"Be Here Now" was the bible for youth uprising that offered the civil rights demonstrations and Vietnam war protests in the US in the late 60s and early 70s. RamDas taught with Timothy Leary at Harvard in the Psychology dept, they shared an office, and both left when Leary was dismissed - moving to the Leary family home in California that became infamous for his experiments in LSD. After having enough of that, RamDas left for India and found his guru, returned to his family home on the east coast afterward, and wrote "Be Here Now," gaining a large following for his Westernized, Eastern ideas.
On Sep 29, 7:39 pm, Ash <[email protected]> wrote: > On 9/29/2010 8:52 AM, Molly wrote:> You do what you do because that s what > the harmony of the universe > > requires, > > That is something I've been able to accept but not willing to be > comfortable with.> RamDas, "Be Here Now" > > :) Now that sounds like a plea (kidding). While you are not, here is a > hard place to find, someplace between yesterday and tomorrow. At the > moment thinking 'where' is informed by the past as a formative > world-perspective and 'what' comes from tomorrow, potentials pushing > toward emergence. I am in awe at the mystery, William Blake echoing > around the mental aether, and metaphysics of mind. To think I am great > and small, like everything else is inducing a very stable waveform. > > > > > On Sep 29, 2:13 am, Ash<[email protected]> wrote: > >> Every time I try to respond to this it seems I am a different person > >> and can't make any sense. Things are changing rapidly now, and I > >> switched from recreational research in evenings to work related research > >> to make pace with recovery and development efforts. The greatest changes > >> are my history, it is strange but it seems like once or twice a week now > >> my perception changes dramatically regarding who and where I have been. > >> A shock came last week when I made an intentional experiment, and saw > >> myself as a 50 year old man which was not too shocking except that I > >> became him in an instant and saw the progression of life until now. What > >> I saw was a child (myself), and being free from him was beyond > >> comprehension, many things I've known and not understood. This is > >> something I have no idea how to convey, it seems so alien and beyond > >> ontogenesis. This probably belongs in psk's thread but what to write > >> here has been on my mind frequently. I've been riding the wave if you > >> will and it is bringing good things to me, but facing many challenges > >> I've been stuck with for a long time. How does one turn their back on > >> onesself? It is like leaving a most intimate friend. > > >> Best Regards, > >> Me? > > >> On 9/12/2010 11:26 PM, gruff wrote: > > >>> "... On Sep 12, 12:57 am, Ash<[email protected]> wrote: ... " > >>>> In some situations I have a tend toward hypervigilance > >>> Hypervigilance can be useful as long as it doesn't wind up in > >>> paranoia, but given bouts of depression and anxiety, it probably > >>> does. Trigger points for what? To break out of the fugue or to do > >>> something else? > >>> I doubt many are ready for parenthood when it befalls them. Even > >>> though I was convinced that my line had to end with me because of the > >>> socio-psychological defects, I failed to get a vasectomy until I was > >>> in my early 40s and have never used a condom. I think there were some > >>> testosterone issues involved. I also had some sense that I was too > >>> selfish to be a parent. I didn't want something around my neck that > >>> would demand responsibility and tenacity from me. I wanted my life to > >>> be my own. But the latter never fully dawned on me till I had a > >>> squalling, smelly bundle of baby in the house. I took an easy out. > >>> Both mother and daughter left me when my kid was six months old and I > >>> never went after them. I've don't se anything appealing about baby > >>> humans. Now puppies and other animals are a different ballgame. > >>> But that's me. It sounds like you had a lot of serious misgivings and > >>> confidence issues but you stepped up and did what you had to do in > >>> spite of -- or maybe because of -- the darkness to which you > >>> descended. It sounds like your realization of the responsibilities > >>> involved overwhelmed you but again you did what you had to do. > >>> You had a drinking problem for a short time but when you realized it > >>> was causing you to fail your responsibilities as a father you put it > >>> down. That's quite an accomplishment. > >>> I don't think having been through a dark period necessarily requires > >>> going back, especially if it causes that much pain. Now if I felt you > >>> were in denial, then I might recommend revisiting the fear till you > >>> faced up to it, but you don't sound in denial. If anything it sounds > >>> like you might be taking too much of the responsibility and blame. > >>> In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps you are caught up in > >>> guilt. Especially if your background is Jewish or Catholic. Both are > >>> big dealers in guilt as a means of punishment and motivation. Guilt > >>> can do strange things to a normal human mind, cause much self- > >>> destruction and self-inflicted pain. > >>> Passive personality also fits in with guilt. Typical Woody Allen > >>> complex. Have you ever seen any of his films? Does he make you > >>> uncomfortable? If so, look deeper here. > >>> Do you ever feel as though a breakthrough or enlightenment is just > >>> around the corner, up the next block, across the street, in the next > >>> person you meet ... but you never seem to get there or find them. > >>> Just some random thoughts here. I felt like that quite often in my > >>> teens, twenties and thirties. I didn't begin to come into my own > >>> until my forties. Then I started spreading the news: Life does begin > >>> at forty. Actually it begin whenever a person is ready for it to > >>> begin. For some, life (i.e., being relatively confident in yourself > >>> in most all situations) beings young. Me, I was a late bloomer. But > >>> in some in never begins. Sounds like you're pretty close. You can't > >>> go through the sort of mental examination and rigorous questioning you > >>> are doing without learning some very real things about yourself. > >>> As for the tale of using a recording device to refresh the old woman's > >>> memory before her son visited, that was the only time I've had a > >>> chance to actually see the results. But it makes sense, at least > >>> enough to give it a try. > >>> Your actual memory problems are beyond my knowledge and capabilities > >>> but it sounds like there might be some self-destructiveness involved > >>> in the mix. Some of the things we can do to ourselves, and > >>> unknowingly as well, are shocking. > >>> Have you tried any form of therapy? I'm not talking a psychiatrist. > >>> For the most part all they want to do is give you chemicals. I'm > >>> talking about psychology. I received far more actual help from a > >>> psychologist than I ever did from the two shrinks I saw. > >>> But finding the right psychologist can be a job in itself. It's like > >>> finding the right combination of medicines that works for your own > >>> particular brand of high blood pressure. You have to be able to feel > >>> comfortable with the person and to develop a strong trust in them. It > >>> took me a while before I found one with whom I worked well. I learned > >>> a lot in the year of weekly visits and have never felt the need for > >>> one since. > >>> Do you indulge in any sort of drug use? It doesn't sound like it, > >>> from what you've told me about your experience with alcohol. Have > >>> you ever tried mild tranquilizers such as 5mg of Valium? They can > >>> slow a person down sufficiently to more or less let you catch up to > >>> yourself. I don't particularly like Valium because it blots out > >>> creativity but marijuana works just fine for me -- except I can't get > >>> it on my prescription drug plan. Not yet anyway.
