"A dyslexic man walks into a bra."
On Fri, Mar 7, 2014 at 7:57 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > "They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O." > > > On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 8:35 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: > >> "I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words." >> >> >> On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 9:30 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down." >>> >>> >>> On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>> >>>> "Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall." >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long <[email protected]>wrote: >>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "I used to own an origami shop. It folded." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on >>>>> me." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop >>>>> anytime." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned >>>>> veteran." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "Jokes about German sausage are the wurst." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "When chemists die, they barium." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> "I tried to catch some fog. I mist." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>> A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies >>>>> with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of >>>>> a >>>>> particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. >>>>> >>>>> When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in >>>>> the eye and said, >>>>> >>>>> "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>> There were three Indian squaws. >>>>> >>>>> One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third >>>>> slept >>>>> on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two >>>>> each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin >>>>> had twin boys. >>>>> >>>>> This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal >>>>> to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>> A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name >>>>> missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to >>>>> the >>>>> local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have >>>>> taken Leif >>>>> off my census." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long <[email protected]>wrote: >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or >>>>> Alzheimers (-: >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>> An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine >>>>> man. >>>>> >>>>> After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin >>>>> strip of >>>>> elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and >>>>> swallow one inch of the leather every day. >>>>> >>>>> After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was >>>>> feeling. >>>>> >>>>> The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady >>>>> lingers on." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>> A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets >>>>> and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as >>>>> saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>> Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to >>>>> produce other products, and since they already made the cases for >>>>> watches, >>>>> they used them to produce compasses. >>>>> >>>>> The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or >>>>> Mexico rather than California . >>>>> >>>>> This, of course, is the origin of the expression,"He who has a Tate's >>>>> is lost!" >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams <[email protected] >>>>> > wrote: >>>>> >>>>> A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins >>>>> that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. >>>>> >>>>> One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap >>>>> some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. >>>>> >>>>> Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was >>>>> arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for >>>>> immortal porpoises. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams < >>>>> [email protected]> wrote: >>>>> >>>>> King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war >>>>> with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the >>>>> Euphrates, >>>>> the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to >>>>> Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. >>>>> >>>>> Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it". >>>>> >>>>> "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you >>>>> know >>>>> who I am? I am the king!" >>>>> >>>>> Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference >>>>> who you are." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: >>>>> >>>>> Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid >>>>> bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed >>>>> in a >>>>> fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> >>> >> >
