Okay, I started practicing around 16 yrs of age. I had a very good routine and thoroughly enjoyed my nightly seshins. After a year of disciplined practice, I once came home after a night out with my friends and our favorite hallucinogen, and decided to meditate. I was suprisingly able to sit and focus on my breath as I had been trained. Soon, I was in my most relaxed state in which I could no longer feel my body (this is what I was used to). But quickly things began happening and I entered a state of unfamiliar territory. I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe. Scenes started rushing before me, I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe. My entire life played out in my head, and then scenes of past lives I guess, I then remember primitive-type peoples around a bonfire followed by darkness, then a sort of textbook scribbling that began flowing and flowing, all the while I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe. This entire experience began to fall away into a tiny bubble and POOF! It was gone. I then experienced a vast ocean of nothingness. Everything quiet, everything still, all the while breathing, in, out, rising, falling. I later interpreted that as all the knowledge in my head was but a spec compared to the limitless universal being. Then "spirits" began beckoning me to come with them, I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe, one after the other they came, I soon had an overwhelming feeling to open my eyes, and I did so, to the sight of a huge pulsating face, the entire size of my wall, just sitting there, staring back at me, and all the while little darts of light, dancing around my periphery, after a slight nod to the face, I again closed my eyes and continued to breathe. I remember then a rush of energy and scenes overcoming my being so fast that I still cannot process them, the last thing I remember was the concept of mother then father then a cross, then a bright light that struck my concsiousness so hard that I immediatly snapped out of my meditation and was as sober as the day I was born. All of this happening I now interpret in to words, but at the time, with my training, I tried not to acknowledge what was happening to me, I was just trying to breathe and keep my concentration. All sense of time had vanished, but it must've been about an hour or two.
I know, I know, how can you reasonably call this a true experience, isn't this just an LSD trip? Well, whatever it was, it was the most profound experience of my life, and I spent years (and many more trips) to get back there again. My problem is that I thought I found the key, a short-cut to enlightenment. I felt I had experienced through the hallucinogen what masters experience after a lifetime of practice. I soon spent less time on my practice, and more on such subjects as Shamanism and Hallucinogens (one of many books I researched). Okay, wrap it up Chris! So after years gone astray, and a terrible problem with addiction, a supportive family and NA realy helped. NA got me sober, but after a while I got tired of reminding myself that I am an addict. A Zen-buddhist temple opening up in my neighborhood of Mansfield, Tx, brought me around full circle! Satori Experience? Or Jimi Hendrix Experience? You be the judge! Thank You! Chris ------------------------------------ Current Book Discussion: any Zen book that you recently have read or are reading! Talk about it today!Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Zen_Forum/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Zen_Forum/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/