Dear Ari, That seems to have been a violent dream indeed. Is there a little demon in yourself called Ego? Are you fighting this demon in your practice? From your lines I read there is someone called Ego who tries to keep you from practicing.
Our dreams are pictures painted by our feelings. The dream may reflect your struggle to destroy the worldly part of yourself. What we call ego is just a way of behaving, a way that has been evolved during millions of years. We would not exist without this instinct and there is nothing wrong with it. It is certainly not a demon. Just sit and observe this wonderful body of yours which carries a wonderful mind. Relax and be yourself. Insight is not anything you can gain with violence and there is no use in fighting your wonderful mind. Breathe and observe it. Remember the zen story of the man who is plagued by violent dreams which seem so real? The zen master recommends him to attack the demon with an ink brush and when the man awakes he is carrying the dot of ink on his belly. The demon in your dreams is just an idea, no reality. Wonderful dreams, Kai Von: Zen_Forum@yahoogroups.com [mailto:zen_fo...@yahoogroups.com] Im Auftrag von Ari Gesendet: Dienstag, 10. August 2010 21:46 An: Zen_Forum@yahoogroups.com Betreff: [Zen] EGO Dear all, Recently I went to a spiritual retreat, and decided to intensify my meditation practice and other aspects of having a mindful life. I was then beset by one of the worst nightmares I've ever had, where I was being chopped to bits by a hacksaw. The last line in the nightmare was "and it's not a dream this time" at which I woke up, to, indeed find that it was a dream. There is nothing so drastic in my personal life. My personal life is pretty mundane with not many conflicts at the moment. I wonder if Ego sent me the dream, to keep me from intensifying my practice? There have been other times in the past where I would get nightmares right after I had determined to intensify my practice. ANY opinions, welcome. I'm going to go about my meditation, and not let the dream freak me out, but really, would not like to have another one! Best, Ari