--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, off_world_beings <no_re...@...> wrote: > > Amazing, Curtis says he used to be one of the control freaks > at MUM that everyone stayed away from, and now he and Turq's > only place left to feel they are important is on FFL. Get a > life old men. Everyone is STILL staying away from control > freaks, decades after most of them left the TMO, or simply > changed their personalities. Curtis and Turq are some of > the few still holding out for attention.
Sounds like projection to me. I don't know about Curtis, but I know that for myself "attention" is the last thing I seek. Here or elsewhere in my life. I spent too many years learning the deleterious effects of people focusing their attention on you to fall for that cheap high. But the fascinating thing is that we know that there are several people on this forum who will *always* "pay attention" to us. They will read *every line* of *every post* we make, searching desperately for something they can pounce upon to slam us or to spring- board off of in an attempt to -- you got it -- seek more attention for themselves. That's you, Off. And Judy. And ed11. Emptybill and others do the same thing with Vaj. Lawson "moved on" months ago, and now seems healthier in all ways, and his posts are now a delight to read because he's Just Being Him- self, and that self is pretty charming. People read his posts now whereas they might not have in the past precisely because he *isn't* seeking attention. It seems to me that if anyone other than the ones I mention above read Curtis' and my posts, it's because they enjoy them. Cool, I guess. My suspicion is that neither Curtis nor I give much of a flying fuck about that. If there is anything enjoyable in our posts, it's there because we don't try to put it there. We write here because we *enjoy the process* of writing, the "working out" of ideas, the "bouncing them off the wall" of other people's minds. Compare and contrast to those who compulsively Google things to *appear* knowledgeable about things they really aren't. Compare and contrast to the ones whose only joy on this forum (and sadder, possibly only joy in life) is trying to find some new way to slam one of their "enemies." Me, I'll stick with just writing for the fuck of it, thanks. I don't write "for the audience" and I don't write "for attention." I write because it's FUN. Those on this forum who perceive that FUN in my posts probably enjoy them the most; those who see in my posts only a mechanism for trying to get some attention focused on them see ...uh...something else, some way to fill a *lack* in their lives. I can't help but think that I've got a better deal goin' for me than they have. I think that what's happening lately is that the control freaks are starting to realize that they *don't* have any control over who appreciates them and who doesn't. And because they *can't* actually lighten up and be Just Another Human Among Other Humans, All Of Them Equal, they try to suck atten- tion using the same ways they have sucked attention all their lives in other situations. And it isn't working. So they are starting to freak out a little. They resent those who seem to have FUN doing something that for them is a "need," something they feel they "have" to do. So they "work harder," and it doesn't work. Instead of more and more people focusing their attention on them, less and less do. It's kinda fascinating to watch, actually. But, unlike Lawson, they can't change, so they keep running the same petty tyrant numbers over and over and over, growing more frustrated every day as fewer and fewer people interact with them as if they were actually...uh...interesting. Here's a hint for them: if being perceived as interesting matters to you -- and it clearly seems to -- say something interesting. It's the one thing you haven't tried yet in your ongoing quest for attention.
