Alex, I so appreciate how much time and care you put into your responses. It is clear you care about coworking and community and I appreciate your willingness to share your experience and advice in such detail.
On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 4:00:27 PM UTC-8, Alex Hillman wrote: > > I should have added to my original reply that I assumed Aloma had already > tried speaking to this person...and that assumption on my part is based on > our interactions on this list over the last few years. > > And I'm speaking directly to the folks who, like myself and Aloma and many > other people who've built strong communities by being thoughtful and > generous: *there is a fine line between recognizing when a member is in > trouble and needs help, and when someone is being abusive. * > > Thing is, my default is generosity and caring and the benefit of the > doubt. I'm proud of the many times that our members have been in some kind > of trouble and that either myself or another member was able to help them. > > But I've learned that generosity can be abused, and that's what I see in > Aloma's original post. For me, it's two specific things, and frankly, > neither of them are specifically related to using a private room as a > residence: > > *1 - bringing in outside people after hours, and that resulting in a > situation that required calling the police. * > > after hours access is a privilege of trust, not a right of membership. i've > written extensively about this > <https://dangerouslyawesome.com/2014/07/the-neighborhood-watch-method-for-coworking-space-security/> > > and the system we developed after being abused by someone who took > advantage of a situation. that system depends on the people who have access > to be WORTHY of trust. all trust systems depends on strong links > recognizing weak links. in this case, NOT removing this person's 24/7 > access sends a message to the strong links that the weak links are allowed. > > *2 - slamming the door in the face of an employee, or any sort of > belligerent behavior directed towards others. *say or do anything you > want to me, but don't fuck with my team (or our members). Now, this > isn't a "if you disagree with me you're out on the street." The specific > examples shared are abusive behavior, and regardless of the reason they do > not need to be tolerated within a community. > > Again, this isn't simply "you aren't nice so you're out" but abusive, > disruptive behavior directed towards people, or shared resources (which > basically says I don't GAF about the people I share this with). > > Humans are complicated and messy. These situations are not black and > white. There is no single right way to handle this. > > And worst of all, most of us don't realize what job we're signing up for > when we start these things. > > Short term, I still strongly believe that this person needs their 24/7 > access removed. You can tell them that you're here to support them in > getting help if they need it, but they can't use the space. > > Medium term, I would strongly consider two things: > > 1 - consider a mental health first aid class for you, your staff, and > maybe even your members who want to participate. there are lots of little > things that can be done long before a situation becomes this bad. > > 2 - consider a community town hall about the situation. don't make it > about the person specifically, but instead about how you *as a community* > would want to deal with a situation like this in the future. this could > possibly be tied into the first suggestion above. > > Bottom line: this isn't a real estate business, it's a human business. > That means it's going to get messy. > > But that also does NOT mean that you have to sit back and get beat up by > someone who is abusing you or your community. > > -Alex > > > > > > > > > > ------------------ > *The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by yourself.* > Better Coworkers: http://indyhall.org > Weekly Coworking Tips: http://coworkingweekly.com > My Audiobook: https://theindyhallway.com/ten > > Sent via Superhuman <https://sprh.mn/?vip=dangerouslyawes...@gmail.com> > > > On Mon, Nov 26, 2018 at 5:46 PM, Aloma Loren <freephot...@gmail.com > <javascript:>> wrote: > >> Wow, Miles, your comment feels full of negative assumptions about me and >> my business. FYI I have run this space as a community service project >> without pay for 4.5 years pouring my heart and time and energy into >> creating a supportive community where people feel cared for and supported. >> OF COURSE WE HAVE TRIED TO TALK TO THIS PERSON. This person literally >> closed the door in my face. I was nothing but kind and only asked when they >> would have time to meet in the next few days. I'm not sure how my original >> comment has you drawing such conclusions but the tone of your comment is >> not appreciated. >> >> On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 2:17:30 PM UTC-8, Miles Fidelman wrote: >>> >>> Has anyone, you know, actually talked to the member? Sounds like >>> someone who's underwater & drowing. Are they having business problems? >>> Family problems? Mental problems? Or are you just one of those places >>> that's really just rental real-estate and members be damned? Not a place >>> I'd want to work in, or a group of people I'd want to work with. >>> >>> >>> On Monday, November 26, 2018 at 1:25:27 PM UTC-5, Aloma Loren wrote: >>>> >>>> We have a member, we'll call this member X. >>>> >>>> X moved into a private office a couple months ago. >>>> X gave 30 days notice that they will be out by the end of November, >>>> however, they want to continue their membership as a Flex Desk member so >>>> would still have 24/7 access to the space. >>>> >>>> It is clear from our security cameras X is here 24/7. Walks around the >>>> space in their socks, is always in the same clothes, looks like they don't >>>> shower... Hung a towel over the inside of the door to block any little >>>> space between the blinds. >>>> The other night the cameras showed the police here at 4:30am walking >>>> through the space with flashlights. X says they had a friend in here that >>>> got violent and they had to call the police. >>>> >>>> X refuses to let us show the office to new members. They claim they are >>>> on the phone and busy all day. They literally slammed the door in my >>>> office >>>> manager's face when she was trying to talk to her very kindly about this. >>>> >>>> Anyone dealt with this kind of situation before? >>>> >>>> I can handle not showing the office. I have a feeling it would not show >>>> well anyway. >>>> I do not feel comfortable with X still having access to the space after >>>> they move out of their office. >>>> Have you had to cancel a membership/refuse someone before? >>>> How do you word it? >>>> >>>> Any advice or just sharing of stories welcome. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> -- >> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups >> "Coworking" group. >> To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an >> email to coworking+...@googlegroups.com <javascript:>. >> For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. >> > > -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Coworking" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to coworking+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
