Dear Ari, That seems to have been a violent dream indeed. Is there a little demon in yourself called Ego? Are you fighting this demon in your practice? From your lines I read there is someone called Ego who tries to keep you from practicing. *Well, when I first tried meditating many years ago, I had a dream that was also very real and said "I'm the one in control here . . . with evil laughter".
*This dream is thanks in part to a TV show, called "CSI", which is the most popular show in the US. Most of the shows are gruesome but fine. But one show, was about how this guy was collecting women from the street and torturing them by cutting them into pieces while they were alive. The next person in line, to be tortured, was held by a metal ring around her wrist. In the show, she chewed her own hand off, to escape the metal wring and to escape the torture. *I immediately said "Thank you CSI for putting this imagine in my mind for the rest of my life!". Perhaps it has! I stopped watching that show! Our dreams are pictures painted by our feelings. The dream may reflect your struggle to destroy the worldly part of yourself. What we call ego is just a way of behaving, a way that has been evolved during millions of years. We would not exist without this instinct and there is nothing wrong with it. It is certainly not a demon. *Could be. Just sit and observe this wonderful body of yours which carries a wonderful mind. Relax and be yourself. Insight is not anything you can gain with violence and there is no use in fighting your wonderful mind. Breathe and observe it. *Right. I seem to be hated by many, and it gets me down, sometimes and sometimes I take it personally. Remember the zen story of the man who is plagued by violent dreams which seem so real? The zen master recommends him to attack the demon with an ink brush and when the man awakes he is carrying the dot of ink on his belly. The demon in your dreams is just an idea, no reality. *Right. Wonderful dreams, Kai *Thank you, Kai. Best, Ari Von:zen_fo...@yahoogrou ps.com [mailto:Zen_ fo...@yahoogroup s.com] Im Auftrag von Ari Gesendet: Dienstag, 10. August 2010 21:46 An: zen_fo...@yahoogrou ps.com Betreff: [Zen] EGO Dear all, Recently I went to a spiritual retreat, and decided to intensify my meditation practice and other aspects of having a mindful life. I was then beset by one of the worst nightmares I've ever had, where I was being chopped to bits by a hacksaw. The last line in the nightmare was "and it's not a dream this time" at which I woke up, to, indeed find that it was a dream. There is nothing so drastic in my personal life. My personal life is pretty mundane with not many conflicts at the moment. I wonder if Ego sent me the dream, to keep me from intensifying my practice? There have been other times in the past where I would get nightmares right after I had determined to intensify my practice. ANY opinions, welcome. I'm going to go about my meditation, and not let the dream freak me out, but really, would not like to have another one! Best, Ari
