���<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->��� and ���<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->��� presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!---------------------> Grab a seat and get ready to roar in laughter...you have reached the original home of PUREHUMOUR! In the unlikely event that you no longer wish to receive the "Best Humour on the Net" then you will find the unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of every mailing! After 3 1/2 years of publishing Purehumour...your name is pretty recognizable amongst other list owners...I have found that I have a whole bunch of good buddies out on the net...but I have also found out that I have a whole bunch of other list owners subscribed to Purehumour! One of the biggest ego boosts I can get is when I see jokes from Purehumour published around the net and then eventually making it back into my mail box in their original form. The names that you see in Purehumour every day are great friends of mine...and we have a little ongoing battle to "get even" with each other through the use of humour...so when you see someone "attacked" in a joke in Purehumour...you know that Paul has won another round! ;) SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Purehumour is now available in an ad-free version for a small fee...more details available at: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html ">Ad-Free</a> http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/paid.html WIN $50.00 just by subscribing...a new winner each month starting in August! Don't forget to enter the contest...YOU could win! <a href=" http://contest.paulsfunhouse.com ">Click</a> http://contest.paulsfunhouse.com Today's issue includes contributions by: Pat, Cathy, SunAmy, Keli, Laura, Rubin. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ���-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� Lets start with a quickie: Why don't lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand. ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Stop that Boy! <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.248 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.248 Is it safe? <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.88 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.88 ���------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------��� Today's issue is brought to you by: Rummage through grandma's purse, Break open the kids piggy bank, Root around between the cushions of the sofa, do whatever it takes to scrounge up a measly 15 bucks for your very own copy of That's Comedy! on CD - the new CD that Playboy Magazine, Howard Stern and Larry King have all said absolutely nothing about. THIS JUST IN! - OPRAH WINFREY has also said nothing about this CD! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ">Click<a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/28.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Anni, a former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been somewhat stretched is given a proposal of marriage from Sam who met in a bar one night. She thinks it over, and she decides to accept his proposal. Anni's private parts are somewhat oversized from her former occupation, but she decides to approach the problem after they are married. On their wedding night, Anni explains the problem by saying that when she was a small child, she got her privates caught on some barbed wire while climbing over a fence, explains why her vagina is so big. They make wild and passionate love for most of the night, and in the early hours of the morning, Sam, after regaining his breath, turns to her and says, "I can understand your private parts being stretched by this barbed wire, Anni dear, but just how far across the field were you before you noticed?" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ���------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------��� Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A trucker stops for red light and a blonde girl catches up. She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window. The girl says "Hi, my name is Anni and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. The trucker stops for another red light and the girl again catches up. She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window. And she says "Hi my name is Anni and you are losing some of your load!" He ignores her again and continues down the street. The trucker stops for still another red light and the girl catches up again all out of breath. She knocks on the door and the trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Anni and you are losing some of you load!" He dismisses her and starts off down the street, then stops. The trucker gets out of the truck, approaches the blonde girl and says "Hi, my name is Kevin and I am driving a SALT TRUCK!" ���----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL--------------------��� Sometimes two is better than one! Check it out: <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">Poll</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ���-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------��� "No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." -Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� What about the mess?? <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.366 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.366 Party Games... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.593 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.593 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A sheep farmer made his monthly journey into town to buy supplies. While loading up his pickup, he spotted one of the girls who worked at the bordello watching him. "Say, honey," he asked, "what's the going rate these days?" "Hundred bucks," she replied. "If every man raised sheep, we wouldn't need you women," he exclaimed with disgust. "Yeah," she said, "and if vibrators could cut the grass, we wouldn't need you men, either." ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Ever Have One Of Those Days <a href=" http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/014.html ">Click</a> http://www.myrddinsnet.com/jah/014.html Just Say NO To Crack <a href=" http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/06010204.html ">Click</a> http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/06010204.html You Had Too Much To Drink <a href=" http://64.246.18.78/Funlinks/6.html ">Click</a> http://64.246.18.78/Funlinks/6.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� "If 99.9% Is Good Enough...." - 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. - 114,500 mismatched pairs of shoes will be shipped/year. - 18,322 pieces of mail will be mishandled/hour. - 2,000,000 documents will be lost by the IRS this year. - 2.5 million books will be shipped with the wrong covers. - Two planes landed at Chicago's O'Hare airport will be unsafe every day. - 315 entries in Webster's Dictionary will be misspelled. - 20,000 incorrect drug prescriptions will be written this year. - 880,000 credit cards in circulation will turn out to have incorrect cardholder information on their magnetic strips. - 103,260 income tax returns will be processed incorrectly during the year. - 5.5 million cases of soft drinks produced will be flat. - 291 pacemaker operations will be performed incorrectly. - 3056 copies of tomorrow's Wall Street Journal will be missing one of the three sections. - A typical day would be 24 hours long (give or take 86.4 seconds) ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Click here for a FREE HotMat mouse pad with FREE international delivery! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/7.html ">Click</a> ���------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------��� If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Six-year-old Little Johnny walked into a saloon and said to the barmaid, "Give me a Scotch on the rocks." "You're just a kid," said the barmaid. "Do you want to get me in trouble?" "Maybe in a couple of years," replied Little Johnny. "But in the meantime, I'd still like that Scotch." ���--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------��� You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman...Stuff you pay good money for in later life. ���-------------------------QUIZ QUEEN------------------------------��� What is the southernmost city in Canada? A. Windsor, Ontario B. Vancouver, British Columbia C. Quebec City, Quebec D. Edmonton, Alberta --- The gestation period for musk deer is 160 days. Can you guess how long it is for roe deer? A. 4 months B. 6 months C. 8 months D. 10 months <Answers in Next Issue!> Last Issue's Answers: What is Canada's official language? D. Both English and French --- What is the shortest known gestation period among mammals? A. 12 days � Copyright 2002 Dawggone Communications Website: http://quizqueen.net Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Party Games 2... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.594 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.594 Just can't win... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.595 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.595 ���---------------NON SMOKING SECTION-------------------------��� <To comply with recent internet law changes...Purehumour will now present a daily non-smoking section...this section is fully smoke-free...I do not smoke while creating it...and you are requested not to smoke while you read it! You co-operation is expected.> 911 CALLS - The following exchanges are taken from transcripts of 911 calls: Caller: "I'd like to make a unanimous complaint, so don't use my name." Caller: "I'm reporting a deer on the road. I almost hit it." Call-taker: "Is the deer alive?" Caller: "Oh, no, it's run over. Many, many cars. Again and again, and - OH NO!!! NOT AGAIN!" Caller: "Am I talking to a real person, or is this a recording?" Caller: "We might (cough) need the fire department here (cough)." Caller: "Is it okay for a civilian to take a person to the hospital, or does the ambulance have to do it?" Caller: "He's not breathing!" Call-taker: "Can you get the phone close to him? Caller: "WHY? You want to hear he's not breathing, too?" Call-taker: "Does she have any weapons?" Caller: "Well, she has real long finger nails." Call-taker: "We'll need a description of him." Caller: "He's a lawyer." Complaint about a stolen mailbox: Call-taker: "What is your address?" Caller: "It's gone." <End of non-smoking section...please light your tobacco products once more> ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Do you love Purehumour? Enough to open your wallet a little? If you wish to donate to support the continue success of this ezine...please visit the link below...no amount is too small! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/ph.html ���--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------��� Bill is desperate to find a job, so he's combing the want ads. He finds one that says "Bus Driver. No Experience Necessary." He goes to the address and finds a bus painted with pictures of Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and Elmo. He figures "eh, it could be worse" and takes the job. After driving awhile he consults his map and gets to the first stop. A HUGE girl gets on, he says "hello, who are you?" She says "my name is Patty." and sits down. He goes to his next stop, where another huge girl gets on. She says "Hi, my name is Patty." He goes to the next stop, and this skinny weird-looking kid gets on. Bill says "Good morning, who are you?" The kid says "My name is Ross. I'm special." He goes to the next stop, and this little black kid gets on. "What up yo, I be Lester G." Lester G sits in the seat right behind Bill, takes off his shoes, and starts pulling bunyons off and throwing them at the windshield. By this time it's all gotten too surreal for Bill so he drives back to the bus barn and quits. The guy that hired him asks why. Bill says; "This is only my first day and already I've had to pick up... ....two obese Patty's, special Ross, Lester G picking bunyons on a Sesame Street bus." ���------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------��� Texas Horseshoes <a href=" http://www.comedyezine.com/b9.htm ">Click</a> http://www.comedyezine.com/b9.htm My Boss Is In To cybersex <a href=" http://64.246.18.78/Funlinks/1.html ">Click</a> http://64.246.18.78/Funlinks/1.html I'm Going Shopping To Walmart <a href=" http://judysjokes.com/jokes/jj/06010205.html ">Click</a> http://judysjokes.com/jokes/jj/06010205.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, "Do you have any military experience?" The Marine replied, "Why, yes! I've been in the Marines for a couple of years." "I see," said the interviewer, "any disabilities?" The Marine looked at him and replied shakily. "Well... In the Vietnam War I had a grenade go off between my legs, blowing off my testicles." The interviewer, quite shocked, said "All right, you're hired. Please report to work on Monday at 10:00am." "Wait wait!" shouted the Marine, "When do the others start? I don't want any special treatment just because of my disability." The interviewer replied, "Well... I'll tell you the truth. Everyone normally comes at 7:00 in the morning, but nothing gets done until 10. All we do is sit around, scratching our nuts trying to figure out what to do." ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Website hosting at a price YOU can afford...great features... all the bells and whistles...get YOUR spotlight now: <a href="http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html";>Hosting</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/16.html ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Greg was arrested one night while walking naked down the streets of the little town of Caraway, AR. The Policeman who was a good friend of Greg's said "Greg... What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes? You're naked!" "Yeah, I know," said Greg. "You see, I was over to that "playboy" Sam's for his birthday party. There were about 28 of us. There was boys and girls....Anyway, that Sam, he says, 'Everybody get into the bedroom,' So we all go into the bedroom... well then he yells 'everybody get naked!" "Well, we all got undressed. Then he yells, 'Everybody go to town!' "I guess I'm the first one to get here!" ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Well blow me over... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.596 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.2.596 Game auditions... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.14.1143 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.14.1143 ���-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------��� Two male teachers have been suspended after fighting in front of 500 pupils over a woman colleague. The love rivals rolled on the ground, pulled hair and flung stones and mud at each other at the school in southern India. Witnesses say they were accusing each other of trying to sabotage their chances with the female teacher. Education department officials have shut the school in Periyakurichi village while they hold an inquiry. A spokesman said: "They have a lot of explaining to do. It won't be necessary to tell them that their behaviour was absolutely disgraceful and that they have set a very bad example for the students." Newspaper Patrike reports one parent, M Rajamani, who intervened to separate the fighting teachers, said: "I am worried about the impact their behaviour will have on my son when he grows up. I would hate to see him behaving violently." Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists</a> ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Sadie had been widowed for a few years and very lonely, and finally consented to going out on a date with Morris, the gentleman her daughter fixed her up with. Morris picked up her and they went on a picnic in a very secluded spot. Morris also had been widowed for a long time and found himself very attracted to Sadie, and despite her resistance at first to his advances, he finally was able to make love to her. Sadie was mortified at her lack of self control and sobbed "I don't know how I can face my daughter, knowing in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!" Morris said "What do you mean "twice" we only did it once?" Sadie looked at Morris and said, "...Well, you're going to do it again, aren't you?" ���-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------��� [||||] D E N S E U N D E R G R O W T H [||||] Pfizer, developers of Viagra, has purched Pharmacia, maker of the world's leading hair restorer, Rogaine. (Boston Globe) Which from now on will not only grow hair -- but STIFFER hair. Copyright � 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� Sam, Greg, Kurt and Norm were all getting a little long in the tooth. They all were avid golfers but after many years of playing the game their enthusiasm was waning a little. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," Same complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said Greg. "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said Kurt. After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them, Norm, piped up and said... "Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!" ���--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------��� Software for the taking....FREE...trials and full versions... The Download Network is the perfect place to find all your software requirements: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/9.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/9.html ���--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------��� Working late.. <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.14.1142 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.14.1142 Limiting pc time... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.14.1141 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.14.1141 ���--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------��� As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season... When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist." ���---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------��� What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth? Gladiator! (Glad he ate her) ���--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------��� "Not Affiliated in Any Way!" ISSUE #12 A Letter from Tom Robbins It seems Tom found himself at a restaurant where the menu was designed so you can fold it and mail it to whomever you want. Apparently the meal was so bad he was inspired to mail the menu to me. In the space for a message, Tom scrawled two sentences. The second is "You happen to have any Tums?" The first sentence? Beats me. Handwriting. That's why they invented typewriters. Help me out here. I've posted the letter to http://home.earthlink.net/~disinfotainment/schnitzel.jpg. BELIEVE IT OR ELSE Good Thing/Bad Thing Stock prices are plummeting. Fears of renewed recession are rising. New reports abroad say Osama bin Laden is still alive and plotting to kill Americans. Democrats are in full attack mode. Bush might not get re-unelected. Mrs. Bob Dole is Still Against It An Indian doctor saved the lives of three "blue babies" (a lung problem starves them of oxygen) by treating them with Viagra. Degree of Sanity Found in Palm Springs California Robert Downey Jr. has been cleared of all charges. They Just Got Around To It? This week, Amnesty International condemned Palestinian suicide bombings. OBL Watch Number of days since 9/11 that Osama bin Laden has not been found - 309. Dear Dr. Hollywood, My dream is to be a regular paid columnist for a print publication. Okay, maybe even a syndicated one. Think the female Dave Barry, right there in the Arts & Entertainment section. While I do understand I will have to take a few Sasquatch-ian steps to get there, I am not sure which path I should lumber down. Is it smarter to be a columnist without pay and have the regular gig (for exposure) or do I send things out one-by-one to paying sites and end up making chump change? I would really appreciate your words of wisdom! Thanks! Shana Shana, If you're talking syndication in the print world, it's a tough nut to crack. Though I've never been syndicated, I've dealt with King Syndication many times. (They recently held on to my column "Who's Going to Hell This Week?" for more than a year. The head of the company wrote me back apologizing for taking so long but he loved the column and just couldn't place it anywhere.) In any case, King, and all other syndicaters, want 10 demo columns that are exactly the same. 500 words, not 499 or 501. 750 words, not 749 or 751. They want to see professionalism to a major degree, proving your ability to crank out product on a regular basis. They also want to know that you're already being printed regularly. You'll never get anywhere as the next Dave Barry because the competition is too fierce. If anyone ever needs another Dave Barry and Dave Barry isn't available, King has got another 12 Dave Barrys already lined up, believe me. Get in line. The secret of syndication is timing your proposal to fulfill a need they don't know about yet. One very successful journalist once told me that the secret of his success was finding out what people were doing on Saturday night. What's the popular thing that people are doing? In the mid 80s, I became one of the very first video columnists because I walked into the office of the editor of the LA Weekly and told him there was this new thing called home video that we should be covering on a regular basis. It wasn't as though he had to choose between me and someone else to do this column. I was staking out new territory, and once he started printing me I started getting picked up by dozens of magazines and newspapers from around the world, eventually ending up as Billboard's video columnist. If you had gotten to any publication with a column reviewing websites just as the WWW was peaking seven or eight years ago, before every magazine already had such a column, there's a good chance you'd be in print. Your column has got to be more than just your opinion of things. Too vague. Do some investigating to find a new ingredient to add to your mix, something no one's covering. Got dyslexic twins? You can do the very first Recipes for Dyslexic Twins column. I'm being facetious but you get my point. If you're the only one doing something, then you've got no competition. MD Send your questions to "Ask Dr. Hollywood" at [EMAIL PROTECTED] WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK? July 22, 2002 COUNTRY SONG FROM HELL Back when Randy Newman did "Short People," a bunch of midgets protested by destroying copies of his record. Now, a bunch of mental midgets have attacked Steve Earle for doing a song called "John Walker's Blues," a song seemingly in praise of John Walker Lindh, and obviously sarcastic to anyone with a shred of a sense of humor. Some of the lyrics... "We came to fight the jihad, our hearts were pure and strong. We filled the air with our prayers and we prayed for our martyrdom. Allah has some other plans, a secret not revealed. Now they're dragging me back with my head in the sack to the land of the infidel." FILM REVIEW FROM HELL Here's a serious site that quotes a lot of scripture to prove that Men in Black II is the work of Satan. http://www.capalert.com/capreports/meninblackii.htm ANALOGY FROM HELL The Great Barrier Reef stretches some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef. On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question. "I notice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful," a traveler observed. "Why is this?" The guide gave an interesting answer: "The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms -- surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces." Then he added: "That's the way it is with every living organism." QUOTES FROM HELL "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." - George W. Bush - "Even if you don't believe a word of the bible, you've got to respect the person who typed all that." - Lotus Weinstock - "The world will not be saved by old minds with new programs. If the world is saved, it will be saved by new minds with no programs." - Daniel Quinn - "It is the addition of strangeness to beauty that constitutes the romantic character in art." - Walter Pater - "Monetary loss or even the shock of moral sensibilities is perhaps a passing thing, but the breaking down of the faith of a people in the honesty of their government and in the integrity of their institutions, the lowering of respect for the standards of honor which prevail in high places, are crimes for which punishment can never atone." - Herbert Hoover - "I can think of no faster way to unite the American people behind George W. Bush than a terrorist attack on an American target overseas. And I believe George W. Bush will quickly unite the American people through his foreign policy." - Henry Kissinger, appearing on CNBC, 12/13/2000 - "We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis and the nations will accept a New World Order." - David Rockefeller - "Why do schmucks and dickheads play such a vital role in American society? In a nutshell, their colorful antics brighten the day for the hoi polloi, and particularly for the less fortunate members of the hoi polloi. Toothless, blind, syphilitic and imprisoned in the worst Mexican jail, a person can still console himself with the thought: Well, at least I'm not Carrot Top." - Joe Queenan - Acknowledgement dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. Thanks, Satan -- [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.geocities.com/disinfotainment/. Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ���----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------��� The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! If you don't wish to see such material...then DON'T click them! This is your only warning! 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