���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->��� and ���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->��� presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!---------------------> PUREHUMOUR is sent by request ONLY...if you wish to stop receiving these mailings then please visit: <a href=" http://unsubscribe.paulsfunhouse.com/purehumour.html ">Click</a> I am sitting in front of my computer trying to find something "witty" to say... and it is damn near impossible! I guess today it will be a "nothing" day! Survivor 5 is back on TV....16 people stranded in Thailand in the middle of the monsoon season....Big Brother is almost done....once there were 12... and now there are only 3 remaining...Amy the "southern belle" was evicted for the second time last night! The Amazing Race III starts in a couple of weeks....so I guess Reality TV is not dead after all! My guess is in a couple of years there will be enough reality TV episodes around to make 24/7 reality TV channel....ALL SURVIVOR ALL DAY...we may get to see Richard naked all over again! Have a good weekend.... Today's issue includes contributions by: SunAmy, Posey, The Posens, Stan, Michael, Mikey, Barbie, Ron, Marina, Rubin. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� Lets start with a quickie: Things were getting pretty hot in the back of my car when she screamed out...."Kiss Me Where it Smells!!" So I drove her to New Jersey! ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Some Really fresh Sushi... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.79 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.79 I said "SIT"... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.119 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.119 ���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------��� Today's issue is brought to you by: LARGER BREASTS !!!!!!!! LONGER THICKER PENIS !!!!!! WINNING LOTTERY NUMBERS !!!!! A SHOPPING CART WITHOUT ONE WOBBLY WHEEL !!!! No, I can't promise you any of those things, but pick up a copy of "That's Comedy! on CD" and I will promise you plenty of giggles, a whole bunch of chuckles, many guffaws and the possibility that you may laugh so hard you'll pass an entire cheese sandwich through your nose. It makes a great gift. Order a copy today. Click the link for more info. <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?" "No," he replied, "I've never done either." "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" inquired the doctor. "No, I've never done any of those things either." "Well then," said the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a hundred for?" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------��� Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ���----------------------TODAY IN HISTORY-----------------------��� If today is your birthday...you share it with: 1941 Dale Chihuly Tacoma Wash, artist in glass (Louis Tiffany Award 1967) 1941 John A Wismont Jr Calif, watercolor painter (over 50,000) 1950 Debi Morgan Dunn NC, actress (Angie-All My Children, Cry Uncle) 1950 Loredana Berte Milan Italy, 2nd wife of Bjorn Borg 1951 Guy LaFleur Quebec, NHL right wing (Montreal, NY Rangers) 1951 JoAnna Cameron Colo, actress (I Love My Wife, Isis) 1954 Brinke Stevens [Charlene Brinkman] Ca, actr (Slumber Party Massacre) 1954 Silvio Leonard Cuba, 100m sprinter (Olympic-silver-1980) 1957 Fran Drescher NYC, actress (Cadillac Man) 1957 Vladmir Tkachenko USSR, basketball (Olympic-bronze-1980) 1959 Alannah Currie rocker (Thompson Twins-Doctor, Doctor) 1966 Nuno Bettencourt Azores, rock guitarist (Extreme-More Than Words) 1967 Gunnar Nelson rock singer (Nelsons-Love & Affection) 1967 Matthew Nelson rock singer (Nelsons-Love & Affection) .....and on this day in history: 1951 1st North Pole jet crossing 1951 Ford Frick elected commissioner of baseball 1954 1st FORTRAN computer program run 1954 1st National People's Congress adopts Chinese constitution 1954 Roger Bannister awarded Britain's Silver Pears Trophy 1958 Baltimore Oriole knuckler Hoyt Wilhelm no-hits NY Yankees 1-0 1958 Martin Luther King Jr stabbed in chest by a deranged black woman in NYC 1960 UN General Assembly admit 13 African countries & Cyprus (96 nations) 1961 After 84 1/3 innings Bill Fischer gives up a base on balls 1961 Roger Maris hits home run # 59 & barely misses # 60 in game 154 of the season. Yanks clinch pennant #26 1962 James Meredith is blocked from entering Miss U as its 1st black 1964 Paramount theater (NYC) presented the Beatles & Steve & Eydie 1966 US Surveyor B launched toward Moon; crashed Sept 23 1967 Hurricane Beulah hits Texas-Mexican border, kills 38 1968 Mickey Mantle hits final career homer # 536 1969 Pitts Pirate Bob Moose no-hits NY Giants, 4-0 1970 Luna 16 lands on Moon's Mare Fecunditatis, drills core sample 1972 Police find cannabis growing on Paul & Linda McCartney's farm 1973 Billy Jean King beats Bobby Riggs in battle-of-sexes tennis match 1973 Willie Mays announces retirement at end of 1973 season 1975 David Bowie's "Fame," single goes #1 for 2 weeks 1975 Gary Sentman draws a record 176 lb longbow to a maximum 28�" draw 1976 Playboy releases Jimmy Carter's interview that he lusts for women 1976 Sid Berstein offers $230 million charity concert for Beatle reunion 1977 Voyager 2 launched for fly-by of Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune 1979 Bloodless coup in Central African Rep overthrows Emperor Bokassa I 1979 NASA launches HEAO 1980 Plaque dedicated in Thurman Munson's memory at Yankee Stadium 1980 Spectacular Bid runs in Belmont alone as 3 horses drop out 1981 Joe Danelo kicks then NY Giant record 55 yard field goal 1982 NFL players begin a 57 day strike 1983 3,112 turn out to see the Pirates play the NY Mets at Shea Stadium 1984 Suicide car bomb attacks US Embassy annex in Beirut 1985 Curtis Strong is convicted for selling cocaine to pro baseball players 1985 Walt Disney World's 200-millionth guest 1986 Wichita State Shockers blow a 35-3 lead; lose 36-35 to Morehead State 1987 Alain Prost wins record 28th Formula one auto race 1987 Walter Payton scores NFL record 107th rushing touchdown 1990 Both Germanys ratify reunification 1990 Saddam Hussein demands US networks broadcast his message �2002 http://www.scopesys.com/today/ ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A businessman, on his deathbed, called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.'" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� FREE GIFT just for signing up to Purehumour Ad-Free! Sign up NOW and you will get an instant free gift in addition to the BEST humour around...all without any ads at all! Guaranteed! <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ">Click</a> http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL----------------------��� Is Bush gonna blink? Check out the poll at: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">FunStop</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------��� Sound really does travel slower than light. The advice parents give to their 18 year olds doesn't reach them until they're about 40. -Unknown ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Snatch Receipt <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08a.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08a.html Grow A Foot <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08e.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08e.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� <A Classic!> An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the doorframe, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife...... "Back off!" she yelled, "They're for the funeral!" ���------------------------TOON TIME--------------------------------��� One angry Dog... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.133 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.133 Nah, that's not going to work. <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.135 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.135 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips.. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Lovers Caught on Tape! People caught with their "pants down" in the strangest places...hidden cameras capture ALL the action from beginning to end...you see the CLIMAX! Ever wonder what would happen if YOUR boss had a camera trained on you...well these folks found out the HARD way! <a href="http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/29.html";>Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/29.html ���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------��� If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. Companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security. ���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------��� A penny saved is a government oversight. ���-------------------------QUIZ QUEEN------------------------------��� What event do Mexicans and Mexican-Americans celebrate on Sept. 16? A. Mardi Gras B. Mexican Independence Day C. The Day of the Dead D. Thanksgiving --- Many common English words are very similar to Spanish vocabulary. Which word did NOT come from Spanish? A. Armadillo B. Banana C. Cafeteria D. Cookie <Answers in Next Issue!> Last Issue's Answers: When compared to the other 49 states, which claim can California NOT make? D. Largest percentage living in rural areas --- The flag of India is three horizontal bars. An emblem is centered on the white field. What are the other two colors represented on the flag? A. Dark orange and green � Copyright 2002 Dawggone Communications Website: http://quizqueen.net Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Command <a href=" http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/025.html ">Click</a> http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/025.html I Have More Nuts Than You <a href=" http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/024.html ">Click</a> http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/024.html ���---------------NON SMOKING SECTION-------------------------��� <To comply with recent internet law changes...Purehumour will now present a daily non-smoking section...this section is fully smoke-free...I do not smoke while creating it...and you are requested not to smoke while you read it! You co-operation is expected.> According to a recent survey, a large number of men do not wash their hands before leaving the restroom. The survey-taker said he stood in the restroom for a week, observing men going in and out. 40% of the men wash their hands, 40% of the men did not wash their hands, and 20% of the men punched the guy in the face for watching them go to the restroom. <End of non-smoking section...please light your tobacco products once more> ���---------------DUSTING OFF THE ARCHIVES---------------��� In an attempt to boost the number of visits to the Purehumour archives...in each issue I will highlight today's date in the archives from the past three years...take a look at todays issue in history to see how Purehumour has evolved and what was funny in the past! Sept 20 2000 <a href=" http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj/m521.html ">Click</a> http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj/m521.html ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Do you love Purehumour? Enough to open your wallet a little? If you wish to donate to support the continue success of this ezine...please visit the link below...no amount is too small! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------��� An Alabamian hitchhiker was picked up by a guy in a big Lincoln Continental. The Alabamian noticed a bunch of golf tees on the front seat and asked, "What are those things for?" The driver said, "They're to hold my balls when I drive." "Boy," exclaimed the Alabamian, "these Lincoln Continentals have everything, don't they?" ���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------��� PacMan <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/pac.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/pac.html The Shell Game <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/shellgame.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/shellgame.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A man and his wife, who was 8 months pregnant, were shopping in crowded mall. They had been trading humorous insults for most of the evening and the man decided that he was going to really get her. He announced in a loud voice, "If you don't stop insulting me, I'm not going to marry you!" He was disappointed that only a few people around them reacted but his wife managed to bring down the house when she responded, "That's ok, I won't tell you who the father is!" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� YOU WIN! A FREE CD of your choice...many titles to choose from...all for being a part of Purehumour! Get YOUR FREE CD today: <a href="http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/free/";>FREE!</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/free ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� You know there is a new baby in the house when.... * Hubby drops to #2 on the list of people drooling at the sight of your breasts. * Store clerks don't look at you so funny when you buy your regular weekly supply of diapers. * Finally, someone you can beat at "Got Your Nose," at least for a year or so. * You develop a liking for minivans, sensible shoes, and a deep-seated contempt for Michael Jackson. * You're not so tolerant of strangers asking to touch your round little belly anymore now that you're just FAT. * Goodbye, Happy Hour -- Hello, Happy Meal! ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Golf Lesson <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08f.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08f.html Dog Butt <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08g.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-08g.html ���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------��� Police in New Zealand are investigating claims that officers sent out an email featuring a peek up a Scotsman's kilt. It's claimed the email was sent to somebody outside the police force and then mistakenly forwarded to about 20 schools. A Police National Headquarters spokesman said the email was, "to put it succinctly, a worm's-eye view up a Scotsman's kilt". The "very embarrassing" incident was acted on quickly by police bosses, who have temporarily shifted the officers under suspicion from their normal roles. Police confirmed three officers are under investigation, with the possible involvement of a fourth. They haven't ruled out the possibility that other officers were involved. Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/ ">WNW</a> ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. "Hmm," says the vet, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to put him down" "Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man. "No, because he's heavy," said the vet. ���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------��� [||||] E N R O N D A L E ' S [||||] Five former Enron boardroom hunks bare their bottom lines in the October issue of Playgirl Mag. (AP) * Whilst cleverly concealing their major assets from the shareholders, of course. * Check out the special centerfold on page 401 (k). Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A man from the East Coast is visiting California for the first time, and is conversing with a California native. He says, "I'll be visiting La Jolla (lah-JOLL-a) next week," whereupon the Californian replies, "Oh, you mean, 'La-*HOY-a'?" "Oh. Yeah, I guess so." Then he adds, "But right now I'm staying in El Cajon (el-ca-JOHN)," and again the Californian corrects him, "You mean, El Ca 'HONE'?" "Oh. Yeah, right." Then the Californian asks, "So when will you be returning home?" The East Coast guy thinks about it for a minute and then answers, "Oh, I don't know, I guess sometime in 'HUNE' or 'HULY'." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Bingo on your computer...big prizes to be won! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/20.html ">Click</a> ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Makes you wonder?? <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.141 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.141 One big fart. <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.143 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.143 ���---------DUMB CROOK OF THE DAY AWARD---------��� I was working an overtime detail with our Sheriff's Office Investigator that runs our "Combating Underage Drinking" enforcement unit, and was en route to investigate a loud party where minors were consuming alcohol. LOTS of alcohol. When we arrived (in an undercover Jeep Cherokee), not much notice was had, but when the unmarked Ford Crown Victoria pulled in behind us, the kids scattered. The party was being "hosted" by an 18 year old (who's mom & dad were away for the weekend), who had a pretty sophisticated music system set up. This "host" was the D.J., and had a wireless microphone headset attached to some loud (very, VERY loud) amplifiers and speakers. (You DO know where this is headed, don't you?) This silly guy runs through the yard and house yelling, "HIDE THE BEER! HIDE THE LIQUOR! THE COPS ARE HERE!!! GET THE STUFF OUT OF THE KITCHEN!! IT'S THE COPS!! IT'S THE COPS!!!!!" Mr. Host has obviously forgotten that he's broadcasting LIVE. We who deal with legal type stuff call this a "Res Gestae" statement. This is, of course, Latin, which means "I'm stupid. I blurt thing out to the cops!" Post script: When we stopped laughing, I think we ended up writing 9 citations for "Minor Consuming Alcoholic Beverage." ���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� What is common between a pregnant girlfriend and a burned cake? In both you wish you had removed it one minute earlier. ���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------��� Hooters Airlines: We'll Love To Fly, And It'll Show By Doug Powers On December 17th, 1903, Orville Wright got on a powered flying machine, took off into a 27-mph wind, stayed aloft for 12 seconds, and flew straight into the history books. The Wright Brothers historic first flight has led to trans-continental crossings, the breaking of the sound barrier, earth orbits, and moon landings. Despite these historic and fascinating achievements, all of which are offspring of that cold Kitty Hawk morning almost a hundred years ago, up to now, your average man will tell you that something's been missing from air travel-- a flight crew with really serious knockers. Enter Robert H. Brooks, chairman of the Hooters of America restaurant chain who is bidding to buy the bankrupt Vanguard Airlines. While Brooks says that he'll operate the new business just like any other airline, with no Hooters girls running up and down the aisle, and no resemblance to any Hooters restaurant, the ears of half the male population perked up when they first heard of a potential business that for now we'll call "Pan-Mamm Airlines." Many people are treating the news like a joke, but it's not, and if you think about it, even if Brooks did run the fledgling airline, that I'll tentatively call "T&A.W.A.", he'll be doing what every other business does in this country; using sex to sell. We see it all day, every day. You can't turn on a television without seeing a man or woman in incredibly skimpy or no clothing, using sex appeal to sell shampoo, blue jeans, or bowling balls. Flip the channel and there's Britney Spears flaunting the ol' 38, and that's just her I.Q. On the next station there's Heather Locklear, whose been in the hands of more rock stars than Peavey, batting the baby-blues to convince women they can look like her if only they use Loreal. Still seeking further sexiness, we change channels again. Another punched button on the remote and there's the Home Shopping Channel with self proclaimed fitness guru Tony Little, who looks like a small, sexually confused pork tenderloin in a pony-tail, trying to sell exercise contraptions, all of which resemble a hamster's exercise wheel that was designed by Steven Hawking. Buying this and getting in shape, says Little, will assist in making us more sexy. It doesn't appear to have worked for him, but you'll be different, of course. I wanted to order one of those things once, but I thought that by the time I figured out how to use it, I'd be nursing a calcified hip and whining because the grandkids forgot my birthday again. Just the stress of putting the machine together would knock a couple of years off my life. Sometimes inactivity is the healthiest option. If sex works for companies with already healthy balance sheets, then those financially troubled businesses should take heed and jump on the perversion bandwagon before it's too late. Partly due to the recent business climate, there is no industry hurting like the airline industry. The "sex sells" motto is universally true, and if the dream of "Tittish Airways" is allowed to become a reality, it will once again be reinforced. Robert Brooks may soon show the rest of the world the proper way to turn around a financially troubled airline. Following the success of countless companies who have made billions using sex to sell, he may make the fledgling "United Areola-lines" nothing more than a Hooters at 30,000 feet. No boring in-flight movies. No male flight attendants who won't stop talking about Liza, and no more of the biggest cup on board being the one containing your coffee. Just good old, testosterone driven, 500-mph fun, where all seats come with a first class view, and, if need be, your stewardess can be used as a floatation device. If Brooks follows my suggestions and creates "Northchest Airlines", I think he'll be the first true success story of the 21st century. After all, sex is what America is all about in this day and age. Nobody seems to care about anything else. The founding principles of this country all take a back seat nowadays to a good set of ta-ta's. Which sells better, copies of the constitution, or Pepsi? Maybe that's part of the problem. Perhaps the youth of today would show more interest in the founding principles and history of this great nation if the founders had bigger bazoingos, which is nothing that can't be fixed by running the cover of high school history books through Photo-Shop. None of that matters now, though, for we're going to have Hooters Airlines. Eat, drink, and be merry, Generation Ritalin, the Mother Ship may soon arrive! Copyright 2002 by Doug Powers -- Doug Powers is a writer of humor who maintains his summer home in mid-Michigan, and in the winter he moves to the south side of the same house and deludes himself into thinking that he has a winter home. He is constantly proofread by his wife and three children. In addition to columns and stories, Doug writes all kinds of short form humor, topical jokes, etc, for Laugh.Com and Airborne Entertainment, supplying humor content to wireless internet subscribers worldwide, except for maybe Calcutta and Bangledesh. Doug can be reached via his website at www.dougpowers.com or email at [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------��� The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! If you don't wish to see such material...then DON'T click them! 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None of this material is considered copyright...it is considered in the public domain. If any material is copyrighted please notify me at <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Copyright</a> and proper credit will be given. It has been collected from various sources and submitters names have been included when given. Paul Croft - Owner/Editor-In-Chief/Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour! Contact me: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Paul's Address</a> Do you have a product, website or mailing list?? Interested in advertising on Purehumour?? Ad rates are only $2.00 CPM More details? <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Ad Rates</a> Email submissions to: Jokes: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Send Jokes</a> Purehumour Joke Ezine as a whole is copyright � Paul Croft-2002 All Worldwide rights reserved! 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