���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->��� and ���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->��� presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!---------------------> Grab a seat and get ready to roar in laughter...you have reached the original home of PUREHUMOUR! In the unlikely event that you no longer wish to receive the "Best Humour on the Net" then you will find the unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every mailing! Well it is the final Long Weekend of summer...the kids are back to school and the trees are beginning to show signs of fall! And most men's thoughts turn to the World Series....oh well...better luck next year! ;) I'm not a baseball fan...but I have watched with interest the ongoing battle between the owners and the players....and really they have forgotten why they play the game! It is supposed to be for the fans...when did all this money come into it? You can help...below is a way that YOU can help to stop this strike! Support the players and the boys of summer will be back! Today's issue includes contributions by: Pat, SunAmy, Puppy, Irish, John, Gerald. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� Lets start with a quickie: Why are famous people always cool? Because they are surrounded by fans! ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Don't play with that... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.992 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.992 The Winners... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.991 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.991 ���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------��� Today's issue is brought to you by: That's Comedy! on CD Over 550 funny photos in two interactive click albums Over 100 Megs of funny files, video clips, sound clips and games A forty page electronic joke book - The Best of That's Comedy! All for the price of a cup of coffee - a really expensive cup of coffee. Act now and you'll also receive a free paper sleeve to keep the CD in!!!! PLUS.... A label!!!! All shipped to you in an attractive brown manila envelope complete with exotic Canadian stamp!!! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� As we all know...Major League Baseball players are just hours away from going on strike...BUT you can stop this from happening just by following a few simple instructions...PLEASE take the time to read through this... we DO have the power to stop this strike! Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at just above, or in many cases, below the seven-figure salary level. And as if that wasn't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. For only $20,000 a month, about $700 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it is a start, and every little bit will help. Although $700 a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, $700 is nothing more than a months rent, half the mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in that year old Lexus for a new Ferrari or enjoy a weekend in Rio. HOW WILL I KNOW I AM HELPING? Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401K, real estate and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other people's suffering. HOW WILL HE KNOW I AM HELPING? Your MLB player will be told that he has a "special friend" who just wants to help him in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses. YES! I WANT TO HELP! I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below: ( ) infielder ( ) Outfielder ( ) Starting Pitcher ( ) Ace Pitcher ( ) Entire Team (please call our 900 # to ask for the cost of a specific team. $10.00 per minute) ( ) Alex Rodriguez (higher cost: $60,000 per day) Please charge the following account listed below $700 per day for the player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a photo of the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 income statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80.00 for hat). Your Name: Telephone #: Account #: Expiration date: ( ) MasterCard ( ) Visa ( ) American Express ( ) Discover Signature: Alternate card (when primary card exceeds its credit limit): Account #: Expiration date: ( ) MasterCard ( ) Visa ( ) American Express ( ) Discover Signature: Mail completed form to MLB players union or call 1-900-FUCK-THE-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10.00 per minute) Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to: Telephone calls, letters, e-mails, or third parties. Please note all contributions are not tax-deductible. ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------��� Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ���----------------------TODAY IN HISTORY-----------------------��� If today is your birthday...you share it with: 1943 Jean Claude Killy France, skier (Olympic-3 golds-1968) 1943 R Crumb cartoonist (Father Time) 1947 Peggy Lipton Lawrence NY, actress (Julie-Mod Squad, Twin Peaks) 1950 John Landis actor (American Werewolf in London) 1951 Timothy Bottoms actor (Paper Chase, East of Eden) 1953 Robert Parish NBA center (Boston Celtics) 1955 Martin Jackson rocker (Swing Out Sister-Swing Out) 1964 Joan Bennett Chicago Ill, playmate (January, 1985) 1964 Stephen Baker NFL receiver (NY Giants) 1974 Matt Bongiovi heavy metal rocker (cousin of Jon Bon Jovi) .....and on this day in history: 1956 White mob prevents enrollment of blacks at Mansfield HS, Texas 1961 1st Negro judge of a US District Court confirmed-JB Parsons 1961 Oriole Jack Fisher walks 12 LA Angels in a 9 inning game 1963 Hot Line communications link between Wash DC & Moscow went begins 1965 Casey Stengel announces his retirement after 55 years in baseball 1965 Section of Allalin glacier wipes out construction site at Mattmark Dam near Saas-Fee, Switzerland 1967 US Senate confirm Thurgood Marshall as 1st black justice 1968 1st record under Apple label (Beatle's Hey Jude) 1969 120,000 attend Texas Intl Pop Festival 1969 25,000 attend 2nd Annual Sky River Rock Festival, Tenino Wash 1969 Racial disturbances in Fort Lauderdale Florida 1974 Express train runs full speed into Zagreb, Yugo rail yard killing 153 1975 KTW-AM in Seattle Wash changes call letters to KYAC (now KKFX) 1976 Tom Brokaw becomes news anchor of the Today Show 1979 1st recorded occurrence-comet hits sun (energy=1 mil hydrogen bombs) 1979 Pres Carter attacked by a rabbit on a canoe trip in Plains Ga 1983 8th Space Shuttle Mission-Challenger 3-launched (6 days) 1984 12th Space Shuttle Mission (41-D)-Discovery 1-launched (6 days) 1986 Soviet authorities arrested Nicholas Daniloff (US News World Report) 1987 Ben Johnson of Canada runs 100 m in world record 9.83 sec 1987 Stefka Kostadinova of Bulgaria sets high jump women's record (6'10�") 1987 Yves Pol of France runs complete marathon backwards (3:57:57) 1988 Julianne Philips files for divorce from Bruce Springsteen 1988 Tennis star Chris Everett weds skier Andy Mills 1989 Roman Polanski marries actress Emmanuelle Seigner 1990 Ken Griffey & Ken Griffey Jr become 1st father & son to play on the same team (Seattle Mariners), both single in the 1st inning 1991 Dan O'Brien sets US decathalon record with 8,812 points 1991 France beats US by narrowest Ryder Cup margin - 14� to 13� 1991 Mike Powell of the US, sets then long jump record at 29' 4�" �2002 http://www.scopesys.com/today/ ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A Pastor was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "Nope." "Is she a good Christian woman?" "I don't know for sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the pastor. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the preacher asked. "Cause she can drive at night," the old man said. ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� FREE GIFT just for signing up to Purehumour Ad-Free! Sign up NOW and you will get an instant free gift in addition to the BEST humour around...all without any ads at all! Guaranteed! <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ">Click</a> http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL----------------------��� Is it always this dark down here? Check out the poll at: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">FunStop</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------��� "Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid that to open it and remove all doubt." -Mark Twain ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Playboy Cover <a href=" http://roseys.net/jillsprog16.htm ">Click</a> http://roseys.net/jillsprog16.htm Milk Shakes <a href=" http://roseys.net/jillsprog17.htm ">Click</a> http://roseys.net/jillsprog17.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Wendy and Becky went out for a night on the town and got just totally blitzed. At the end of the evening they decided to take a short cut through a cow pasture after being unable to find a ride home. They became lost so split up to try and find the road home. Wendy doubled back only to stumble on Becky laying flat on her back sucking on, and playing with a cow's udders. Wendy screamed "what are you doing"? Becky replied "shut up, with all these guys here someone'll drive us home!" ���------------------------TOON TIME--------------------------------��� Good news!! <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.990 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.990 You're IT... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.989 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.989 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� This fellow had owned this large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back forty, had it fixed up nice, picnic tables, horse shoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond as he hadn't been there for a while and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or get out of the pond, I only came to feed my alligators!" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Lovers Caught on Tape! People caught with their "pants down" in the strangest places...hidden cameras capture ALL the action from beginning to end...you see the CLIMAX! Ever wonder what would happen if YOUR boss had a camera trained on you...well these folks found out the HARD way! <a href="http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/29.html";>Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/29.html ���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------��� If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue." The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over in his grave." Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. "Take her to Whirling Walter!" ���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------��� If you engage in oral sex first, it's not called a head start. ���-------------------------QUIZ QUEEN------------------------------��� Is one of these answers not a true collective description of a bird group? A. A charm of goldfinches B. A cast of hawks C. A watch of nightingales D. A clowder of quail --- Where did the name "whiteface" originate? A. The act was performed by pasty-white city dwellers B. Performers dabbed their faces with flour C. Only Caucasians were allowed to be clowns D. Space aliens tried to conform by wearing makeup <Answers in Next Issue!> Last Issue's Answers: Birds do what faster than any other animal? A. Breathe --- In 1937, Porky Pig showcased which cartoon bird for the first time on his show? B. Daffy Duck � Copyright 2002 Dawggone Communications Website: http://quizqueen.net Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� He Said I Never Listen <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/listen.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/listen.html Yeah, I'm Mary Kay's Top Salesman In The Hood <a href=" http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/38.html ">Click</a> http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/38.html ���---------------NON SMOKING SECTION-------------------------��� <To comply with recent internet law changes...Purehumour will now present a daily non-smoking section...this section is fully smoke-free...I do not smoke while creating it...and you are requested not to smoke while you read it! You co-operation is expected.> Sam came home unexpectedly early from work only to find Anni wife lying in bed naked with large hickies all over her neck and big red bruises and red welts all over her breasts. She had obviously been ravaged in sexual passion. Sam then noticed a burning cigar on the nightstand next to the bed. He screamed at Anni wife, "What is going on here, who did this to you?" Anni calmly and innocently said, "No one Sam, Whenever I try to smoke a cigar, I break out in a rash!" <End of non-smoking section...please light your tobacco products once more> ���---------------DUSTING OFF THE ARCHIVES---------------��� Watch this space for a brand new feature coming in Tuesday's issue! ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Do you love Purehumour? Enough to open your wallet a little? If you wish to donate to support the continue success of this ezine...please visit the link below...no amount is too small! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------��� A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum. "Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh." ���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------��� Dan's Discount Dicks <a href=" http://ezinesetc.com/jj7.htm ">Click</a> http://ezinesetc.com/jj7.htm Strip BlackJack With Jane <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/stripbjjane.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/stripbjjane.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Keli was studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear. After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about it. Keli replied, "It's for confidentiality." "Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor. "Yes, confidentiality," Keli explained, "I've been told what goes in one ear comes out the other, and I don't want anyone else knowing what my client says." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� YOU WIN! A FREE CD of your choice...many titles to choose from...all for being a part of Purehumour! Get YOUR FREE CD today: <a href="http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/free/";>FREE!</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/free ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Little Johnny, Little Johnny's little brother and their parents were Sitting down to supper one evening when Little Johnny's little brother, with a confused look on his face, asked, "Daddy, why do you call Mommy honey?" Little Johnny's father said, "Because mommy is my honey." Little Johnny's little brother still looked confused so Little Johnny said, "It's easy, she's his honey. he spreads her and eats her!" ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Who's The Rhode's Scholar? <a href=" http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/35.html ">Click</a> http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/35.html Hare Piece <a href=" http://ninasplace.com/003.htm ">Click</a> http://ninasplace.com/003.htm ���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------��� A teenager was arrested after firefighters had to free his thumb from a vending machine he was stealing chocolate from. The 15-year-old was thieving chocolate bars, chips and drinks at a Melbourne railway station when his hand became stuck. His friend, who's also 15, tried to free him but was forced to call emergency services. The Herald Sun reports about 10 rescue workers spent an hour freeing the boy, who was then handed over to police. He received plastic surgery to his injured thumb at hospital. He'll be interviewed by police at a later date. Fireman Steve Smith says despite the circumstances they had to treat the rescue seriously because there was a danger the boy's thumb could have been severed or broken. Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/ ">WNW</a> ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� <A Classic!> It's October, and an Indian chief thinks it's going to be a cold winter. So he instructs his tribe to collect firewood. To double-check his prediction, the chief calls the National Weather Service and asks a meteorologist if the winter is going to be a cold one. The man responds, "According to our indicators, we think it might." So the chief tells his people to find extra wood, just in case. A week later he calls the National Weather Service again, and they confirm that a harsh winter is headed their way. The chief orders all of his people to scavenge every scrap of wood they can. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks, "Are you absolutely sure this winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replies. "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy." ���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------��� [||||] L O S T I N S P A C E [||||] NASA misplaced their $159 mil Contour space craft somewhere over the Indian Ocean while attempting to boost same into orbit. (USA Today) The FBI has vowed to join in the search as soon as they find their laptops. Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� "Send someone over quickly!" screamed Laura into the phone. "Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window." "This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department." "No, no, your the guys I want," Laura yelled. "They need a longer ladder!" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Bingo on your computer...big prizes to be won! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/20.html ">Click</a> ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Not a damn... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.988 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.988 and the Good news is ... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.987 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.987 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture a number. "Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently. "This must not be your first," I said. "Oh, yes," he said. "It's my first." "Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked. He shrugged. "I'm a fisherman." ���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� How does every ethnic joke start? By looking over your shoulder. ���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------��� WIN Kim Burke's new book....just by entering the Paul's Fun House contest...one lucky winner will take home a personally signed copy of Kim's book "Incidents and Accidents For Frazzled Women"...you cannot win if you don't enter! It will take you less than 1 minute to do so and you can enter once each day: <a href=" http://contest.paulsfunhouse.com ">Click</a> http://contest.paulsfunhouse.com ---- "Capitalist Pigs In Spaaaaace!" Singer and the Russians Can't Seem To Get 'N Sync By Doug Powers 'N Sync singer Lance Bass is supposed to be riding on a Russian Soyuz rocket for a trip to the international space station in October, but for now that's on hold. The Russians say that the deadline for payment of the $20 million has passed and they still don't have the money, ironic behavior for a people who spent the better part of a century hating capitalists. People helping Bass organize the trip are blaming the delay on paperwork snags due, in part, to a lack of computer compatibility between the two countries. The reason for the incompatibility is clear-- Americans use windows-based operating systems, and the Russians don't have any computers. Why should that be a problem anyway? It seems like that if you're already spending $20 million on something, just shell out an extra hundred bucks to Fed-Ex the paperwork to Russia. Charging for space travel-- Why didn't we think of that? The United States spent 50 years locked in a fierce cold-war with Russia because we're greedy freedom lovers, and now they're the ones acting like a landlord waiting for the rent money before they'll come up and fix the toilet. How the tide has turned. Russians will sell anything now. Hell, last week I bought Kruschev's shoes on Ebay. One of the heals was a little more beaten down than the other, but it was a good find nonetheless. Russia's evolution from totalitarianism to capitalism has been swift and apparent. They've gone from the evil Stalin, to Kruschev's "We will bury you" vocal threats, to Perestroika, to "Yo, my man, check it out, I got Soyuz tickets, only $20 million 'dead Premier's' each." Despite the problems, Bass is still dead set on becoming the first genuine teen heartthrob in space since Wally Schirra. Should he go, he will become the third paying tourist in space. This brings to mind three questions-- Is allowing space travel for wealthy travelers a good idea, should the United States begin allowing private citizens to pay for travel on the Space Shuttle as a way of raising money for the program, and why weren't we able to put a Backstreet Boy into orbit before an 'N Sync guy? That latter question will probably soon be answered by Tiger Beat Magazine in their special "Pop music's space race" issue. Bass is lucky, instead of spending the rest of his life being known for singing bad songs, he'll go down in history as the Yuri Gagarin of Generation Ritalin. Where are the civil rights groups and champions of the causes of the poor and downtrodden during all of this? Why should the mystery and majesty of outer space be reserved only for the NASA trained and those with millions of disposable dollars? If a few more of these wealthy types go into space, look for Willie Nelson to hold a concert to raise money to send poor people into orbit. We could film the poor peoples' journey to the stars for a feature film. The movie would be a celestial Grapes of Wrath of sorts. Money raised through ticket sales alone would be more than enough to cover the costs for a subsequent voyage, return and recovery, and about a third of Willie's tax bill. There are those who think that NASA should follow the Russian lead and start letting private citizens ride along in return for millions of dollars. I'm not against the idea of space tourism, just the idea of government sponsored agencies doing it. The idea of outer space travel is still too dangerous to start viewing it with a theme park attitude. There's still an awful lot we don't know, and we pay big-time tax money toward programs such as NASA in order to find answers to those questions. Call me crazy, but I just don't think our astronauts and researchers could devote 100% attention to the tasks at hand with Carrot-Top or Cher on board. If somebody with money wants to start a private space travel venture, more power to them. I just won't live anywhere near the launch pad. There's something a little frightening about having giant rockets being operated by somebody whose only qualification is a degree in chemistry from Paducah Junior College. In scientific circles, this is known as the "Wile E. Coyote Effect," and is something to be feared and avoided. As of this moment, the only way ordinary citizens from the United States can go into orbit is by traveling to Russia or hanging with Robert Downey, Jr. Too bad Bass can't spend the $20 million put up by him and his sponsors in his own country. Our economy needs a boost more than Bass needs a cool view. copyright 2002 by Doug Powers Doug Powers is a writer of humor who maintains his summer home in mid-Michigan, and in the winter he moves to the south side of the same house and deludes himself into thinking that he has a winter home. He is constantly proofread by his wife and three children. In addition to columns and stories, Doug writes all kinds of short form humor, topical jokes, etc, for Laugh.Com and Airborne Entertainment, supplying humor content to wireless internet subscribers worldwide, except for maybe Calcutta and Bangledesh. Doug can be reached via his website at www.dougpowers.com or email at [EMAIL PROTECTED] Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------��� The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! If you don't wish to see such material...then DON'T click them! 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None of this material is considered copyright...it is considered in the public domain. If any material is copyrighted please notify me at <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Copyright</a> and proper credit will be given. It has been collected from various sources and submitters names have been included when given. Paul Croft - Owner/Editor-In-Chief/Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour! Contact me: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Paul's Address</a> Do you have a product, website or mailing list?? Interested in advertising on Purehumour?? Ad rates are only $2.00 CPM More details? <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Ad Rates</a> Email submissions to: Jokes: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Send Jokes</a> Purehumour Joke Ezine as a whole is copyright � Paul Croft-2002 All Worldwide rights reserved! 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