���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->��� and ���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->��� presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!---------------------> Grab a seat and get ready to roar in laughter...you have reached the original home of PUREHUMOUR! In the unlikely event that you no longer wish to receive the "Best Humour on the Net" then you will find the unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every mailing! Not much to add today...so just enjoy this issue. Today's issue includes contributions by: Jamie, Rubin, Di Ann, Stan, Marina, John, SunAmy. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� Lets start with a quickie: Why did the spider have fireflies for dinner? She wanted to have a light meal. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Did you notice... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.626 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.626 Captain in trouble... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.627 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.627 ���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------��� Today's issue is brought to you by: Real people...real cameras....24 hours per day...right into your house! Watch what really goes on behind closed doors! This is NOT a porn site...this is where YOU go to meet and be with people with similar interests...chatrooms, message boards and much more! <a href=" http://www.anywebcam.com/a.nsf/a?ReadForm&AID=015932 ">Click</a> http://www.anywebcam.com/a.nsf/a?ReadForm&AID=015932 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� <A Classic!> A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb. ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------��� Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href=" http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ">Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A small company teeters on the edge of bankruptcy and so the owner summons his two-man sales force into his office. "Things aren't going too well, guys," he announced grimly. "So to perk up sales I'm announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job." "What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen. The owner looked at both men and said, "The loser gets to give it." ���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL----------------------��� How about a little of each? Check out the poll at: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">FunStop</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------��� A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships were built for. -Grace Hopper ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Just the truth... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.628 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.628 They're in for a surprise... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.629 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.629 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Two mailmen are standing on the sidewalk chatting after finishing their routes when one notices a slug crawling by. In a rage he stomps on the poor creature. "That was cruel," says the other mailman. "Why'd you do that?" He replies, angrily, "That son of a bitch has been following me all day!" ���------------------------TOON TIME--------------------------------��� Glue Gun Uses <a href="http://www.jillsjokeline.com/glue.html";>Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/glue.html Head and Pelvis Shampoo (audio) <a href="http://www.jillsjokeline.com/headpelv.html";>Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/headpelv.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Paul dies and finds himself before the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells him that he cannot enter yet because he cheated on his income taxes. The only way he might get into heaven would be to sleep with a dumb, ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it. Paul decides that this is a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So, off he goes with this woman, pretending to be happy. As he walks along, he sees his friend Sam up ahead with an even uglier woman. When he asks what's going on, Sam replies "I cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot of money." They both shake their heads in understanding and figure that they might as well hang out together to help pass the time. Now Sam, Paul, and their two ugly women are walking along, minding their own business when they see someone who looks like their old friend Russell up ahead. This man is with an absolutely gorgeous woman. Stunned, Sam and Paul approach the man and discover it is their friend Greg. They ask him how it is he's with this unbelievable goddess, while they're stuck with these god-awful women. Greg replies, "I have no idea, but I'm definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my life, and I have five years of the best sex any man could hope to look forward to. There is only one thing that I can't seem to understand. Every time we finish having sex, she rolls over and murmurs to herself, 'Damn income taxes!'" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� It's True...you can get paid for doing what you are already doing! Get Paid to read email: <a href=" http://www.sendmoreinfo.com/id/9079 ">Click Here</a> ���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------��� If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href=" http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ">Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A burglar broke into the house of a Quaker in the middle of the night and started to rob it. The Quaker heard the noise and went downstairs with his shotgun. When he found the burglar he pointed his gun at him and said most gently, "Friend, I mean thee no harm, but thou standest where I am about to shoot!" ���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------��� Shouldn't the cosmic stupidity hopper be empty by now? ���-------------------------DEAR AGGIE--------------------------------��� Aggie cannot function without your support! NEW...check out Aggie's Webpage at: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/aggie/ ">Dear Aggie</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/aggie/ ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Flipping the bird... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.630 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.630 Looking good... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.631 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.631 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� After the service a woman went to the preacher, "Pastor, I hope you don't take it personal that my husband walked out during your sermon." "Oh, I'm so glad you told me that, because it upset me terribly," said the preacher. "What caused him to leave, if I may ask?" "Oh he's walked in his sleep since he was a child." ���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------��� My mother had been complaining of dizziness, so Dad took her to the doctor's office for a checkup. She finished early, went shopping, and told Dad, "I feel much better now that I bought myself a new hat." "Good," Dad replied. "You're all dressed up and no vertigo." ���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------��� Need A BeerHolder <a href="http://www.jillsjokeline.com/beerhold.html";>Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/beerhold.html GraveStone <a href="http://www.jillsjokeline.com/grave.html";>Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/grave.html ���--------------ON THE ROAD WITH AN IDIOT---------------��� If Merge is a misunderstood driving instruction, then Yield is an incomprehensible concept in a foreign language, for which there are no English words to describe it. It does not mean stop. That would be a stop sign. It's red and octagonal-you can count the sides while you are stopped. A stop sign is not a yield sign, although many drivers reverse the two. It does not mean "merge at all costs including a collision." It does apply to you even if you have a bigger vehicle. You should "Yield" to other traffic and let them go first before you pull your sorry excuse for a car into the flow of traffic. That may be where they came up with the name for the sign. And all this time you thought the department of transportation was organized just to piss you off. And yes, you still have to yield, even if you run over the sign. � 2002 by Todd A. Sponsler Todd A. Sponsler, MD is an opto... ofphtha... offtha... an eye surgeon trying to prove that doctors can write something other than illegible prescriptions. He currently composts (I mean composes) a humor column on his website called The Lions Den. For humor dispensed in nearly fatal doses go to www.geocities.com/psulionsden. ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� "Get this," said the bloke to his mates. "Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house." "Did he get anything?" his mates asked. "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� This is the WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS BOOK! Get it now before it is banned...See why US Senators have been trying to block the sale of this book...learn the secret of the pros...that NO ONE wants you to know! It is all here...and the price has never been lower! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/12.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/12.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� "That wife of mine is a liar and a cheat ," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley." "So?" "So she's a liar and a cheat. I spent the night with her sister, Shirley." ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� It's all about defence... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.632 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.632 I'd buy one... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.633 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.633 ���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------��� Two workers at Namibia's Broadcasting Corporation have been sacked after pornographic footage was briefly shown on TV. It is believed some employees were watching a porn video when a studio technician pressed the wrong button. The pornographic material was then broadcast to viewers nationwide and abroad. Irate viewers flooded the NBC radio phone-in programmes with calls, expressing disgust over the footage. The Namibian says the two people who were dismissed were a director and an operator at the studio in Windhoek. NBC said: "An unfortunate incident occurred on NBC-TV when undesirable material was accidentally transmitted during the broadcast of the mini-series 'Deadlines'. "The NBC wishes to express our sincere regret for this unfortunate incident. Please be assured that the employees responsible for the malicious tampering with the signal have been severely dealt with". Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists</a> ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� One day Little Johnny asks his dad, "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?" Dad thought for a minute and said, "Come with me." He took Little Johnny to his mother's bedroom, where she was sleeping nude. "Johnny," he whispered, "see that brown soft furry patch? That is a pussy." Little Johnny asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?" "No!" replied his father. "That might wake the cunt up." ���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------��� [||||] F O O D C O U R T A L E R T [||||] The FBI is warning American shopping malls to be on the alert for al-Qaeda suicide bombers this summer. (USA Today) Shoppers are being advised to steer clear of anyone dressed as a giant Mrs. Field's cookie -- especially if he's wearing a turban. B O N U S : [||||] S T U N F U N [||||] The cockpit jockeys union applauded TransSec Norman Mineta's decision to allow commercial joystick swivelers to pack stun guns in gauge central. (USA Today) Until now, their only method of stunning an unruly passenger was to quote something Howard Stern said on the radio. Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A guy is real drunk and gets home real late. Trying to avoid the little woman, he parks a block away from his home. He takes off his shoes as he walks up the stairs, careful not to make a noise. He quietly opens the door and tiptoes into the room, when BAM, he gets hit by a frying pan. Telling the story to a friend the next day at the local watering hole, his best friend sadly shakes his head and says: "Boy are you ignert! Now here's how I do it. When I get rip roaring drunk I go borry my buds low rider Harley and go screamin up and down my block a couple of times a hootin and a hollerin. I take the Harley rat up on the porch and then start screamin and a cussin. I slam open the door and scream, 'I'm the man of the house and I want some sex rat now!' And you know what's amazin'??? My wife is always asleep!!!" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Website hosting at a price YOU can afford...great features... all the bells and whistles...get YOUR spotlight now: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html ">Hosting</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� New gadget... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.634 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.634 Playing with Pop... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.635 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.10.635 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!" "Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked. "That's the one!" "That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?" "Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his fucking guide dog bit me." ���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� What do you call a 400 lb. woman who likes to fuck men and women at the same time? A bisexual built for two. ���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------��� How I survived the LA Riots by Michael Dare South Central was not my favorite part of town but I had gotten to know it well. My social worker behaved as though I was supposed to be grateful for her kindly allowing my four-year-old son Buster to be moved from a group home in El Monte to a group home in South Central but it wasn't so much of a blessing. Though he was now physically closer to his home in Hollywood, which is what I had been asking for, there was no freeway between us. Having to use surface streets made the trip take just as long. Look at a map and you'll see a thousand different possible routes from Melrose and Fairfax to Slauson and Arlington. For months I explored, discovering all the shortcuts and intersections to be avoided. I knew where to get ice cream, I knew where to get donuts, I knew where to get incredible ribs, and only the functionally illiterate would have had the slightest problem finding liquor. It was April 29, 1992. I wended my way from the comfort of ultra-liberal West Hollywood to South Central. I was picking up Buster for an overnight visit, which is the final stage on the visitation scale before any child is actually physically released to the parent from the county. They'd had him for nine months and we had had hundreds of visits. Down San Vicente to Pico, Pico to Arlington, Arlington over to Crenshaw and Martin Luther King. I was blocks away and needed a cigarette so I stopped at a place called "The Smoke Shop" hoping they might carry American Spirit, only to discover that all they sold were chemicals for cocaine processing in large quantity. A different sort of American Spirit. If I was being followed by the county, this was a bad place to stop. I decided I'd get cigarettes afterwards since I couldn't smoke during the visit anyway. A suburban street, just a line-up of homes, one standing out because of a fenced in backyard full of toys and sandboxes and slides and children, all black except mine, including the women running the group home, who were doing a great job. The place was spotless. I couldn't hope to create a cleaner or healthier environment at my home, which made getting my kid back another sort of challenge. Man, how can you compete with a fully funded, well-stocked group home? This place looked MUCH healthier for a kid than my bachelor digs in an old, faux-Spanish, red tile and stucco Hollywood courtyard full of rock musicians and degenerates. I knew I was being watched. It was a tricky situation because the women of the place have confided in me that they have heard my social worker bragging about her "white baby" and they think it's terrible and they think Buster doesn't belong there. So they're on my side. I went to the front door, got buzzed in, and went to the desk first. It was a makeshift office between the living room and the kitchen - a big playroom where all transactions took place. I showed my ID and signed a paper promising to bring him back in good shape, and they signed a paper stating he was in good shape when he left. I sat down to watch TV while waiting for them to bring in my son. The Rodney King case was on the news. The women pulled up chairs to watch since the verdict had apparently come in. Suddenly all the kids came running in.and they were all over me, six little kids, all under five. I was the only father who visited the home, so any time I showed up it turned into playtime for all. They were being raised by women so the presence of a male made them all go nuts, jumping all over me, playing, I didn't mind, love kids, I'm daddy to all of them, the more the merrier, it's hard to tear myself away but in the midst of all this mayhem I hear the word "Innocent" repeated over and over from the TV. The adults in the room look at each other in stunned disbelief. Innocent? How could they be innocent? The whole world saw the tape Obviously they did it. We were in complete agreement that the verdict made absolutely no sense. We kept watching as the commentators showed the tape again, explaining that it wasn't that the four cops were innocent of delivering the beating to Rodney King but that they were innocent of WRONGDOING. In other words they were just behaving the way cops were supposed to behave under those conditions. The LAPD was vindicated. I pulled up a chair and watched when the women started looking at each other nervously. We agreed this was bad. Very bad. Finally, one of them said "I think you should take your son now." Good idea. I separated my offspring from the herd and got the hell out of there. On the way home, Buster and I stopped to get some ice cream at a Thrifty nearby. We got home, turned on the TV, and saw the place we had just stopped for ice cream burning down. Like everyone in L.A., we were stuck to our televisions for the night. For most people, watching the riots on television was like watching a report from a foreign country. Nobody from Hollywood or Burbank or Westwood ever visits South Central, so the destroyed landscape they watched was beyond recognition. But Buster and I knew the neighborhoods first hand. We watched in a daze. "Look Buster, there's that fried chicken place we go to burning down." "Look Daddy, there's my pre-school." I was supposed to return him the next morning but the local TV news made the trip look suicidal. Luckily, the phone rang and it was the group home. "It isn't safe to come anywhere near," they said. "Stay away." I agreed to keep Buster through the weekend. Then I remembered all his stuff, his clothes, his toys, were still at the group home. I told them I'd try to get there to pick up his stuff. "Stay away," they said. Buster needed toys, he needed puzzles, he needed his books, his videotapes. All the cool stuff I had for him was at the group home. There was nothing for him to do. A friend agreed to watch him for an hour while I snuck back through the riots to the group home to pick up Buster's stuff, which they willingly gave me, wishing me luck as I headed home. Got home to see Reginald Denny pulled from his truck and beaten. "Why are they doing that, daddy?" "Because he's white." "So what?" "Some other white men did a bad thing to them, so they think it's okay to do a bad thing to another white man, even though this white man had nothing to do with the white men who did something bad to them, and actually it wasn't them but some other black guy the white men did a bad thing to." I've felt that way myself. I was once ripped off by some bikers. For years I'd look at bikers and snarl, vowing vengeance till I finally realized that taking revenge against someone who simply shares physical characteristics with the people you're really mad at is insane. Revenge has got to be personal. Some day I'll get those bikers. But I didn't tell Buster that. On Monday Buster was supposed to be returned again. Our social worker, Rhonda Wilson called and asked why I hadn't returned my son. I told her it wasn't safe and the group home agreed. She told me that the group home has no authority over the decision as to whether my son should be returned. She ordered me to bring him back immediately or she would come by to pick him up herself. This seemed as good a time to make my stand as any. I decided I'd keep him. Me and Charlton Heston. They'd have to tear him from my cold dead hands. Let the cops show up. Haven't they got anything better to do? Every client on earth is told by their lawyer never to talk directly to the judge unless they are asking you a question. I disobeyed that advice and wrote a personal letter to the judge and send it overnight. I got a call the next morning from my attorney who said "What did you do?' I told her. "Judge Silver came in this morning and did something I've never seen a judge do," my attorney told me. I guess she got my letter. First thing in the morning, before getting to her schedule, Judge Silver ordered all representatives in the Dare case into the court, then made a motion and ruled on it without arguments. Nobody had ever heard a judge rule on her own motion, much less without arguments. At first it was hard to make sense of the ruling, which basically said I could keep my son until my social worker proved it was safe for him to be returned. Why not just give him to me? "Then they'd have to admit that the group home wasn't safe and they'd have to return all those other kids," my attorney explained. I panicked. By leaving the decision in Rhonda Wilson's hands, the situation didn't seem changed at all. There was nothing to stop her from simply calling the next day and saying "It's safe. Return him." But my attorney explained this was a big victory, that the burden of proof had shifted from me to them. The judge had presumed it was safe for Buster to stay with me, so I no longer had to prove it. Rhonda Wilson called the next day and said "It's safe, return him." "Don't tell me it's safe," I said. "Tell the court. You've got to prove to them that it's safe, not me." She was furious. "That wasn't what the judge ruled." "Yes it was," I said, knowing full well that neither of us were actually there when the ruling was made.. "My lawyer told me I could keep him." "Well that's not what I was told," she replied a little unsurely. "I was told that his return was left at my discretion." She was truly unhappy at my assertion that she had been overruled, but she had to face the fact that the ruling was ambiguous and could be interpreted in my favor. Now that Buster was in my possession, the burden of proof was back on her to justify another removal from his home. She called the next day. "Mr. Dare, we do not believe you had the right to pick up your child from the group home. But since you have already done it, your son obviously thinks he's staying with you, so we believe it would be detrimental to return him. We don't think it's good for him to be shuttled back and forth. Though we disagree with what you did, for his mental well being, we will recommend to the court today that your son be released to you until the next hearing." I took Buster with me several times to see Dr. Tirengal, my court appointed therapist. I didn't mind. I wanted the court to hear that my son was doing well from someone they trusted. I was out of the room when Dr. Tirengal asked Buster "If there was anything at home that you could change, what would it be?" When the parents aren't around, this is a standard question asked of children who are potentially abused. It gives them the opportunity to say "I wish daddy wouldn't hit me" or "I wish they wouldn't tie me to the bed." After giving the question serious thought, Buster replied "I'd like to change the water in the goldfish bowl." A month later, he was finally legally and physically mine. I feel better now. There is no precise moment when the pain stopped. There are all the day to day pains of living to take the place of the single predominant pain that occupied my life for so long. At least I'm no longer apt to break into tears at strange moments. As the one person on earth who actually benefited from the riots, I want to thank the judge in the Rodney King case, Stanley Weisberg, who was also the judge in the McMartin Preschool case, and who is also the very same judge who gave me custody of Buster three years previously. His original decision has withstood a brutal attack, and stands steadfast once again. My son is mine, not just because Weisberg's original decision was sound, but because one of his juries made a horrible mistake, and I decided to stand my ground. The city went crazy, 50 lives were lost, but I got my son back. I want to thank the Rodney King jury for returning my son to me in the most profoundly appalling possible way. Thanks a lot. I also want to ask them if they believe the Warren Commission since they suffer from the same strange malady; they believe what others tell them rather than their own lying eyes. One look at the Zapruder film and you can't fail to notice that Kennedy's head is knocked back and to the left. A simple combination of optical input and common sense leads anyone with the slightest knowledge of the laws of physics to come to the conclusion that the bullet came from the front and to the right. Yet people still insist upon believing experts who tell them the opposite. One look at the Rodney King tape and you can't fail to notice that an unarmed man is getting severely beaten by several other men armed with sticks and guns. Charles Manson did not get treated that way when he was arrested. Sirhan Sirhan was shown all the courtesies when he was escorted to jail. But Rodney King, a man guilty of driving too fast and acting belligerent, was beaten within an inch of his life. The cops may have been following established procedure, but to a whole lot of people, that was no excuse. The jury insisted upon believing the experts who told them the opposite of what they could see with their own eyes. How can we explain away people with such little regard for their own senses? Why do they trust others more than they trust themselves? How can so many people conclude that their own eyes are wrong? Though there's no justification for the damage they did during the riots, the actual community of south central insisted upon believing their own eyes, that Rodney King, despite being a sleazeball, behaved like Gandhi before him, defying authority in the strongest and most moral possible way. He kept standing up. "As a net is made up of a series of ties, so everything in this world is connected by a series of ties. If anyone thinks that the mesh of a net is an independent, isolated thing, he is mistaken. It is called a net because it is made up of a series of interconnected meshes, and each mesh has its place and responsibility in relation to other meshes." - Buddha - ************************************************* ONE OF THE TOP 25 ENTERTAINMENT SITES ON THE NET says E-On-line Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle when visiting http://home.earthlink.net/~dare2b/ ************************************************* Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------��� The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! If you don't wish to see such material...then DON'T click them! This is your only warning! 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