election
system.
And on Monday, Coleman lawyer Jim Langdon wrote the three-judge panel to
suggest the problems are so serious they may not be able to declare a winner.
"Some courts have held that when the number of illegal votes exceeds the margin
between the candidates -- and it cannot be determined for which candidate those
illegal votes were cast -- the most appropriate remedy is to set aside the
election," Langdon wrote in a letter to the court. ...
Coleman rested the bulk of his case as the trial entered its sixth week.
Franken's side of the trial is likely to last two to three weeks, Elias said.
Franken holds a 225-vote lead that he gained after the state Canvassing Board,
on Jan. 5, certified the results of a recount.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Just because Mr. Coleman is not happy with the results of the election/recount
doesn't mean he gets to schedule another one."
- Jim Manley, Spokesman for
Sen. Harry Reid [D-NV], Senate Majority Leader
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Ex-Ill Gov. Rod Blagojevich has signed to write a tell-all book. The working
title is: 'Lather, Rinse, Lie, Repeat'."
- Alex Kaseberg
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Ousted Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has made a deal to write a book But
anyone wanting to read it will first have to make a $10,000 campaign donation."
- Jake Novak
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
Rod Blagojevich, the former Governor of Illinois, has signed a six figure book
deal, due to go on sale in October (just in time for Halloween).
He's been trying to come up with a title (and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
is already taken).... here are some ideas that might help:
- This Book is Bleeping Golden
- Buy This Book & No One Gets Hurt
- The Gospel According to St. Rod
- I Did It For The Children
- Would You Believe....?
- Greed Is Good!
- I Was Impeached So Your Sins Could Be Forgiven
- Don't Cry For Me Land of Lincoln
- I Had Hell Toupee
- How To Eat on A Governor's Salary
- Where's Mine?
- Oops
- Are You There God? It's Me, Rod
Up next, on the internet: Rod Blag's Fraud Blog
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"It is now being reported that former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich has signed
a six-figure deal to write a book. See, it took him a while to sign the book
deal, because, like everything else in his life, he was waiting for the highest
bidder."
- Jay Leno
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
ILLINOIS CORRUPTION TIMELINE
http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/illinois_corruption_timeline
The controversy surrounding Illinois senator Roland Burris is only the latest
chapter in a long history of political corruption in the Land of Lincoln. Here
is a partial timeline of scandals that have plagued the state.
1865: Birthplace of Abraham Lincoln moved from its original location in Kentucky
1871: The Great Chicago Fire spreads quickly after every firehouse in the city
is discovered to be either empty or manned by incompetent, low-paid chimpanzees
1913–1917: Renowned for his moral rectitude, Gov. Edward "Upstanding Ed" Dunne
embezzles just $55,000 while in office
1956: Chicago mayor Richard J. Daley shifts the proposed interstate route to
separate his neighborhood from the adjoining black neighborhood, but has it jog
slightly to the left to keep a favorite pie restaurant on his side
1983: Chicago City Council member Bernard Stone stirs up opposition to
African-American mayor Harold Washington in a rousing speech beginning with the
famous words, "In my day..."
1995: U.S. Rep. Dan Rostenkowski starts practice of going up to random people,
saying "Nice watch," and hanging around for a while
2003: After being dared by a group of visiting mayors, a drunken Mayor Richard
M. Daley orders downtown Chicago airport Meigs Field torn up in the dead of
night, just to prove he can
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich has signed a six figure deal to write a
book about the "dark side of politics" he recently witnessed on both state and
national levels... the $29.95 price will include a pair of rubber gloves and a
nose plug."
- Jerry Perisho
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
"Exposing the dark side of politics"....
Hey, they always say, write what you know.
=--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--= =--=
'Name That Blago Book' Contest
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-090304-blago-book-poll,0,7121531.poll
What title would you give ex-Gov. Rod Blagojevich's new book? (These choices
selected from more than 1,000 submissions.)
[ ] God is My Comb Pilot
[ ] Dr. Strangegov: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the F-Bomb
[ ] Lonesome Gov
[ ] Prosecution Exhibit Number 1: The Defendant's Confession
[ ] The DeLeo Codes
[ ] From Hair to Profanity
[ ] Rod and the Giant Impeach
[ ] Illinois Elvis: Just a Hunk, a Hunk of [Bleeping] Gov
[ ] The Grapes of Graft
[ ] They Paid Me a [Bleeping] Bucket of Cash to Write This [Bleeping] Book
*******************
At The Book Signing
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/crcbr/2009/crcbr090304.gif
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