Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. On Wed, Mar 12, 2014 at 6:03 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Broken pencils are pointless. On Wed, Mar 12, 2014 at 10:08 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:16 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Why did Cleopatra always go around saying no? Because she was the queen of denial. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 5:26 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:12 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 4:18 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:16 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Why did Cleopatra always go around saying no? Because she was the queen of denial. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 5:26 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:12 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 4:18 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Broken pencils are pointless. On Wed, Mar 12, 2014 at 10:08 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:16 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Why did Cleopatra always go around saying no? Because she was the queen of denial. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 5:26 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:12 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 4:18 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 4:18 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:12 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 4:18 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Why did Cleopatra always go around saying no? Because she was the queen of denial. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 5:26 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds. On Tue, Mar 11, 2014 at 8:12 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 4:18 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 8:23 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 9:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. On Sun, Mar 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Class trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. On Sat, Mar 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. On Fri, Mar 7, 2014 at 7:38 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A dyslexic man walks into a bra. On Fri, Mar 7, 2014 at 7:57 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 8:35 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 9:30 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
But Richard, if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? So, not get here first? Go figure (-: On Saturday, March 8, 2014 7:46 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. On Fri, Mar 7, 2014 at 7:38 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A dyslexic man walks into a bra. On Fri, Mar 7, 2014 at 7:57 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 8:35 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 9:30 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
On 3/8/2014 9:23 AM, Share Long wrote: if they had reservations, wouldn't that make them hesitate? Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. When he was standing on the beach exchanging gifts, one of the native inhabitants said: But, Chris, why do you call us Indians? Go figure. --- This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. http://www.avast.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 8:35 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 9:30 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
A dyslexic man walks into a bra. On Fri, Mar 7, 2014 at 7:57 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 8:35 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 9:30 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. On Thu, Mar 6, 2014 at 9:30 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 12:11 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus,
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Once you've seen one strip shopping center, you've seen a mall. On Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: LOL, Richard, thanks and keep 'em coming... On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 7:39 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I used to own an origami shop. It folded. On Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 5:42 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 7:14 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.comwrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Ha! Just what I needed. Too bad my kids have outgrown traditional Halloween. ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, punditster@... wrote: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 1:02 PM, Pundit Sir punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid - he say he can stop anytime. On Mon, Mar 3, 2014 at 8:11 AM, Pundit Sir punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:44 PM, Pundit Sir punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelong60@... mailto:sharelong60@... wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams punditster@... mailto:punditster@... wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: When chemists die, they barium. On Sun, Mar 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM, Pundit Sir pundits...@gmail.com wrote: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas. On Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 7:29 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.comwrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Re: [FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, I must have taken Leif off my census. On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Share Long sharelon...@yahoo.com wrote: Richard, imho these are very good for preventing dementia and or Alzheimers (-: On Tuesday, December 3, 2013 12:25 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew,and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, We have absolutely nothing to go on. On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 12:08 PM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression,He who has a Tate's is lost! On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 8:22 AM, Richard Williams pundits...@gmail.comwrote: A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. On Sun, Dec 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM, Richard J. Williams pundits...@gmail.com wrote: King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
[FairfieldLife] Re: Puns Can Be Fun
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it. But I paid a million dinars for it, the King protested. Don't you know who I am? I am the king! Croesus replied, When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are. On 12/1/2013 3:46 PM, Richard J. Williams wrote: Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire. And, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
