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The point I wanted to make regarding this is that there is a difference
between, on the one hand, taking responsibility for your life, healing
past trauma, and forgiving others and, on the other hand, allowing
someone else to dodge responsibility for their actions by blaming you
for the violence they did to you.
One empowers you. The other saddles you with undeserved guilt and
self-loathing (and has led to many suicides).
Also, the person pinning the blame doesn't have to be the perpetrator.
Sometimes the rules of a culture favor "blaming the victim."
An example is when a woman complains about being hit by her husband, and
the authority's first response is not to punish the husband, or even
find the truth, but to ask the woman, "What did you do to make your
husband so mad?"
The assumption that the victim is to blame shows a society that gives
greater status, goodness, credibility, benefit of the doubt, etc. to
perpetrators. Same thing used to happen when a priest abused a child.
The false belief was that priests are holy, therefore more likely to be
honest and good, whereas children are born sinners and likely to lie. So
the authorities would take the priest's word for what happened and
punish the child for lying (again, blaming the victim). This often
convinced the child that he was at fault for the abuse. So the child
would blame himself and do self-destructive things to punish himself.
In any kind of therapy or self-help, you must be careful to not to blame
the victim but to help the victim heal from the trauma and become
empowered once more. They are two different things.
On 6/23/2012 4:06 PM, Martin Foster wrote:
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On 23 June 2012 01:48, Pete Mclaughlin wrote:
I can't speak for all other trommers or scientologists since i
haven't polled them on their individual views.
How do you feel about victims. Are they responsible for their state
or blameless?
Hi Pete,
I think one should look at "victims" in terms of occurrence.
The term "Victim" used disparagingly means someone who is using his
status to obtain sympathy and reward.
In "WAR" we have victors and vanquished. In lesser games we speak of
winners and losers.
BUT the vanquished or losers do not necessarily see themselves as
"victims"
They only become "victims" when they assume that identity.
Regards,
Martin
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