Okay,
I started practicing around 16 yrs of age. I had a very good
routine and thoroughly enjoyed my nightly seshins. After a year of
disciplined practice, I once came home after a night out with my
friends and our favorite hallucinogen, and decided to meditate. I was
suprisingly able to sit and focus on my breath as I had been trained.
Soon, I was in my most relaxed state in which I could no longer feel
my body (this is what I was used to). But quickly things began
happening and I entered a state of unfamiliar territory. I did not
acknowledge, I continued to breathe. Scenes started rushing before
me, I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe. My entire life
played out in my head, and then scenes of past lives I guess, I then
remember primitive-type peoples around a bonfire followed by
darkness, then a sort of textbook scribbling that began flowing and
flowing, all the while I did not acknowledge, I continued to
breathe. This entire experience began to fall away into a tiny
bubble and POOF! It was gone. I then experienced a vast ocean of
nothingness. Everything quiet, everything still, all the while
breathing, in, out, rising, falling. I later interpreted that as all
the knowledge in my head was but a spec compared to the limitless
universal being. Then "spirits" began beckoning me to come with them,
I did not acknowledge, I continued to breathe, one after the other
they came, I soon had an overwhelming feeling to open my eyes, and I
did so, to the sight of a huge pulsating face, the entire size of my
wall, just sitting there, staring back at me, and all the while
little darts of light, dancing around my periphery, after a slight
nod to the face, I again closed my eyes and continued to breathe. I
remember then a rush of energy and scenes overcoming my being so fast
that I still cannot process them, the last thing I remember was the
concept of mother then father then a cross, then a bright light that
struck my concsiousness so hard that I immediatly snapped out of my
meditation and was as sober as the day I was born. All of this
happening I now interpret in to words, but at the time, with my
training, I tried not to acknowledge what was happening to me, I was
just trying to breathe and keep my concentration. All sense of time
had vanished, but it must've been about an hour or two.
I know, I know, how can you reasonably call this a true experience,
isn't this just an LSD trip? Well, whatever it was, it was the most
profound experience of my life, and I spent years (and many more
trips) to get back there again. My problem is that I thought I found
the key, a short-cut to enlightenment. I felt I had experienced
through the hallucinogen what masters experience after a lifetime of
practice. I soon spent less time on my practice, and more on such
subjects as Shamanism and Hallucinogens (one of many books I
researched).
Okay, wrap it up Chris! So after years gone astray, and a terrible
problem with addiction, a supportive family and NA realy helped. NA
got me sober, but after a while I got tired of reminding myself that
I am an addict. A Zen-buddhist temple opening up in my neighborhood
of Mansfield, Tx, brought me around full circle!
Satori Experience? Or Jimi Hendrix Experience? You be the judge!
Thank You!
Chris
------------------------------------
Current Book Discussion: any Zen book that you recently have read or are
reading! Talk about it today!Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Zen_Forum/
<*> Your email settings:
Individual Email | Traditional
<*> To change settings online go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Zen_Forum/join
(Yahoo! ID required)
<*> To change settings via email:
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
