************* The following message is relayed to you by [email protected] ************
Glen,
I must say that your explanation of this issue of victims and perpetrators is the best logic I have seen or hear on the subject. I don't even think it could be evaluated and reasoned better than that. Thanks, David > Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2012 17:14:07 -0400 > From: [email protected] > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [TROM1] Perpetrators and victims > > ************* > The following message is relayed to you by [email protected] > ************ > The point I wanted to make regarding this is that there is a difference > between, on the one hand, taking responsibility for your life, healing > past trauma, and forgiving others and, on the other hand, allowing > someone else to dodge responsibility for their actions by blaming you > for the violence they did to you. > > One empowers you. The other saddles you with undeserved guilt and > self-loathing (and has led to many suicides). > > Also, the person pinning the blame doesn't have to be the perpetrator. > Sometimes the rules of a culture favor "blaming the victim." > An example is when a woman complains about being hit by her husband, and > the authority's first response is not to punish the husband, or even > find the truth, but to ask the woman, "What did you do to make your > husband so mad?" > > The assumption that the victim is to blame shows a society that gives > greater status, goodness, credibility, benefit of the doubt, etc. to > perpetrators. Same thing used to happen when a priest abused a child. > The false belief was that priests are holy, therefore more likely to be > honest and good, whereas children are born sinners and likely to lie. So > the authorities would take the priest's word for what happened and > punish the child for lying (again, blaming the victim). This often > convinced the child that he was at fault for the abuse. So the child > would blame himself and do self-destructive things to punish himself. > > In any kind of therapy or self-help, you must be careful to not to blame > the victim but to help the victim heal from the trauma and become > empowered once more. They are two different things. > > On 6/23/2012 4:06 PM, Martin Foster wrote: > > ************* > > The following message is relayed to you by [email protected] > > ************ > > On 23 June 2012 01:48, Pete Mclaughlin wrote: > >> I can't speak for all other trommers or scientologists since i > >> haven't polled them on their individual views. > >> > >> How do you feel about victims. Are they responsible for their state > >> or blameless? > > > > Hi Pete, > > > > I think one should look at "victims" in terms of occurrence. > > > > The term "Victim" used disparagingly means someone who is using his > > status to obtain sympathy and reward. > > > > In "WAR" we have victors and vanquished. In lesser games we speak of > > winners and losers. > > > > BUT the vanquished or losers do not necessarily see themselves as > > "victims" > > > > They only become "victims" when they assume that identity. > > > > Regards, > > > > Martin > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Trom mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://lists.newciv.org/mailman/listinfo/trom > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Trom mailing list > [email protected] > http://lists.newciv.org/mailman/listinfo/trom
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