Okay,
     I started practicing around 16 yrs of age. I had a very good 
routine and thoroughly enjoyed my nightly seshins. After a year of 
disciplined practice, I once came home after a night out with my 
friends and our favorite hallucinogen, and decided to meditate. I was 
suprisingly able to sit and focus on my breath as I had been trained. 
Soon, I was in my most relaxed state in which I could no longer feel 
my body (this is what I was used to). But quickly things began 
happening and I entered a state of unfamiliar territory. I did not 
acknowledge, I continued to breathe. Scenes started rushing before 
me, I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe. My entire life 
played out in my head, and then scenes of past lives I guess, I then 
remember primitive-type peoples around a bonfire followed by 
darkness, then a sort of textbook scribbling that began flowing and 
flowing, all the while I did not acknowledge, I continued to 
breathe.  This entire experience began to fall away into a tiny 
bubble and POOF! It was gone. I then experienced a vast ocean of 
nothingness. Everything quiet, everything still, all the while 
breathing, in, out, rising, falling. I later interpreted that as all 
the knowledge in my head was but a spec compared to the limitless 
universal being. Then "spirits" began beckoning me to come with them, 
I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe, one after the other 
they came, I soon had an overwhelming feeling to open my eyes, and I 
did so, to the sight of a huge pulsating face, the entire size of my 
wall, just sitting there, staring back at me, and all the while 
little darts of light, dancing around my periphery, after a slight 
nod to the face, I again closed my eyes and continued to breathe. I 
remember then a rush of energy and scenes overcoming my being so fast 
that I still cannot process them, the last thing I remember was the 
concept of mother then father then a cross, then a bright light that 
struck my concsiousness so hard that I immediatly snapped out of my 
meditation and was as sober as the day I was born.  All of this 
happening I now interpret in to words, but at the time, with my 
training, I tried not to acknowledge what was happening to me, I was 
just trying to breathe and keep my concentration. All sense of time 
had vanished, but it must've been about an hour or two. 

I know, I know, how can you reasonably call this a true experience, 
isn't this just an LSD trip?  Well, whatever it was, it was the most 
profound experience of my life, and I spent years (and many more 
trips) to get back there again.  My problem is that I thought I found 
the key, a short-cut to enlightenment.  I felt I had experienced 
through the hallucinogen what masters experience after a lifetime of 
practice.  I soon spent less time on my practice, and more on such 
subjects as Shamanism and Hallucinogens (one of many books I 
researched). 

Okay, wrap it up Chris! So after years gone astray, and a terrible 
problem with addiction, a supportive family and NA realy helped. NA 
got me sober, but after a while I got tired of reminding myself that 
I am an addict.  A Zen-buddhist temple opening up in my neighborhood 
of Mansfield, Tx, brought me around full circle!

Satori Experience?  Or Jimi Hendrix Experience? You be the judge!

Thank You!

Chris




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