���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->��� and ���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->��� presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!---------------------> Grab a seat and get ready to roar in laughter...you have reached the original home of PUREHUMOUR! In the unlikely event that you no longer wish to receive the "Best Humour on the Net" then you will find the unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every mailing! Well...Purehumour has taken another turn in its evolution...there is now a totally ad-free version available to you...you can find details about the ad-free version at: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ">Click</a> http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html With the special ad-free version of Purehumour...you will become eligible to win great prizes and contests that are exclusive to the ad-free version...now is the time to sign up...get on board...and your name will automatically be included in the contests. Today's issue includes contributions by: Keli, SunAmy, Amanda, Ishy, Di Ann, Barb, Marina, Carol, John. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� Lets start with a quickie: Daffynition: Cocktail Party..... An affair where a mans gets stiff, a woman gets tight, and they return home to find that neither is either. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Nasty Prison... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.152 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.152 Exposing himself... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.661 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.661 ���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------��� Today's issue is brought to you by: The MOST UNIQUE CONTEST IN THE WORLD! Open to residents of the USA and Canada... ******* WIN FREE TOILET PAPER ******* YES you can WIN Free Toilet Paper...get a 24 roll pack of toilet paper right to your door when you WIN the most unique contest in the world! FREE and SIMPLE to enter...check out the link below: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/25.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/25.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Mrs. Smith's kitty isn't feeling well - a bad case of constipation. She calls the vet, who prescribes her a new kind of laxative. "Give her about six teaspoons of it, and she'll be better in no time." Mrs. Smith does as she's told and brings the cat in a week later. The vet asks, "How's your calf?" "Calf? I don't have a calf. It was my CAT who wasn't feeling well." "Oh no! That laxative was designed for a larger animal! There's no telling how it might affect a smaller one! How's your cat doing?" "I'm not sure. The last time I saw her, she was heading toward the north end of town with ten other cats. Five were digging, three were covering, and two were scouting for new territory." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------��� Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles." "What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group. "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?! ���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL--------------------��� 24 hours a day? Check it out: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">Poll</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------��� "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." -Sharon Stone ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Womb mates <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.662 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.662 The Rubber band... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.663 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.663 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button. Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin under the buttocks. The patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote. Side Effects of the New Orgasm Implant: 1. Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack. 2. Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of cover story headlines. 3. Dad: now surfs with two remotes Mom: never complains. 4. She never wants to cuddle anymore -- it's click, click, click, and she's out the door. 5. The Baptists hurriedly draft an extra Commandment. 6. Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you're looking at $600 bucks to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your SUV. 7. The Energizer Bunny keeps coming and coming... 8. "Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumbache." 9. Finally, size really *doesn't* matter. 10. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention... I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention... I'm sorry..." 11. Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable urge to shout your surgeon's name. 12. Side effects? Who cares about... oh... *oh*... OH, GOD! YESSSSSS!!!! 13. In addition to "Mute" and "Favorite," the wildly popular Radio Shack Ultimate Universal Remote now has a new button: "Big O." 14. Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their partner... errr, never mind.. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� A Boss Is Like A Diaper <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/aboss.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/aboss.html Spread the Word <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/legs.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/legs.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Waking up after a restless night, Anni turned to her husband Sam and frowned. "I can't believe it! All night long you kept cursing me in your sleep!" Sam replied, "Who was sleeping?" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Click here for a FREE HotMat mouse pad with FREE international delivery! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/7.html ">Click</a> ���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------��� If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� As husbands and wives will, from time to time, my wife and I were having the discussion about what would happen in the eventuality that one of us would predecease the other like...tomorrow night. The usual "would you remarry?" questions were asked and answered. I asked my wife, "If there was a nuclear war tomorrow, and you were the last woman alive on the face of the Earth, would you help procreate the species? Assume there were 10 men that were a mixture of reasonably attractive, and totally repugnant." My wife asked, "Are you alive or dead?" "Where I was standing at the moment the war broke out is now a smoking hole," I informed her. A few moments of consideration. "Yes, reluctantly, if I were the last woman on the face of the Earth, and the survival of the species depended on it, I'd have to do what was necessary." I was wandering into the kitchen to refill my drink when I heard this, muttered under her breath: "...bet your ass, I'd set myself up as Queen, though.". ���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------��� Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� A friendly place... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.664 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.664 Getting away from it all... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.665 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.665 ���---------------NON SMOKING SECTION-------------------------��� <To comply with recent internet law changes...Purehumour will now present a daily non-smoking section...this section is fully smoke-free...I do not smoke while creating it...and you are requested not to smoke while you read it! You co-operation is expected.> Greg is sick of Keli always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a Psychiatrist. The doctor gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home. When Greg walks through the door, Keli comes to greet him. He tells her, "From now on, I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want dinner on the table. Now, get upstairs and lay out some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the guys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" "The undertaker???" Keli replies. <End of non-smoking section...please light your tobacco products once more> ���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------��� A Canadian agency is reporting that the number of obese Canadians is rising rapidly. Those Canadians -- always trying to copy us. But the good news for Canadians: 200 pounds Canadian is only 180 pounds American. (Jay Leno) ���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------��� The Bragging Kitty <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/kittybrag.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/kittybrag.html ID Card For Drunks <a href=" http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/003.html ">Click</a> http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/003.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Some more Trivia for those boring days: The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma. American car horns beep in the tone of F. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Website hosting at a price YOU can afford...great features... all the bells and whistles...get YOUR spotlight now: <a href="http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html";>Hosting</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there's one." "No", said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's big enough." "No", the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one Dad, let's eat her." "No", said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive, and eat your mother." ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� The worst job? <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.667 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.667 Merry zap... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.669 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.669 ���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------��� A Dutch website is offering to teach women how to perform oral sex for just $2 a lesson. Vrouwonline started the course after a survey revealed women wanted more information about sexual techniques. Students have to pay 1.5 Euros, about $2, each time they visit the course which lasts four hours in full. Editor Roos Roodnat said: "The courses are very friendly to women, starters and experienced women, and every item of the course is explained with pictures and texts. "Customers are getting well informed about all possible techniques, showing mouth and hand techniques and different positions." Roodnat said the lessons were already proving a great success and the website is now planning to run courses in erotic massage, the Kama Sutra and masturbation for women. Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists</a> ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� One day while returning to my desk after a routine call, one of our female employees flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work, can you help me?" I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic Baggie- like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive. While I spent the next 20 minutes getting her disk out and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys in the corner of the office trying awful hard to keep a straight face. Suspecting some mischief, I asked her how the plastic got into the drive. "Oh, you mean the condom!" "Condom???" "Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses" By this point John & Dave were roaring and it was all I could do to keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5" plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke had been played and she shouldn't do that anymore, then she asked in a dead-serious voice: "Does that mean I don't have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either?" ���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------��� [||||] F E E L L I K E A N U T ? [||||] A George Washington University researcher has discovered a band of chimpanzees in West Africa that have genetically passed on the ability to use rock "hammers" to extract well protected panda nuts from their tough outer shells, leaving the tools for the next user at the base of hard tree trunk "anvils." (AP) Thus making them more productive to society than the Osbournes. Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� <A Classic!> A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "What else?" The monkey motioned "Screwing." "They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer. "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked the car?" "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" ....motioned the monkey ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Win one of 16 $1000 jackpots daily or one of 5 $5000 jackpots on weeknights! Happy hour specials and much more...all for the taking! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/20.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/20.html ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Getting enough exercise... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.671 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.671 Yuck!!! <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.673 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.12.673 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. "Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband!" ���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� What's the difference between a blonde guy and a blonde girl? The blonde girl's sperm count is higher. ���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------��� DISINFOTAINMENT TODAY! "If we don't print it, it didn't happen!" ISSUE #5 BELIEVE IT OR ELSE Whatever Turns You On New York is expecting a baby boom nine months after the terrorist attacks. War of Words George W. Bush came out against the "war of words" between the leaders of India and Pakistan, who are both attending a regional security conference in Kazakhstan. "Words? It's not fair," he said. "I wish they'd switch to weapons." Egypt Warned U.S. of Pederast Priests Egyptian intelligence warned U.S. officials last year that Catholic priests were fucking little boys. "There's no doubt the CIA knew," said Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. "I told them myself and showed them the pictures." What's the difference? Napster has declared bankruptcy but Limewire lives on. Greetings Dr. Hollywood, If you are looking for a writer's assistant that is 1) willing to rise with the sun and work until Security Guard Sam has found his seat at the front desk; 2) is able to concept, craft. and condense any genre or lexicon of written text into a concise and clean format; 3) expert with Final Draft 4) published writer; 5) all-around "swell" guy, the please take a minute to read my resume and curriculum and give me a call. Thanks and all the best. Barry.Jude Landry Dear Barry, Thank you for braving time and space to contact me. You are the answer to my prayers. I live up a dirt road in the middle of the desert, fifteen miles from civilization with no transportation. I need to get my kids to the bus stop every weekday PRECISELY at sunrise, which is when you're up anyway. I need you about 6:30AM. Thanks, MD Dear Dr. "Desert Dweller" Hollywood, Thanks immensely for the generous offer to support and develop my burgeoning writing career with your empirical expertise and awe-inspiring screenwriting gift. My rate (not including gas) is $1000/Day. If this is OK, when might I start? BJL Barry, My friend Andre is going to inherit $6 million next month. If you'll take a post-dated check, we're on. MD Dear Dr., No worries, just sign over your land, horses, trucks, livestock, and any real-estate titles in third-world countries and I'll make sure Junior and Juniorette make it to the bus stop pronto like Tonto. Tell your buddy Andre that I know a great tax lawyer -- he only takes half. BJL Dear Barry, I own a patch of land in New Guinea that's perfect for a leper colony. The title's in my sister's name but I can forge her signature pretty well. All my horses and livestock are roaming the free ranges of Montana, but if you can round them up, they're yours. And if I had a truck, I wouldn't need your help. MD Gee Doctor, Your life is a little bit on the chaotic side -- maybe I should reconsider that offer. I tell you what, if your sister is hot and she knows how to round up horses, tell her to give me a call. We'll fix up that 'ole truck (any man worth his salt has a beat-up truck on his desolate desert property), sell the property in New Guinea (cannibalistic lepers? scary...), kick you out (you sound like you need some tough-love), and raise Junior and Juniorette on our own -- maybe look into some home-schooling fer the yung 'uns. All the best. BJL Barry, Well, if you're going to be THAT way about it. My uncle Sid grooms Brad Pitt's analyst's dog and he's gotten Brad to agree to star in my treatment of the life of Gerald Ford and we need someone like you for the final polish. But now, forget it. MD Send your questions to "Ask Dr. Hollywood" at [EMAIL PROTECTED] WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK? by Helen A. Handbasket This has been a week for facing reality. The Bush Administration has finally admitted that there is such a thing as global warming, that trees emit oxygen, and nothing beats the smell of sulfur. June 3, 2002 5. Russia has agreed to allow 'N Sync's Lance Bass to be the first pop star to go into space as long as they can leave him there. 4. Eight tons of cyanide hijacked from a truck in Mexico is missing but they still won't cancel Friends. 3. Florida can't find 1,000 children that were in state custody. Madonna's pregnant again. Coincidence? I don't think so. 2. Someone please explain to me how Thoroughly Modern Millie was the best musical of the year but Urinetown: The Musical had the best book, the best score, and the best direction. Hey Tony Award voters. Watch your buttocks. And the number one nation going to hell this week? 1. Winona Ryder fractured her elbow on her way into court so her shoplifting trial was postponed and her hands weren't chopped off. PORK FROM HELL The new Security bill to help defend America against terrorism contains $2 million for the Smithsonian Institution to house its jars of biological specimens, $2.5 million to map coral reefs around Hawaii, and $5 million to subsidize farmers' markets and roadside produce stands. HISTORY LESSON FROM HELL In 1898, Bayer trademarked Heroin and in 1900 marketed it world-wide as a cough medicine. QUOTES FROM HELL "Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it." - Mark Twain - "The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children." - Clarence Darrow - "The more things change, the less they remain the same." - Satan - QUIZ FROM HELL When George W. Bush said "Do you have blacks, too?", he was... a) touring a crayon manufacturing plant. b) talking to Brazilian President Henrique Cardosa. CHILDREN'S SHOW THEME SONG FROM HELL Contraceptivesponge Hotpants Who lives in a prostitute under a bridge? Contraceptivesponge Hotpants Who'll do it for change that fell under the fridge? Contraceptivesponge Hotpants Repulsive and horny and smelly is she Contraceptivesponge Hotpants You can get off by just watching her pee Contraceptivesponge Hotpants Who gives you the clap for a buck ninety-eight? Contraceptivesponge Hotpants Who'll take all your semen but won't procreate Contraceptivesponge Hotpants Contraceptivesponge Hotpants Contraceptivespo-o-o-o-nge Hotpants! -- [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.geocities.com/disinfotainment/. Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------��� The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! If you don't wish to see such material...then DON'T click them! This is your only warning! Clubtranny.com <a href="http://www2.clubtranny.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ct&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.clubtranny.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ct&program=unique Cumcheeks.com <a href="http://www2.cumcheeks.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=cc&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.cumcheeks.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=cc&program=unique Cartoonhardcore.com <a href="http://www2.cartoonhardcore.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ch&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.cartoonhardcore.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ch&program=unique Digitalchicks.com <a href="http://www2.digitalchicks.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=dc&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.digitalchicks.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=dc&program=unique DirtyXXXsex.com <a href="http://www2.dirtyxxxsex.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ds&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.dirtyxxxsex.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ds&program=unique Ebonycheeks .com <a href="http://www2.ebonycheeks.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ec&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.ebonycheeks.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=ec&program=unique Facialmasters.com <a href="http://www2.facialmasters.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=fm&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.facialmasters.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=fm&program=unique Farmsecrets.com <a href="http://www2.farmsecrets.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=fs&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.farmsecrets.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=fs&program=unique Girlforgirl.com <a href="http://www2.girlforgirl.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=gf&program=unique";>Click</a> http://www2.girlforgirl.com/cgi/click?account=973985&site=gf&program=unique MORE adult sites: http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/adult/ ���--------------------IMPORTANT INFORMATION!--------------------��� When forwarding this ezine please leave this trailer message in place. None of this material is considered copyright...it is considered in the public domain. If any material is copyrighted please notify me at <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Copyright</a> and proper credit will be given. It has been collected from various sources and submitters names have been included when given. Paul Croft - Owner/Editor-In-Chief/Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour! Contact me: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Paul's Address</a> Do you have a product, website or mailing list?? Interested in advertising on Purehumour?? Ad rates are only $2.00 CPM More details? <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Ad Rates</a> Email submissions to: Jokes: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Send Jokes</a> Purehumour Joke Ezine as a whole is copyright � Paul Croft-2002 All Worldwide rights reserved! Purehumour is published in small town Canada...all views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher and should not be taken as such...they are meant in the spirit of humour and nothing else! If offended by a selection in this issue...please hit delete! Some material in Purehumour is written exclusively for Purehumour... this material is marked as such! Copyright is retained by the original author and any reproduction in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of the author and also the publisher of Purehumour is strictly prohibited! The BEST Lists around: Purehumour (the Original)-Sent Almost Daily: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=subscribe ">Purehumour</a> or visit: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists Page</a> PHWeekly (Purehumour Lite) - Sent Saturdays Subscribe: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=subscribe ">PHWeekly</a> or visit: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists Page</a> Weird News Ezine (A clean look at bizarre news) - Sent Saturdays <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=subscribe ">Weird News Weekly</a> or visit: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists Page</a> To cancel (unsubscribe) from these mailings...please visit: <a href=" http://unsubscribe.paulsfunhouse.com ">Unsubscribe Page</a> These are the worst jokes in history...the jokes that were banned from Purehumour...get them now! Send a blank email to: <this is an autoresponder> <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Banned Jokes</a> Archives at: <a href=" http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj ">Archives</a> Website: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com ">Homepage</a>
