************* The following message is relayed to you by [email protected] ************ Glen i see your point but,
What if the complaining woman gets her husband arrested and later it turns out she just wanted him out of the way so she could clean out his savings and run off with her new boyfriend? What if it turns out the kids were lying about what the priest did? Whenever authorities are asked to take action against some one who is accused of doing wrong they must determine the facts in the case. However what do these third dynamic activities have to do with TROM? TROM is a first dynamic only activity where i try to improve myself. I find that when applying TROM to myself it works best if work from the basis that i caused my own problems, even the one where i lost a game. Keep On TROMing Pete Sent from my iPad On Jun 23, 2012, at 2:14 PM, Glen Strathy <[email protected]> wrote: > ************* > The following message is relayed to you by [email protected] > ************ > The point I wanted to make regarding this is that there is a difference > between, on the one hand, taking responsibility for your life, healing past > trauma, and forgiving others and, on the other hand, allowing someone else to > dodge responsibility for their actions by blaming you for the violence they > did to you. > > One empowers you. The other saddles you with undeserved guilt and > self-loathing (and has led to many suicides). > > Also, the person pinning the blame doesn't have to be the perpetrator. > Sometimes the rules of a culture favor "blaming the victim." > An example is when a woman complains about being hit by her husband, and the > authority's first response is not to punish the husband, or even find the > truth, but to ask the woman, "What did you do to make your husband so mad?" > > The assumption that the victim is to blame shows a society that gives greater > status, goodness, credibility, benefit of the doubt, etc. to perpetrators. > Same thing used to happen when a priest abused a child. The false belief was > that priests are holy, therefore more likely to be honest and good, whereas > children are born sinners and likely to lie. So the authorities would take > the priest's word for what happened and punish the child for lying (again, > blaming the victim). This often convinced the child that he was at fault for > the abuse. So the child would blame himself and do self-destructive things to > punish himself. > > In any kind of therapy or self-help, you must be careful to not to blame the > victim but to help the victim heal from the trauma and become empowered once > more. They are two different things. > > : >> _______________________________________________ Trom mailing list [email protected] http://lists.newciv.org/mailman/listinfo/trom
