���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->���
                                     and
���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->���
                                   presents

<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!--------------------->

Grab a seat and get ready to roar in laughter...you have reached
the original home of PUREHUMOUR!  In the unlikely event that you
no longer wish to receive the "Best Humour on the Net" then you will
find the unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every mailing!

We can dream right?  The largest lottery jackpot in Canadian history
is on the line tonight as the Super 7 reaches an estimated $34 million
or about $2.50 US  ;)  Now think how $34 million would change your
life....for one I would invest in the best computer that money would buy...
a new vehicle for me is a must...one for my wife too...and my son who
just got his license would get one too...new house...trip to Australia for
me and a few friends and I would still have pocket change left over to
give some to charity and make it so that my life would be very
comfortable....ahh the stuff that dreams are made of...who knows...
I just may become the richest ezine owner on the planet....cross
your fingers for me!

Today's issue includes contributions by: Kathy, SunAmy, Stan, Keli,
Skeeter, Michael, Carroll, Marsha, John, Rubin, Barb.

If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a>

���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------���
Lets start with a quickie:

What did the fish say when it ran into a brick wall?

"DAM"

���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------���

Yo Momma...
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.367 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.367

Wonder how it broke?
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.369 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.369

���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------���
Today's issue is brought to you by:

FREE Mousepad with built-in Calculator! Provide your
shipping info and they will send you a FREE Mousepad
with a built in Calculator!
<a href=" http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?B=5505&U=57171&M=1626 ">Click</a>
http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?B=5505&U=57171&M=1626

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. Lena went
every Sunday and taught Sunday School. Ole went on Christmas and
Easter and once in awhile he went on one of the other Sundays.

On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and
he noticed vhat a fine looking woman she was. Vhile dey were
taking up the collection, Ole leaned forward and said,

"Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next
Friday?"

"Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena.

Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. All week long he polished up
his old Ford, and on Friday he picked Lena up and took her to the
finest restaurant in New Ulm. When they sat down, Ole looked over
at Lena and said,

"Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School
class?"

Vell, Ole was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after
dinner. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of
cigarettes.

"Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?"

"Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School
class?"

Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in
his Ford and vas driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs
Motel. He'd struck out twice already, so he figured he had
nothing to lose.

"Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel
with me?"

"Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena.

Vell, Ole couldn't believe his luck. He did a U-turn right then
and there across the median and everything, and drove back to the
motel and checked in vith Lena.

The next morning Ole got up first. He looked at Lena lying there
in the bed, her blond curls on the pillow. "Vat have I done? Vat
have I done?" thought Ole. He shook Lena and she woke up. "Lena,
I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. "Vat are you going to
tell your Sunday School class?"

"Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. You don't have to
smoke or drink to have a good time!"

���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------���

LIKE MY LIST?

Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend?

Vote Now :
<a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a>
���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------���

Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day!
<a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a>
http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

Three Frenchmen, one in his twenties, one forties, and the
elder in his sixties were discussing " savoir-faire ".

The youngest said, " 'savoir-faire is', When one comes home
unexpected.....finds his wife in bed with another man, says
'oh,excuse me' ".

The middle-aged one said," No,no,no.....'savoir-faire' is,
When one comes home unexpected.....finds his wife in bed
with another man, says,'oh,excuse me,... carry on' ".

The eldest said, " No, no, no, you both are wrong......'
savoir-faire" is, When one comes home unexpected..... finds
his wife in bed with another man , says, ' Oh, excuse me ,
carry on.' and he does".

���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL----------------------���

I tried to get a new poll...but I was drunk!

Check out the poll at:
<a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">FunStop</a>
http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/

���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------���

"A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with
two watches is never quite sure."
-Lee Segall

���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------���

Poor dog...
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.370 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.370

Life's subtle hints...
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.75 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.75

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

On beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following
people are stranded, each group on separate islands:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the
middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a
menage a trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits
with the German woman.


The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.


The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
English woman.


The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another
long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor/store/restaurant/
laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees
for their store.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because
the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature
of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of
fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm
trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and
treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother
is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set up a
distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets
sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they're
satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

���------------------------TOON TIME--------------------------------���

Julia Roberts Before & After The Buffet
<a href=" http://www.comedyezine.com/vero8.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.comedyezine.com/vero8.htm

Catherine Zeta Jones Before & After The Buffet
<a href=" http://www.comedyezine.com/vero9.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.comedyezine.com/vero9.htm

Elizabeth Hurly Before & After The Buffet
<a href=" http://www.comedyezine.com/vero7.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.comedyezine.com/vero7.htm

Jennifer Love Hewitt Before & After The Buffet
<a href=" http://www.comedyezine.com/vero6.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.comedyezine.com/vero6.htm

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

Little Johnny had reached school age.  His Mother managed with a blast of
propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea.  She bought him
lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet and so on.

Came the first day, he eagerly went off and came back home with a
lot of glowing reports about school.

Next morning when she woke him up, he asked "What for?"  She told
him it was time to get ready for school.

"What, again?" he asked.

���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------���

Lovers Caught on Tape!  People caught with their "pants down"
in the strangest places...hidden cameras capture ALL the action
from beginning to end...you see the CLIMAX!  Ever wonder what
would happen if YOUR boss had a camera trained on you...well
these folks found out the HARD way!
<a href="http://www.vidbidness-partners.com/b.asp?id=1101";>Click</a>
http://www.vidbidness-partners.com/b.asp?id=1101

���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------���

If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out
"Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family
laugh."

<a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a>
http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut smoking the ceremonial
pipe and eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man
for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have
seen all his progress and all his problems."

The chief nodded.

The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion
where has the white man gone wrong?"

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then
calmly replied: "When white man found this land Indians were running it.
No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Plenty beaver. Women did most of the
work. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time."

The chief smiled and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to think he
could improve system like that."

���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------���

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some
support soon, people will think we're nuts."

���-------------------------DEAR AGGIE--------------------------------���

Dear Aggie:

I just have to tell you that I LOVE
your answers.  Some of the morons that
write to you deserve more sh*t then you
sometimes give em, but hey, who's keeping
score right?!  Anyway, just wanted to tell
you thanks a ton for the laughs and keep up
the great work!

Aggie FAN IN CA.

]~[

Dear Aggie fan in the land of fruits and nuts....
(where they are just waiting on the last ones to
get there before sliding off into the Pacific)

Why, thank you dear. You must come for tea someday
soon ! You can ignore my hubby Bruno, he may hump
your leg, but he's harmless.

Aggie

[And now a special personal note from Aggie:]

Hello, dear readers.

This is Aggie speaking. I have been informed that my
column will be discontinued due to lack of interest.
I would like to say that I have enjoyed my correspondences
with you all. I would like to say that. Actually, you can
all go fart in a barrel, as my hubby Bruno would say. No,
seriously, everyone, I AM a real person, and it has given me
great pleasure writing to you. I will close with only this,
and I hope that you all will take it to heart....."It's not
so much what you do, as what you inspire those around you to
do."

And Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.......

Aggie

NEW...check out Aggie's Webpage at:
<a href="http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/aggie/";>Dear Aggie</a>
http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/aggie/

���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------���

Some Really fresh Sushi...
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.79 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.79

I said "SIT"...
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.119 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.119

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

<A Classic!>

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could
think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that
the entirety of the human experience could be found there.

After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher,
I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS."

The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere
and that he would search for it. The following week after service,
the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which
read: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

���--------------------STREET SCENES (tm)---------------------------���

A woman watches in her rear view mirror as sharp looking dude in
the car in front of me combs his hair very carefully and precisely.
Just as carefully, he places a close fitting cap over the perfect
hairdo. The woman looks in her sideview mirror and catches my
eye. We exchange big grins and she salutes me with a 'go figure'
gesture. The traffic moves onward.

Street Scenes (TM)
An occasional contributor to ehumour.
By CourierAnn
Copyright 2002

���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------���

This guy goes to the doctor for a vasectomy. Unlike the usual
patients,he shows up in a limo, and he's sitting in the doctor's office
in a rented tuxedo with black tie. The doctor says "I've done a lot of
these, but I've never seen a limo and tuxedo before. What's the story?"
To which the fellow responds "If I'm gonna BE im-potent, I'm gonna LOOK
im-potent!"

���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------���

You Don't Have A Clue
<a href=" http://www.comedyezine.com/vero10.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.comedyezine.com/vero10.htm

Two Things You Should Never Do In The Bedroom
<a href=" http://roseys.net/jillsprog5.htm ">Click</a>
http://roseys.net/jillsprog5.htm

My Hairdresser Was Upset Today
<a href=" http://roseys.net/jillsprog6.htm ">Click</a>
http://roseys.net/jillsprog6.htm

Lower Lower Mr Mower
<a href=" http://roseys.net/jillsprog4.htm ">Click</a>
http://roseys.net/jillsprog4.htm

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal
deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock them. The
man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant
passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never
stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from
this store only weeks ago and has done for several years. The pharmacist
asks man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the
product. The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows
the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer
thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm
stick variety. The customer explains that instructions on reverse state,
"Push up bottom to use."

���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------���

YOU WIN!  A FREE CD of your choice...many titles
to choose from...all for being a part of Purehumour!
Get YOUR FREE CD today:
<a href="http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/free/";>FREE!</a>
http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/free

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing
her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very
difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation,"
she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of
pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"

A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse
me, but how do you make it last an hour?"

���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------���

One angry Dog...
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.133 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.133

Nah, that's not going to work.
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.135 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.135

���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------���

Doctors say men run the risk of injuring themselves
when they take off a woman's bra.

A report in a medical journal says one patient suffered
major ligament damage and a fracture to one of his
fingers while completing the task.

The man ended up with his finger in a splint for three
weeks after picking up the injury, which is often
associated with rock climbing.

It also says surveys show 40% of men in their 30s and
40s have problems removing bras.

It adds a recent test found men spent an average of 27
seconds taking them off using both hands.

The article, which will be in the August issue of the
British Journal of Plastic Surgery, says right-handed
men using their left hand took an average of 58 seconds.
While one unfortunate volunteer took 20 minutes.

The case of the 27-year-old man who injured his finger
is cited by plastic surgeons from St Georges's Hospital
in London.

The Daily Mail quotes reconstructive surgeon Andrew
Fleming as saying: "It was a very nasty injury to the
second knuckle down the finger. It was the type of thing
that is more commonly associated with sport, particularly
rock climbing."

He says the man twisted the finger when it got caught
between the double straps of a lady's bra.

Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains
a previously published News Report.  If you find an article
that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of
the publication and date to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a>
IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of
Weird News Weekly:
<a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/ ">WNW</a>
���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler

* Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a
Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo"
* There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent
to need to know if you have experience in jungle
warfare.
* Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being
issued oars.
* Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign
military uniforms.
* In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to
deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their
grandmother in Miami.
* Consider very carefully visiting a country where the
license plate motto is "Die American Pig"

���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------���

[||||]     M O N I K E R    M I L I E U    [||||]

According to the Social Security Administration, Jacob, Matthew and
Michael were the top boys' tags in 2001 while Emily, Ashley and Alexis
copped distaff honors.   (USA Today)

Bottom feeders were, in order of rejection, Osama, Saddam, Yasser, Puff,
Ozzy, Tonya and Paula.

Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved.
http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup
���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

Limericks!

A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic;
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!"

There was a woman from Buffalo
who challenged a fellow to show
that he could pee
higher than she
How could the stout fellow say no?

So they went on out back of the pub
She put her puss on the wall and said "Bub,
I'm goin' first
I'm about to burst"
then proceeded to let go a flood.

She managed about three feet high
So the bub whipped open his fly
grabbed hold of his thing
but the "lady" did sing
"The rules are no hands by the by!"

���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------���

Bingo on your computer...big prizes to be won!
<a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/20.html ">Click</a>

���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------���

Makes you wonder??
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.141 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.141

One big fart.
<a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.143 ">Click Here </a>
http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.143

���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------���

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package
basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some
learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of
knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English
literature."

The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new
knowledge about English literature!

"What else do you have?" asks the student.

"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world
history," replies the pharmacist.

The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new
knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks,
"Do you have a pill for math?"

The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back into the
storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on
the counter.

"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.

The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know math always was a
little hard to swallow."

���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------���

Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.

���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------���

The American Dream: Blood, Sweat & Tears
By Kim Burke

For those of you who are wealthy beyond comprehension and have never
struggled to make ends meet in your entire life, you will not be able to
relate to the following story involving Jack and Nicole and the struggle
ordinary people go through to build a better life for themselves.

On the other hand, those of you who have used an ice chest as a refrigerator
at one time or another or have enjoyed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as
a main meal for more than one week straight, hello real people!  I believe
you will relate to and enjoy the struggles of Jack and Nicole.

Jack and Nicole are your everyday, All-American married couple.  Jack is a
carpenter and has his own company and Nicole works as an office manager at a
doctor's office in their small town.

Jack and Nicole had recently purchased an old Victorian home, which needed a
major face-lift and some dire remodeling work on the interior of the house.

It has been said that when one thing goes awry watch out because everything
else falls in uniform like dominoes.

Walls were replaced, ceilings were crafted and a new water heater was
installed.  Bathroom fixtures, ceiling fans and wallpaper were purchased and
Jack and Nicole were on the verge of starting a new life in their soon-to-be
restored home.  However, there were many things that needed to be completed.
Many, many things.

Two months before the move, Jack's business slowed down to a dead halt and
Nicole's checks couldn't pay all of the bills and feed a bird, much less a
family.

As an aside, two weeks before the downslide began, perhaps it was not a good
idea for Nicole to pray and ask God to help her lose some weight.  An
all-knowing, all understanding God knew how much will power Nicole had,
which was zero.  There was only one alternative.

Have you ever tried the poverty diet?  Nicole's take on the whole situation
was, "If you can't buy the good food, what's the point of eating at all?"

A grilled cheese sandwich sounds great when you know you have stocked
cabinets of canned goods, steak in the freezer and cookies in the pantry.
However, if there is no Miracle Whip in the refrigerator, to heck with the
bread and cheese.

It is no wonder Jesus didn't mind breaking bread with his disciples, it was
bread.  Who wants to lord over bread?

While trying to tie up all of the loose ends in the house so Jack and Nicole
could move in and considering their monetary struggles, it was a sad day
when Jack discovered a problem with the plumbing.

There are many items people really can live without.  A toilet is not one of
them.  Nicole considered calling 911 for emergency assistance.  After all,
if the potty isn't working, you will become stopped up and this could
require medical attention.  Isn't 911 supposed to intervene in times of
crisis?

Be that as it may, Jack and Nicole conjured up enough money to fix the
plumbing problem and buy a new toilet.

There were moments when Nicole would take a break and sit in the bathroom.
She didn't take a break in the bathroom because of the usually reasons for
doing so.  Nicole took a break in the bathroom because it was the only room
in the house that was completed.  Finally, a throne fit for a queen.

There were hassles with selecting appropriate patterns, doors, knobs and
even nails.  There were times when Jack and Nicole had seven bucks between
them and said in unison, "Malt-O-Meal and Milk".  There were days of work
upon work that seemed to overlap days into nights and back into days again
without any separation.  At times, Nicole caught herself painting kitchen
cabinets with her eyes closed and Jack nearly pasted himself into the living
room wallpaper.

It was a time of Whine and Dozes and they thought it would never end.
However, little by little, with hard work and determination, exasperation,
exhaustion and a small amount of faith, Jack and Nicole made it through.  It
is written that all you need is the faith of a mustard seed.  Jack and
Nicole needed to eat the mustard seed but just when they thought they couldn
't take another challenging moment, Jack's business picked back up again and
Nicole could finally complete her day job without nodding off at the water
fountain.

There was still much work to be done but the basics were completed, the
moving day came and by the time the last box was moved Jack had to use the
dolly to move Nicole, as well.  Jack and Nicole celebrated their first night
in their new home with a candlelit dinner of delivered pizza and a bottle of
champagne.  And just as romance was about to make an entrance, Jack and
Nicole exited by falling sound asleep for the next twelve hours.

We all wish Jack and Nicole the best in their venture to capture the
American dream.  We also realize Jack and Nicole will soon discover there is
no end to the American dream and will be creating new add-on adventures for
years to come.  Hopefully with a toilet that never fails and a refrigerator
full of Miracle Whip.

--

The author and creator of Incidents & Accidents: the column, the book (still
seeking publisher) and the website is Kim Burke - because life's too short
for ordinary idiots! If you enjoy humor, prizes and a great community to
involve yourself in, there is no gas required to travel to:
www.incidentsandaccidents.com. Kim resides with her husband, Richard and
daughter, Christy in Arkansas. On a mountain. Sometimes barefoot! Email
Kim at [EMAIL PROTECTED]

Your article length submissions are welcome...send your
humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a>
Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and
may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed
written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour.
���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------���
The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material
that could offend you...pure and simple!  If you don't wish to see such
material...then DON'T click them! This is your only warning!

Naughty-amateur.com
<a 
href="http://www2.naughty-amateur.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=na&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.naughty-amateur.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=na&program=unique

Peemasters.com
<a 
href="http://www2.peemasters.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=pm&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.peemasters.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=pm&program=unique

Perfectorgy.com
<a 
href="http://www2.perfectorgy.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=po&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.perfectorgy.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=po&program=unique

Pornwannabe.com
<a 
href="http://www2.pornwannabe.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=pw&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.pornwannabe.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=pw&program=unique

Secretfetish.com
<a 
href="http://www2.secretfetishes.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=sf&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.secretfetishes.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=sf&program=unique

Soapboys.com
<a 
href="http://www2.soapboys.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=sb&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.soapboys.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=sb&program=unique

Sweetcherrys.com
<a 
href="http://www2.sweetcherrys.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=sc&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.sweetcherrys.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=sc&program=unique

Teenfactory.com
<a 
href="http://www2.teenfactory.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=tf&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.teenfactory.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=tf&program=unique

Upskirtschool.com
<a 
href="http://www2.upskirtschool.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=us&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.upskirtschool.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=us&program=unique

xxxtryouts.com
<a 
href="http://www2.xxxtryouts.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=xt&program=unique";>Click</a>
http://www2.xxxtryouts.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=xt&program=unique

More adult sites:
www.paulsfunhouse.com/adult/

���--------------------------EZINE RESOURCES--------------------���
These are the location of some of the best ezines on the net...
if you like mine...check out some of these others:

Get anything from Astrology to Zebras for FREE!
Sign up for FREE Ezines and Newsletters on any subject
and you'll be amazed at the stuff you'll get!
Your enjoyment is guaranteed for life or you money back!
<a href=" http://www.funezines.com/index.cgi?referrer=pure ">FunEzines</a>

For MORE things than you could possibly want check out the following
pages:

Free Offers Top pages
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/freebies-pure.htm ">Click Me</a>

Business & Finance Offers:
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/busn-pure.htm ">Click Me</a>

Health and Family Related Offers
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/health-pure.htm ">Click Me</a>

Free Magazines & Book Offers
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/mags-pure.htm ">Click Me</a>

Free Internet & Computer Related Offers
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/net-pure.htm ">Click Me</a>

Free Sweepstakes
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/sweeps-pure.htm ">Click Me</a>
���--------------------IMPORTANT INFORMATION!--------------------���
When forwarding this ezine please leave this trailer message
in place.

None of this material is considered copyright...it is
considered in the public domain. If any material is
copyrighted please notify me at <a href=" 
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Copyright</a>
and proper credit will  be given. It has been collected from various
sources and submitters names have been included when given.

Paul Croft - Owner/Editor-In-Chief/Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour!
Contact me: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Paul's Address</a>

Do you have a product, website or mailing list??  Interested in
advertising on Purehumour??
Ad rates are only $2.00 CPM
More details?
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Ad Rates</a>

Email submissions to:
Jokes: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Send Jokes</a>

Purehumour Joke Ezine as a whole is copyright � Paul Croft-2002
All Worldwide rights reserved! Purehumour is published in small town
Canada...all views expressed are not necessarily those of the
publisher and should not be taken as such...they are meant in the
spirit of humour and nothing else!  If offended by a selection in this
issue...please hit delete!

Some material in Purehumour is written exclusively for Purehumour...
this material is marked as such!  Copyright is retained by the original
author and any reproduction in whole or in part without the expressed
written permission of the author and also the publisher of Purehumour
is strictly prohibited!

The BEST Lists around:

Purehumour (the Original)-Sent Almost Daily:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=subscribe 
">Purehumour</a>
            or visit: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists Page</a>

PHWeekly  (Purehumour Lite) - Sent Saturdays
Subscribe: <a href=" 
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=subscribe ">PHWeekly</a>
            or visit: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists Page</a>

Weird News Ezine (A clean look at bizarre news) - Sent Saturdays
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=subscribe 
">Weird News Weekly</a>
            or visit: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists Page</a>

To cancel (unsubscribe) from these mailings...please visit:
<a href=" http://unsubscribe.paulsfunhouse.com ">Unsubscribe Page</a>

These are the worst jokes in history...the jokes that were banned from 
Purehumour...get them now!  Send a blank email to: <this is an autoresponder>
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Banned Jokes</a>

Archives at: <a href=" http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj ">Archives</a>

Website: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com ">Homepage</a>



Reply via email to